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Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

816 replies

wearejustfriends · 18/04/2022 14:31

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

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Sswhinesthebest · 18/04/2022 15:16

I’ve refused to move before when we’ve paid for our seats.

Now it’s just dh and I, we take our chances and take advantage of a cheaper flight. It’s not a problem if we are sat separately but we check in as soon as it opens, and we are rarely unable to get seats together.

Would I refuse to move now, not having paid? I think it depends on the person who asked, how they ask and the mood I’m in.

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Suzi888 · 18/04/2022 15:16

@SpringLobelia

and IME people who have a child who has some sort of issue with any sort of travel usually plans it down to the tiniest little degree.

So I'd say on balance she was a chancer.

^ She should’ve booked her seats. That’s what you do if you want to sit together.
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ilovesooty · 18/04/2022 15:18

@RobotValkyrie

Not unreasonable. Just uncharitable. You're allowed to be mean. People are allowed to judge you for it.

Personally I would have swapped for the sake of a child. My partner is an adult and can survive a whole flight without me holding his hand.
You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings. The privilege is all yours. Own it.

Good for you if you're happy to throw money away for a reservation you don't then use.

It's not pleasant to try to make people feel guilty about not moving from reserved seats they'd paid a fee for. Any duty of care is on the child's parent.

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WombatChocolate · 18/04/2022 15:18

I think I would have said ‘no, sorry we paid extra to have these specific seats’

If I hadn’t paid, I might have switched in the situation.
I would have mentioned the fact I’d paid and chosen the tickets to give an explanation of why I was saying no. Although here’s no need to explain, often it helps someone else to understand why you’ve said no. They might not realise you’ve paid or forgotten that there was an option to pay. Once they realise you’ve actually paid for those seats, most people would then accept your ‘no’ with good grace and to say something like ‘what does it matter to you’ would really be extremely rude.

Often, if you’re on a bus etc and 2 adults are seated together and an adult and child gets on, one will offer to switch so the child can sit with parent. That’s quite normal, but different to here as you’d paid.

People get quite picky about plane seats especially when it’s a long flight. That’s why they offer better seats or seats together for a fee..but people have to choose whether to opt in and cannot then expect those who have paid extra to hand over what they’ve paid for to others.

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Spikeyball · 18/04/2022 15:19

"You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings."

The mother didnt appear to care too much about her own child's feelings.

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girlmom21 · 18/04/2022 15:21

My partner is an adult and can survive a whole flight without me holding his hand.

I've never heard of anyone - adult or child - who died from not holding hands during a flight.

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MarshaBradyo · 18/04/2022 15:21

@Spikeyball

"You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings."

The mother didnt appear to care too much about her own child's feelings.

True. And she should have more of a reason to pay than rely on others doing so for her.
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Clymene · 18/04/2022 15:23

@RobotValkyrie

Not unreasonable. Just uncharitable. You're allowed to be mean. People are allowed to judge you for it.

Personally I would have swapped for the sake of a child. My partner is an adult and can survive a whole flight without me holding his hand.
You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings. The privilege is all yours. Own it.

GrinGrinGrinGrin

Do you apply the same rule to all seats? Theatre tickets for example?

The woman would have known she was sitting in a separate row when she checked in. If it was essential she sat next to her kid, she should have paid for it like everyone else, not tried to guilt trip the OP.

Good on you for sticking to your guns OP

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Nsky · 18/04/2022 15:24

I pay for priority boarding, extra luggage, £35 each way, no not swapping

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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/04/2022 15:24

She should have paid. Honestly people are so tight.

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Blossomtoes · 18/04/2022 15:25

@apricotlane

I would have quite happily moved. This thread is making me think I'm nicer than I thought I was, and that's saying something!
Me too! I rarely sit next to my bloke on flights because I like the window and he prefers the aisle.
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StrongerOrWeaker · 18/04/2022 15:25

I would have said yes if she was willing to pay me.

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LouB76 · 18/04/2022 15:26

@RobotValkyrie

Not unreasonable. Just uncharitable. You're allowed to be mean. People are allowed to judge you for it.

Personally I would have swapped for the sake of a child. My partner is an adult and can survive a whole flight without me holding his hand.
You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings. The privilege is all yours. Own it.

WTF?

OP chose to pay extra to sit with her partner. Random woman chose not to pay extra to sit with her child. That was random women's decision, not OP's.

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lightisnotwhite · 18/04/2022 15:26

@TheAbbotOfUnreason

She wasn’t being unreasonable to ask.

You weren’t being unreasonable to refuse.

She was unreasonable to be grumpy about it.

This. Not everyone pays to sit together. I never pay but because my DH and O check in online early usually get seats together. I quite like sitting away from him because he insists on wearing stupid headphones and ignores me.
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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/04/2022 15:26

Was quite annoyed with my ex for not booking ahead when travelling with my 13 yo (and 8 yo). Meant the 13 yo had to sit with strangers, which she wasn’t comfortable with. He wasn’t rude enough to ask people to swap but I think he was wrong not to take into account her feelings and book.

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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/04/2022 15:27

I’d have swapped because I like the aisle but that’s me not you Grin

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PinkSparklyPussyCat · 18/04/2022 15:27

There's no way either of us would have moved. I don't suppose her or the daughter would have wanted me digging my fingers in arm on take off!

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LadyCordeliaFitzgerald · 18/04/2022 15:27

I would have (and often did) move seats to facilitate other passengers back in the days when it didn’t cost extra.

I’d consider moving if I was offered reimbursement.

In these circumstances I’d say no. Did she ask the people in front, sitting beside the child?

I don’t think she’s wrong to ask, and should take it up with the airline if it the “sitting together with your children” policy isn’t completely clear at booking.

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fluffiphlox · 18/04/2022 15:29

YANBU. I hate this sort of chancery.

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ChoiceMummy · 18/04/2022 15:29

Yanbu.

Equally I think that given this was a child that you should have been more amenable eve than if requesting the 22pounds.

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HELLITHURT · 18/04/2022 15:29

@GrazingSheep

She should have paid for seats.
This!
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newname12345 · 18/04/2022 15:31

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

She should have paid. Honestly people are so tight.
She possibly assumed that the airline had to seat her child next to her, and hence there was no need to pay (why spend money unnecessarily?). Unfortunately the airlines only need to seat a child near an adult (separated by no more than one seat row) rather than directly next to.
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Isgooglebroken · 18/04/2022 15:32

@LaurieFairyCake

Last time someone asked me this I said of course I would for the £40 I'd paid extra to sit together (loudly)

When she said 'why would I pay you for them' I said (again loudly) 'why would I give you £40 for free'

Lots of people smiling near me... Grin

I love this.
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Onlyforcake · 18/04/2022 15:32

YANBU. Her choice, her risk.

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Hont1986 · 18/04/2022 15:33

She offered to trade you two aisle seats for a window and a middle? I'd have bitten her hand off.

Still, if you didn't want to then no harm in refusing, and she should have accepted your no.

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