How do you facilitate a respectful and collaborative dialogue among conflicting parties?

Conflict is inevitable in any workplace, but it can also be a source of learning and innovation if handled well. As a people manager, you have a key role in facilitating a respectful and collaborative dialogue among conflicting parties, whether they are your direct reports, peers, or stakeholders. In this article, you will learn some practical tips and techniques to help you manage conflict effectively and constructively.

1 Identify the source and level of conflict

Before you intervene in a conflict situation, you need to understand what is causing it and how serious it is. Conflict can arise from different sources, such as personality clashes, miscommunication, divergent interests, or competing goals. It can also escalate from a simple disagreement to a heated argument or a personal attack. To assess the source and level of conflict, you can use tools such as the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument or the Conflict Dynamics Profile, or simply observe and listen to the parties involved.

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Kadir Khan

Program Manager @Wipro Technologies Ltd. UK with over 17yrs of Exp in IT.
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One thing I find particularly helpful is speaking to the involved parties one on one to get their version of the conflict, reason and what they think could have been done better. Listen and make detailed notes, don’t agree or disagree just listen. This helps not only understand the issue but also underlying sentiment that is driving the conflict and helping in identifying where the differences are arising from.

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2 Choose an appropriate intervention strategy

Depending on the source and level of conflict, you may need to adopt different intervention strategies to facilitate a dialogue. For example, if the conflict is caused by miscommunication, you may need to clarify the facts and expectations, or use active listening and paraphrasing skills. If the conflict is caused by divergent interests or goals, you may need to negotiate a win-win solution, or use a third-party mediator or arbitrator. If the conflict is caused by personality clashes or personal attacks, you may need to address the emotions and behaviors, or use a conflict coaching or counseling approach.

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3 Establish ground rules and goals

Before you start the dialogue, you need to set some ground rules and goals with the parties involved. Ground rules are the norms and expectations that guide the behavior and communication of the participants, such as respecting each other, listening attentively, avoiding interruptions, or using constructive feedback. Goals are the desired outcomes and actions that the parties want to achieve from the dialogue, such as resolving the issue, improving the relationship, or learning from the experience. By establishing ground rules and goals, you can create a safe and positive environment for the dialogue.

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4 Facilitate the dialogue process

As a facilitator, your role is to guide the dialogue process and help the parties communicate effectively and respectfully. You can use various techniques to facilitate the dialogue, such as asking open-ended questions, summarizing key points, reframing negative statements, acknowledging emotions, validating perspectives, encouraging empathy, brainstorming solutions, or testing assumptions. You should also monitor the dialogue process and intervene when necessary, such as managing time, resolving impasses, or dealing with resistance.

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Will Train
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In my experience, it's best to set out how the dialogue should proceed with all parties at the start of any mediation. Having met all parties individually and heard their concerns, focus on the impacts of the conflict (consequences, emotional impacts etc.) rather than have parties restating what happened which can repeat the previous conflict and make mediation harder. Give each party a turn to speak uninterrupted, focusing on what impact the conflict had on them/their work and what resolution they would like to see to avoid recurrence in future. As the moderator, identify and draw out positive, achievable resolutions and get the agreement of all parties for these to be upheld. Set a date for following up with each party and stick to it.

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5 Evaluate the dialogue outcome

After the dialogue, you need to evaluate the outcome and follow up with the parties involved. You can use various methods to evaluate the outcome, such as asking for feedback, measuring progress, or reviewing action plans. You should also follow up with the parties to ensure that they are satisfied with the outcome, that they are implementing the agreed actions, or that they are maintaining the relationship. By evaluating and following up, you can ensure that the dialogue is effective and sustainable.

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6 Develop your conflict management skills

Finally, you need to develop your own conflict management skills as a people manager. Conflict management is not a one-time event, but a continuous learning process. You can improve your skills by reflecting on your own conflict style, seeking feedback from others, attending training or coaching sessions, or reading books or articles on conflict management. By developing your skills, you can become a more confident and competent facilitator of respectful and collaborative dialogue among conflicting parties.

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Kelvin Abraham

A Film Exhibition and Post Production Professional with over 10 years experience building key relationships and managing accounts
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In my experience, I’ve found honing conflict resolution skills has proven beneficial in the work place. Many times, execs, team members, and other peers have different personalities and backgrounds that make how they process situations and communicate very different. We must learn to effectively communicate with others that we have the same goal, with a slightly different approach. This will lighten the energy so that both parties do not feel like they are on opposing sides. Instead they are now two individuals in search of the best practice. We must keep our cool and remember the one who effectively listens, will likely be most heard!

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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How do you facilitate a respectful and collaborative dialogue among conflicting parties?

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1 Identify the source and level of conflict

2 Choose an appropriate intervention strategy

3 Establish ground rules and goals

4 Facilitate the dialogue process

5 Evaluate the dialogue outcome

6 Develop your conflict management skills

7 Here’s what else to consider

People Management

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How do you facilitate a respectful and collaborative dialogue among conflicting parties?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Identify the source and level of conflict

2 Choose an appropriate intervention strategy

3 Establish ground rules and goals

4 Facilitate the dialogue process

5 Evaluate the dialogue outcome

6 Develop your conflict management skills

7 Here’s what else to consider

People Management

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