Review: Icon of the Seas

Start out with the big picture—what is this cruise line known for?

Royal Caribbean may be second to Carnival in terms of company size, but they’ve got the competition beat with regard to ship size. While the two lines may be largely synonymous to general consumers, Royal Caribbean’s reputation for being on the cutting edge of cruising (a separate nine-month cruise from the company goes viral anew every day) is consistent with their success here. Icon’s status as the largest passenger vessel yet displaces Wonder of the Seas, another of Royal Caribbean’s fleet. If somebody had to do it, it was going to be them.

Tell us about the ship in general.

Icon of the Seas is a beast, with capacity for 5,610 passengers across 18 guest-accessible decks and 2,805 staterooms—that’s not counting the 2,350 crew members, one of whom tells me he lives “on deck zero.” Getting onboard feels like walking into a Disney amusement park, with reverent music heralding our arrival as we climb winding ramps and supply our documentation (in my case, a birth certificate-driver’s license combination in lieu of my lost passport—works perfectly well on a closed loop cruise). The Royal Promenade, the first of several vast walkways you’ll encounter aboard, looks and feels like Manhattan’s Oculus mall by way of Vegas (space for the winding line that will form at the Starbucks counter is amply allotted). The most striking feature of the Royal Promenade is The Pearl, a giant white orb consisting of glossy, undulating panels that contains a staircase to The Pearl café and the Promenade’s second level—here stand some spectacular floor-to-ceiling windows, and bountiful couches and side tables for taking in the sea beyond.

Other “neighborhoods”—eight enormous, open-air spaces on the ship—include: Surfside, presided over by the mayor Admiral Awesome and geared towards kids, more on that later; and Central Park, a big green space with trees and cafés and park benches and sporadic live music. There are four living walls crawling five decks high. As one crew member earnestly says, “it is so nice to be in nature.”

Who is onboard?

Everybody—retired couples, multigenerational families, children of all ages. Everyone is unabashedly joyful and ceaselessly smiling.

Describe the cabins.

I’m put up in a Central Park Balcony stateroom—what seems at first to be an interior sitting room transforms, when you lower the window slowly slowly slowly, into a balcony overlooking that aforementioned green space. This is a standard option amidst about a dozen, ranging from budget-friendly lower-deck rooms with single portholes for light to a penthouse suite with a private jacuzzi and grand piano—the former costs around $1,800 a voyage, the latter up to $100,000. My favorite rooms are allotted for families—a queen bed, bathroom, and balcony much like my own, but with a primary color-blocked set of bunk beds staggered behind the door.

Tell us about the crew.

The crew makes the ship—they are everywhere, they are always smiling, some of their jobs are to stand at the entrance of a food hall and tell you to wash your hands. Some of the people with these jobs do so while dressed as pieces of pizza and cartons of french fries. Something that I enjoy is that each crew member’s name tag also lists the country they are from next to said country’s flag, and as this is an international crowd it often feels like I’m in the United Nations by way of It’s a Small World.

What food and drink options are available on board?

There are 13 all-inclusive dining options—these include the vast, fast-casual cafeteria-style eateries, main dining room (where each party has an assigned table with a white tablecloth), and snackier spots like Sprinkles ice cream. People go crazy for grab-and-go options at The Pearl Café, where you can take away a parfait in a plastic cup without speaking to a soul—I actually overhear people remarking on this. The best meal I have on board, however, comes from specialty dining option—read: pay-to-play—Hooked Seafood. The branzino is fabulous.

Is there a spa on board and is it worth visiting?

The spa is massive, with traditional massage, facial, and salon offerings as well as more out-of-the-box adventures like IV infusions and a teeth whitening treatment that comes with a device you take home with you. I am surprised, perhaps naively, to learn that CoolSculpting is performed on the premises. A pass can be purchased for use of sauna and steam room facilities, and a health bar at the spa entrance blends up smoothies and protein shakes alongside heavy pours of champagne.

What about activities and entertainment?

Upon my return from the Icon of the Seas, I often described my experience as “relentlessly entertaining.” There is simply so much to do. In three days, I see an ice show with figure skating and a juggling contortionist, an aquatics show where supremely talented divers pantomime a love story to ‘80s pop-rock (during the day, you can also sit in the bleachers and watch them rehearse), a performance of The Wizard of Oz, and several karaoke performances from my fellow passengers. On the final night, I am swept up in a parade through the Royal Promenade, wherein all of the performers from the aforementioned productions join forces. Pirates dance to a parody of Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” (“No there ain’t no other way // I sail the seas everyday") before going to war with representatives from history’s great empires—Ottomans, the French, the US Air Force led by Maverick himself. This ends in a message for world peace, for we are all aboard the Icon of the Seas together.

There’s also the Chill and Thrill Islands, aptly named for their focuses on chilling and thrilling passengers, respectively. Chill Island has hot tubs and recliners, Thrill Island has the largest waterpark at sea. I make an enemy out of a lifeguard who informs me that the zipper on my swimsuit pocket makes me ineligible to slide. I spend time in the tub instead. I do not swim up to the swim-up bar, Swim and Tonic, because several other bars are more easily accessible. Crown’s Edge, sold as an obstacle course-style zip-lining adventure at the entry of Thrill Island, is disappointingly brief but does have me dangling eighteen-stories above the open ocean for a second or two. Somebody in my group cries.

The places I most enjoy spending my time are the casino, where you can smoke, and the fitness center, which is gorgeous and, thanks to its position at the front of the ship, has amazing views. A true highlight is the track that loops the ship (you hit one mile after 2.4 laps), where you can during your jog inspect the plentiful and sturdy lifeboats and gaze out at the open sea.

How was the experience for families?

There is a whole other world aboard the Icon of the Seas built for children, one that I only get glimpses of as a childless adult. The Surfside neighborhood, with its ice cream stands, shallow pools, and merry-go-round is built expressly for children, with face painters and balloon animal artists on hand daily and a puppet show to round out the evenings. I spend a good amount of time in the arcade. Included in the far as well is Adventure Ocean, a childcare facility for kids aged six to 12. Also on board is a golden retriever named Rover, who is mobbed by adults whenever he appears in a hallway on his way from one place to the next. The one time I see him, his keeper whisks him away before I can get a good picture, which I appreciate. He is truly for the children.

Where did it sail and how were the excursions? Did anything stand out?

Our brief three-day itinerary took us from Miami to Royal Caribbean’s private island Perfect Day at Coco Cay and back. We got off of one waterpark and entered another. For the next year, the ship will run seven-day closed loops from Miami in both the Eastern and Western Caribbean, all stopping at Perfect Day at Coco Cay.

Are there any stand out sustainability or green initiatives about this cruise?

Royal Caribbean heralds this ship for setting a new standard across the cruise industry for its water and waste management programs—93% of fresh water is produced on board via reverse osmosis, crew members sort trash for recycling, and so on.

Anything we missed?

Sitting in one of the ship’s myriad bars and talking to strangers is one of the most interesting, and often lovely, things a person can do on board.

Finally, give a sentence or two on why the cruise is worth booking.

This cruise is for anyone who appreciates spectacle, and especially for travelers who want a hands-off planning experience—everything, truly everything, will be served to you on a platter.