You’re struggling to connect with your boss. How can you get your needs met?

1 Identify your expectations

The first step is to clarify what you expect from your boss and what your boss expects from you. You may have different perspectives, styles, or priorities that create misunderstandings or conflicts. Try to have an open and honest conversation with your boss about your roles, responsibilities, and expectations. Use specific examples and evidence to explain your points and listen to your boss's feedback. Try to find common ground and agree on realistic and measurable outcomes.

3 Seek feedback and support

The third step is to seek feedback and support from your boss and show that you value their expertise and guidance. You may have different levels of confidence, competence, or autonomy in your work. Try to ask for constructive feedback and suggestions from your boss on how to improve your performance and skills. Be open to learning from your boss and apply their feedback to your work. Also, ask for support from your boss when you need it, such as resources, information, or advocacy. Show appreciation and gratitude for your boss's help and recognition.

4 Manage conflict and emotions

The fourth step is to manage conflict and emotions that may arise from your interaction with your boss. You may have different opinions, values, or personalities that clash or cause tension. Try to address conflict and emotions in a professional and respectful way. Use assertive communication and active listening skills to express your views and feelings and understand your boss's perspective. Avoid personal attacks, accusations, or defensiveness. Focus on the issues and the solutions, not the people or the blame. Seek mediation or assistance from a third party if needed.

5 Build trust and rapport

The fifth step is to build trust and rapport with your boss and show that you are a reliable and collaborative partner. You may have different interests, backgrounds, or goals that affect your relationship. Try to find commonalities and areas of mutual interest with your boss and engage in positive and informal interactions. For example, you can share some personal stories, hobbies, or experiences with your boss or invite them to join a social or professional event. Show respect and appreciation for your boss's work and achievements and acknowledge their contributions and strengths.

6 Set boundaries and self-care

The sixth step is to set boundaries and self-care for yourself and protect your well-being and balance. You may have different workloads, pressures, or demands that affect your health and happiness. Try to establish clear and reasonable boundaries with your boss and communicate them assertively. For example, you can negotiate your work hours, deadlines, or tasks and say no to unreasonable or unrealistic requests. Also, practice self-care and take care of your physical, mental, and emotional health. For example, you can exercise, meditate, or relax regularly and seek support from your friends, family, or colleagues.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?