You're coaching senior executives through conflicts. How do you guide them to consensus?

Advising senior executives through conflicts requires having a full understanding of their constraints and the non-negotiables. Ask the 5 Whys to drill down to WHY they go to the point of conflict they are in. Through a thorough root-cause analysis, guide them to identify areas that could have been handled better, or areas they could have stayed out of for similar impact without losing credibility. Allowing others to first attempt to resolve their differences with respect is important for maintaining autonomy. Maintaining respect it crucial even when there is impasse. With key stakeholders it remains imperative to keep their interests in mind. Always explore what is possible to give up to move progressively forward. Negotiate masterfully.

To guide senior executives through conflicts and towards consensus, I facilitate open and honest communication by encouraging all parties to express their perspectives while ensuring a respectful dialogue. I help them identify common goals and shared values that transcend individual interests, fostering a collaborative mindset. By employing active listening techniques, I ensure that each executive feels heard, and I encourage them to explore creative solutions that integrate differing viewpoints. I also emphasize the importance of compromise and flexibility, while keeping the organization's overarching objectives in focus, ultimately driving them toward a mutually beneficial resolution.

Coaching senior execs through conflict is like steering a ship through rough seas—if everyone’s rowing in different directions, you’ll sink. I recall a time when two executives were at odds over a major strategic decision. Instead of mediating the dispute directly, I dug deeper—unearthing their core motivations. We shifted the conversation from ‘winning’ to aligning on shared goals. With empathy and active listening, they found common ground, leading to a solution that satisfied both. The real key? Guiding them to focus on the bigger picture rather than individual positions.

Trust building plays a vital role in conflict resolution as it: - Establishes credibility and reliability among parties - Encourages open and honest communication - Fosters a sense of safety and security - Promotes active listening and empathy - Facilitates collaborative problem-solving - Enhances creativity and flexibility in finding solutions - Reduces defensiveness and increases receptivity to compromise By building trust, parties can shift from adversarial to cooperative approaches, leading to more effective and sustainable conflict resolution. Trust building involves consistent behavior, transparency, and follow-through on commitments, creating an environment conducive to constructive dialogue and mutually beneficial outcomes.

Building trust is essential for fostering mutual understanding and collaborative problem-solving among executives. The key is to create an environment where leaders focus on shared goals and interests, not on defending their positions. Skilled facilitation, combined with patience, is the key to helping executives move beyond their differences and find common ground. By emphasizing open communication and teamwork, you can get even strong-willed individuals to align on collective objectives. This approach resolves conflicts and strengthens relationships, ensuring long-term success for the organization.

Trust is important, but there must first be justification and rationality for an agreement and solution to the issue. Trust and empathy do not just happen naturally. We need to reaffirm everyone's direction for reaching an agreement on the dispute.

Trust could be a hard ask because of the baggage executives bring to the table in a team scenario. I've done sessions where we air out past conflicts that led to zero trust, and other times where we agree to a blank slate moving forward.

When 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗲𝗰𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝘂𝘀, here are my top three suggestions: a) 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆: Understanding the underlying concerns and emotions can often reveal common ground and facilitate a path toward consensus. b) 𝗙𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗚𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗢𝗯𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀: By reminding everyone of the bigger picture and the overarching mission, it becomes easier to prioritize the collective success over individual positions. c) 𝗙𝗮𝗰𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗗𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲: This involves guiding the conversation away from personal attacks and towards collaborative problem-solving.

According to a report from McKinsey, companies that use structured dialogues to resolve conflicts are 2.5 times more likely to achieve effective, sustainable solutions. The role of the coach here is to guide the discussion, ensure all voices are heard, and focus the group on finding common ground and shared goals. As a personal experience -- during a coaching engagement with a group of senior leaders in a retail organization, I facilitated dialogues around conflicting strategies for market expansion. By guiding the conversation to center around shared goals—such as increased customer satisfaction and brand loyalty—we found common ground that allowed the team to agree on a unified strategy.

Bring the executives together and establish ground rules for productive dialogue. These should include active listening, focusing on issues rather than personalities, and seeking to understand before being understood.

The most important prerequisite of effectively dealing with conflicts is the courage to have difficult conversations. This in turn results in a dialogue where not only we give respect to others' view points but also engage in mindful listening so that everyone feels heard, understood and valued. This becomes the cornerstone of free exchange of views and opinions based on data, experiences and analysis. It is through such open minded dialogues that it is more likely for a consensus to emerge. Even if this does not happen, all participants still feel validated as their views have been discussed and debated. At this stage, irrespective of the final decision, everyone is committed to implementing it. A totally new solution may also emerge.

