How do you balance assertiveness and empathy in a negotiation?

When entering negotiations I prefer to research the people, place, and product/service involved first. Obviously, I use LinkedIn to review and connect with everyone in the meeting. Then I map out the location and how long it takes to get there so I can make sure I'm on time. Then I research the product or service starting with understanding the price range, quality, speed, and value in relation to the average price. These tactics help to set guard rails for the negotiation. Once, I'm in the meeting I'm able to establish the box I'm willing to play in with information to support my reasoning. Pro Tip: Depending on the severity of the meeting I might even visit the location beforehand to get to know the host and bartenders.

A very easy trick for active listening is to take notes during the conversation. Notes make it easy to reflect on the heart of the subject and repeat back what has been said driving connection. It's also easy to get confused when many parties are speaking on various matters. Taking notes will help to keep things organized and track individual emotions towards the negotiation. Pro Tip: Use key words to form an index in the back on your note book so you can easily refer back to meeting notes.

When asking for what you want or challenging someone, it’s best to use first-person (I) statements. Keep the discussion focused on the issue rather than the person to reduce defensiveness & bring you closer to actually resolving the conflict rather than resorting to personal criticisms. Maintaining your emotions during these conversations can be difficult. Rehearse the conversation to ensure a clear message and tone. We can't control others, so be prepared, patient, and accepting of both positive and negative feedback. Start the discussion in good faith, with a positive and confident attitude. Be direct, open, and honest. Show respect for their feelings and needs and look for mutually beneficial solutions to build strong relationships.

In my experience, I aim to employ the sandwich approach where I start with a compliment about their success, share my main points or concern of mutual interest, and end with a compliment that unites us in agreement. Pro Tip: When communicating in writing avoid starting sentences with I.

Have a side-by-side conversation vs face-to-face confrontation mindset to boost your confidence and empathy. Before negotiations 🔹List all your needs/wants and your whys 🔹Note emotional triggers & practice refocusing to manage your emotions during talks 🔹List THEIR needs and wants & plan potential win-win options During negotiations 🔸Use active listening 🔸Built trust by focusing on their needs 🔸Ask open-ended questions to find commonalities 🔸Use those to walk them up the ‘yes ladder’ 🔸End an ask with 'because' to trigger receptivity 🔸Built credibility through word/action consistency 🔸Be you, be bold, be brave Remember -if things don't work in your favor, you can still have a win by becoming a member of their network.