Your coachee is struggling with change. How can you help them uncover the root cause of their resistance?

Hitch up your spelunking gear, coach! Time to explore the resistance cave. Here's how to unearth the root cause: Open-Ended Excavation: Ask powerful questions that go beyond "why" to uncover deeper fears or anxieties. Shine a Light: Use storytelling or analogies to help them see their resistance from a new perspective. Comfort the Creature: Validate their emotions. Change can be scary, even for the bravest explorers! Remember, resistance is a sign, not a stop sign. Now, go forth and guide your coachee through the resistance cave like a sherpa with a map and a motivational mantra. (Bonus points if your mantra rhymes!)

Building trust and relationship is important in a coaching relationship, for our coachee is sharing some personal matters that may not be shared with others. If they can't share with their close friends or family, what about sharing with a stranger? Hence, we must make time and space for the trust to grow slowly. Sharing personal stories and challenges, where appropriate, is a way to build that trust. We are showing that I trust my coachee by sharing some matters that are relevant and useful for them and showing my own growth journey over time.

Every coaching relationship starts with trust. Below are three fundamental ways a coach can build trust with their clients: 1. Being our authentic self—When we are true to who we are, the possibility of a genuine connection emerges. The client relaxes, sees that it's okay to be themselves, and can start to open up. 2. Shared experiences—As an immigrant and a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I find it much easier to connect with and build trustful relationships with clients who have similar experiences. 3. Being compassionate—When we see our clients through the lens of compassion, we create a space free of judgments, no matter what they bring up.

When a coachee struggles with change, identifying their fears is essential. Start by creating a safe, non-judgmental space for open conversation. Ask gentle, probing questions to help them explore their concerns and anxieties about the change. Listen actively and empathize with their feelings. Encourage them to express their fears openly. Often, fears are rooted in past experiences or the fear of the unknown. Once these fears are identified, work together to develop strategies to address and overcome them, building their confidence and resilience in facing change.

Our worries and fears often stop us from moving forward in life. Our brains protect us from danger by creating self-limiting dialogues to prevent us from harm. It's worth remembering that this is how we were evolutionarily built and how we survived as a species. Whenever we do something for the first time and step out of our comfort zone, there will always be negative thoughts and predictions of failure. Our role as coaches is to support clients in observing their worries and uncovering what their fears are based on. This observation helps our clients recognize that the outcome of their actions is unknown, that it’s not necessarily as harmful as they imagine, and that what they worry about is merely a projection of the outcome.

It's normal to feel resistance to change. Our minds are "designed" to keep us safe and protect us. Therefore every new goal and challenge can make us feel very uncomfortable and fill us with fear. When the coachee resists change, they are afraid of the unknown which is normal. A coach can help the coachee to get aware of the beliefs deep inside that are holding them back and that are causing discomfort and struggle. Our beliefs create our reality. When the coachee adopts new beliefs that are in alignment with the desired goals, they will face change with much more ease. Our beliefs are so powerful. Change your beliefs- change your life!

When a coachee struggles with change, it's crucial to challenge their limiting beliefs. Start by understanding their current mindset and the beliefs holding them back. Ask questions that encourage them to reflect on why they hold these beliefs and if they are based on facts or assumptions. Gently challenge these beliefs by presenting alternative perspectives and positive outcomes. Share stories or examples of others who overcame similar challenges. This helps them see new possibilities and shift their mindset. Support them in building new, empowering beliefs that align with their goals and foster a growth mindset.

Pode existir uma crença limitante, é uma possibilidade. Faça um enquadramento de crenças e ressignificação do padrão de pensamento. Ele as vezes vai colocar uma crença parecia no centro, continue enquadrando até ele não ter mais o que falar. Pergunte, o que ele vai conseguir se manter o padrão de pensamento e o que ele já ganhou com isso.

We all have certain beliefs, especially if we come from an immigration background or are members of the LGBTQ+ community. We grow up and build many protective mechanisms, and if we haven't had a chance to revisit them as adults, they can start to get in the way of a fulfilling life. It prevents us from being authentic, but we don't know what it is because we have never looked into it. Coaching provides a supportive space to slow down and closely examine our beliefs and conclusions about the world and ourselves to identify what is in the way of moving forward. When we finally discover these conclusions, we can create new ones that open up a space of new possibilities.

SMART goals setting is an often-used tool for helping our clients overcome their lack of inertia and achieve their goals. However, having 5 criteria to hit may be overwhelming for some people starting out. If that's the case, I would encourage clients to pick one of the 5 things - Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, or Time-bound, and explore more of the challenges they have with it. Maybe a goal is too big and not attainable in the time they had envisioned, so we may need to work on right-sizing their goal to be more attainable first.

When our clients start coaching, they are excited to set goals and begin producing results. What I find very important, especially at the start of a coaching relationship, is to dive into the intentions beneath their goals. Our life intentions are the areas where we want to make a difference in our lives, the lives of people around us, and the world. When we connect to those intentions, we experience a sense of meaning, and our lives become filled with energy because this truly resonates with us. Once we identify those areas, the next step is to support our clients in setting manageable goals closely connected to their intentions. This way, even if they start feeling discouraged about making progress, they can reconnect with their "WHYs."

I like exploring with my clients what may be the ONE, TINIEST thing they are confident to do. What we want to do is to generate action and start the chain of steps and changes. There always the tiniest thing we can do ALONE TODAY to move forward to our goal.

Celebrating successes, no matter how small, is important in a coaching relationship. Of course, what is small may be different for each individual client; you have to decide on your client's end goals. Coachees and even coaches may have big goals, and we need to recognize and narrow the gap between what we have to offer, what clients can achieve, and what the sweet spot between the two lies. It is important to push our clients to greater heights; that's why they hire us! However, our clients may have other circumstances to explore to better fit their expectations.

Help your coachee examine their past experiences with change. Encourage them to identify patterns in how they have responded to previous changes in their life. This exploration can reveal insights into why they may be resisting change now. Understanding these patterns can help them recognize and address the root causes of their current resistance.

Quando o "coachee está lutando com a mudança", eu faço uma conversa de Ponto de Checagem. Nessa reunião eu faço perguntas que provocam a percepção sobre si mesmo, sobre o que estamos construindo, conquistando e para avaliarmos o cenário atual e futuro. Dessa maneira consigo perceber os pontos ou crenças limitantes que podem estar "travando" e causando resistências as mudanças no coachee. A partir disso, traçamos um plano de ação, superação e mudança de mentalidade para continuarmos avançando rumo a conquista do objetivo. Coaching é troca, é olho no olho, é empático e intencional. É abrir um espaço seguro de troca, para que todos se mostrem verdadeiramente e assim façam os acertos que causarão a transformação e progresso desejado.

Tenha certeza de que está no caminho certo e que está atendendo a META que o cliente te trouxe. Um conflito pode existir se isso não tiver bem alinhado, ele pode sair insatisfeito. Reanalize o processo todo. Boa sorte!