To help senior executives facilitate dialogue, guide them to explore the core of their conflict by encouraging them to see the issue from multiple perspectives. Have them identify and articulate the unmet needs driving the tension. Once those needs are recognized, ask what resources or actions could address these needs. This encourages a shift from defensive positions to collaborative problem-solving, fostering mutual understanding and consensus.

Sometimes, Leaders confuse empathy with merely uttering out - I see or I can understand where you are coming from! In addition to trying to be in other person's shoes, Empathy is also about Intentional Listening, processing it to understand the reason behind that viewpoint, and the being OK with a contradictory or opposing view. Many a times, we empathize only in the beginning of a conversation but the empathy disappears if the other person continues to hold on their views / decision, even if they do not have the last word.

One approach I’ve found useful is to state that everyone’s opinion is valid and valued. This helps diffuse tension and opens the door to encourage empathy and appreciation of the other’s perspective. Further, it changes the tone of conversation to a positive tone and can be channeled to identifying mutual interests and/or goals.

There have been many instances where I faced the challenge of navigating conflicts. To achieve consensus, we need to follow a structured process: 1. Encourage open dialogue, active listening, and empathy. 2. Deliberate on facts/evidence. 3. Foster a culture of transparency, trust, and respect. 4. Identify and challenge assumptions, biases, and agendas. 5. Focus on shared goals, values, and the organization's best interests. 6. Explore creative solutions, compromise, and collaboration. 7. Evaluate Pros and Cons of each. Consensus decision be taken despite recognizing the risks in view of favourable risk benefit assessment. With this we can transform conflicts to learning opportunity and decide the best way forward in any situation.

Stating observations is better than generalizations. I suggest the 4-point prevent conflict technique: 1) state what you see/hear 2) put the spotlight on you, not them by stating how that makes you feel (using a hand gesture pointed toward yourself helps) 3) ask if they are willing to hear you out. If you get a "no", definitely stop. 4) suggest an observable change and ask how it resonates with them.

Guide executives to identify shared goals and interests, even if they differ on methods to achieve them. Establish a foundation for collaboration by doing so. Use brainstorming to foster creative solutions that integrate diverse perspectives. Encourage them to build on each other's ideas rather than dismiss them. When factual disagreements remain, introduce objective data to shift the focus from opinions to evidence. Seek opportunities to merge viewpoints into integrated solutions incorporating elements from various positions. If full agreement isn't possible, aim for a compromise that all can accept and commit to supporting, even if it's not ideal for everyone.

To guide the senior executive through conflicts, focus on helping them identify the underlying needs of each party involved. Encourage them to personify these needs, acknowledging the emotions or concerns that drive the conflict. Once these are clearly understood, invite the executive to explore different ways to address those needs—without assuming consensus is the only goal. The objective is to create space for multiple perspectives and solutions to emerge, which can lead to a resolution that honors both sides.

I find there are generally 2 types of thinking that impact the ability to explore options; convergent and divergent. Convergent are analytical and problem solvers, they think of the best options fast and that is valuable. Divergent are creative and have lots of ideas, many of which may not work, but maybe a few wild ones that do. Giving value to both help executives define what is important and build a vision to achieve it.

To guide senior executives to consensus during conflicts, focus on exploring options throughout the process. Encourage a brainstorming approach where all parties can contribute potential solutions without judgment. Facilitate discussions that consider various alternatives, weighing their potential impact on each stakeholder. By actively exploring different options, you help executives see the range of possibilities and identify common ground. This collaborative exploration not only generates creative solutions but also involves all parties in shaping the resolution, increasing buy-in and making it easier to reach a consensus.

Encourage a brainstorming session where all possible solutions are explored without judgment. Evaluate each option based on its feasibility, impact, and alignment with the organization’s goals. By considering a range of solutions, executives can identify the most effective approach to resolving the conflict and achieving a consensus.

Once consensus is reached, the next step is to clearly document the agreements and action steps. Get executives to commit verbally to the path forward. Schedule follow-up check-ins to guarantee the implementation of the consensus and address any new issues that arise.

Once a consensus is reached, help executives outline specific, actionable steps to implement the agreed-upon solution. Define clear responsibilities and deadlines to ensure accountability. A commitment to action translates consensus into tangible results, reinforcing the effectiveness of the resolution process.

To guide the executive to consensus, focus on helping them recognize the underlying needs or concerns driving the conflict. Encourage them to "nourish" these concerns by addressing them constructively. The goal is not necessarily to force agreement, but to create space for mutual understanding. To foster commitment to action, ask them to identify what is truly needed to resolve the situation and then explore how they can provide the necessary resources. This leads to clarity and allows them to take ownership of the next steps, creating a path for actionable solutions.