[Intro]
Your life is shit
Shit
Your life is bogus
Bull
Your life is trite
Cry
Your life is hell
Hell

[Chorus]
I'm gonna die
Start a new union
I'm going to die
With my libido
I'm gonna die
Start a new union
I'm going to die
Don't fuck with me

[Interlude]
Your life is shit
Shit
Your life is clean
It's clean
Your life is lame
Without some friends
Your life is stale, frail
Frail

[Chorus]
I'm going to die
Start a new union
I'm on a hill
Help my libido
I'm gonna die
Start a new union
I'm on a hill
Help my libido
I'm going to die
Start a new union
I'm on a hill
Help my libido
I'm going to die
Start a new union
I'm going to die
Watch the pain!

[Verse]
Your life is shit
I'm gonna open myself up a flea market
I'm gonna open up myself a flea market
And you're gonna wish that you did
Gonna retire on the profits
First off, I'm gonna empty out all of my Mrs. Butterworth jars
And I'm gonna put 'em on a shelf
With my eight-hundred dollar a month tax-free Century21 shop
And then I am going to put my Mrs. Butterworth syrup jars on the shelf
Next to all the commemorative fast food chain glasses and cups
I've accumulated over the past sixty-two years
Then I'm going to get some plywood
I'm going to get some plywood
And cut them up into two by two feet squares
Then I'm going to get some burlap
And I'm going to cut them into two by two feet squares
And then I'm going to put them onto the pieces of plywood
And then I'm going to go to the beach
I'm going to go to the beach
And I'm gonna collect some shells and driftwood
And then I'm going to take the shells and driftwood
And glue them onto the plywood and burlap
And sell 'em for lots of money
People will be paying top dollar
For my kids' new used new toys and clothing
Then maybe someday I can get rid of that piss-stained mattress
I've been sleeping on

[Chorus]
I'm gonna die
Start a new union
I'm on a hill
Help my libido
I'm gonna die
Start a new union
I'm gonna cry
Help my libido
I'm gonna die
Start a new union
I'm gonna die
Help my libido
I'm gonna die
Start a new union
I'm gonna die
Watch the pain!