Dear GQ Doc, Is being a man in 2018 still bad for my health? via email
At the dawn of the twentieth century, the idea of masculinity was simple – it stood for all the solid, earthy expectations of boys and men: strength, independence, courage, confidence and assertiveness. And that was an easy package at a time when men were the sole breadwinners, working largely in manual labour, while women would tend to the home and children. That was man’s personal and social identity, the hallmarks of what “real men” do. Paradoxically, and to no surprise, more (historically referred) effeminate traits, such as showing emotion, did not match the optics of masculinity and were therefore actively discouraged.
And that in part is why men’s health suffered. The vices of life were, after all, what made men “real men” in the eyes of a society yet to wake up to this self-constructed PR problem. They drank far more alcohol than women, red meat was eaten by the cowshed, and unprotected sex with multiple partners was a numbers game. Masculinity demanded these. The prize? Higher rates of cardiovascular disease, including heart attack and stroke, not to mention having genitalia riddled with any number of sexually transmitted diseases. Another badge of honour.
But then came a change. From the Thirties onwards, the UK lost its industrialisation heavyweight status with manual worker jobs, and the masculinity status attached to them, in favour of an office-based deindustrialised economy. Naturally, Post-it notes, group huddle meetings and conference calls failed to marry to the historical notion of what masculinity should be (the “Wolf Of Wall Street” was the higher-profile attempt to hang on to these). It was, however, a wake-up call to society that things needed to change. And change is happening.
You see, masculinity, while, yes, housing some admirable traits, is an incomplete human package. Any boy or man who feels that they cannot showcase their emotions or, indeed, a gentleness, is one who needs re-education on what it is to be a man. Showing your softer side is not weakness or shameful. It is smart. Besides, paradoxically, the very qualities that an outdated "masculinity" parades (strength, independence, courage, confidence and assertiveness) are present in all of us – men and women. We now thankfully share a society where not only men, but women too, demonstrate these and importantly have the freedom to do so. Of course, it isn’t all a bed of roses, and while we still have some way to redress an imbalance of what is deemed acceptable traits for men and women, we are making progress. Masculinity is an outdated word for this, a new world that is attempting to dispel gender equality.
For our health, this is key. Positively men are now more attuned with self-care than ever before and actively striving for it. Yet we still have a way to go, with men between the ages of 16 and 60 on average consulting their doctors less than women. Crucially, we still need to see change in men’s relationship with their mental health. Suicide remains the leading cause of death in men under the age of 45 years. That’s three times higher than rates in women, with 84 men losing their life a week. And in part it is justifiably dubbed the “silent killer” because we are yet to fully shift the perception that a man – a “masculine man”, a “real man”, a “man’s man” – does not speak out about his problems. We can all do our part and take a sledgehammer to masculinity and instead let both the hard traits and the soft traits have open forum in our lives and in society. That can only support better health and happiness.
Dr Nick Knight is a GP. Follow him on Instagram @dr.nickknight
