Here's how you can build assertiveness and confidence in networking and relationship-building.

En un mundo globalizado, cada día más exigente, dinámico, competitivo y exigente; requiere de profesionales con mayor criterio, formación, seguridad y multiplex habilidades blandas exigidas para abrir, plantear y desarrollar relaciones más genuinas que generen confianza. Para que todo profesional en cada campo y disciplina logre esta conectividad transparente deberá apoyarse y dirigirse con una comunicación asertiva; esto significa con total honestidad, respeto, claridad y empatía y así consolidar relaciones de confianza, las cuales le abrirán las puertas de las oportunidades y los resultados eficientes.

Before choosing a networking event, map out the possible events you could attend this year, target outcomes, who needs to be convinced/engaged to achieve those outcomes, and other factors such as cost, scheduling conflicts, format. Regular review and planning quarterly or 2x per year is helpful. Capture input from colleagues , team on past year's experiences, peruse attendee lists to prioritize pre-event outreach (e.g. 1-2 weeks prior, ideally), and map top events to top intended outcomes, with a focus on who attends over topics if networking is the goal vs. industry knowledge. Appreciate that an event may only be where Phase 1 or Phase 2 of a partnership discussion starts, and map how this fits your targets.

While the event was chosen, prepare in advance by looking at companies and people you want to talk to. Get intel about their company activities and interests. Consider finding a picture of a key contact to help identify them during the busy event. Create a memorable point. In many network events, most people are busy and prefer shorter, quality conversations rather than connecting with a large number of people superficially. Learning in advance and talking about the person's interests from their social media (if publicly available) might help with conversations and create a lasting impression.

Most of the people that I coach are not initially comfortable with networking, but it's an acquired skill. What I mean by that is if you're able to go beyond your comfort and take networking for a test drive, you'll find that you'll get better at it. But always start with allies - the people you're most comfortable with. That will give you a platform to test drive your pitch.

In my experience I've learned to not always expect help from those put there to help. It's crucial to actively seek and nurture genuine connections through intentional participation. While networking is often seen as transactional, true networking builds meaningful relationships that foster mutual growth. As a Black woman in professional spaces, I value authentic connections. Networking events offer opportunities to meet collaborators aligned with your goals. Active listening and sharing your story highlight your unique contributions and reinforce diversity. Building genuine connections requires ongoing engagement, so seek opportunities that empower these possibilities.

Practice, but don't over practice in a bubble...it is hard to be genuine when you have rehearsed the 'perfect' pitch a million times- especially too close to actual message delivery. Cramming didn't work in school (for many things!), and it won't work in most contexts now. If you want to be genuine and authentic, remind yourself why you are there, why it matters and to whom, and relax. This is particularly relevant for introverts and those inclined to dominate conversation, including if out of nervousness or language barriers for non-native speakers. The best practice can be practicing your introduction in more casual real-life networking or meeting situations before the 'most important' and serious meetings, events.

I once attended a networking event where I felt a bit out of my depth. Despite my nerves, I decided to focus on my body language. I stood tall, made eye contact, and smiled warmly at everyone I met. To my surprise, people responded positively and engaged in conversation more readily. One person even remarked how confident I seemed, which boosted my self-esteem even more. This experience taught me that body language plays a significant role in how we are perceived and how we feel about ourselves. Sometimes, simply adjusting our posture and maintaining eye contact can make all the difference in building connections.

Be cautious to not confuse networking for 'walking up to a stranger and giving them an immediate and lengthy pitch.' Networking and partnership building is a 2-way interaction, and I find you learn far more about fit if you defer to the person you are approaching to ask what they do, why they are at an event, part of a given community and hoping to get out of it. Make an effort to genuinely listen and avoid cutting off your counterpart mid-sentence. You may miss the potential alignment, and point of the interaction.

Be realistic. You cannot follow up or remember everyone you meet. You must manage your time. 1) Many want to connect via Linkedin after a good conversation at an event; it is hard to then trace everyone you've connected with after. Jot down the top 5-10 names that are priority, points on the conversation/ potential relevance immediately. Use the system that works best for you. Handwriting seals your memory better, but digital is more traceable and easy to pass to an assistant. 2) Aim to follow up with salient specifics, not 'nice to meet.' If there is no clear 'why' to stay connected, a single or multiple follow up emails may get lost in the email abyss. 3) Don't assume people will follow-up with you; get their email, take the lead.

Get excited about sharing what you know! Do everything you can to support the success of others. Build a legacy of being helpful. When you focus on supporting others, you'll feel more confident and assertive in networking and building relationships because you've shifted your focus from yourself to finding people who need what you have to offer. To increase your networking confidence, consider how much you can share that will matter to them instead of worrying about what people think of you if you're less than as successful as you'd like. The more you focus on sharing with people open to it, the more confident you'll become.

3 important keys: 1. Authenticity - Be yourself 2. Service: Think about how you can serve the person in front of you.How can you help them in what they do? 3. Genuine connection: It's not about pushing your card, your service and walking away if they are not a fgood fit. Its about genuine connection and relationships with people even if they are not in your business.