Neurospicy Parenting’s Post

This morning, we’re off to a funeral, which got me thinking about how we approach difficult conversations with neurodivergent children and teenagers. In my experience, it’s so important to give straight, honest answers—especially to the tough questions. My rule at home has always been: if my daughter asks a direct question, I give a direct answer. This is particularly important for neurospicy kids. They need clear, succinct explanations in plain language. Euphemisms or vague answers only add confusion. If they ask, "What happens to a dead body?" Then give them the facts, no dancing around the subject. (Obviously keep it age appropriate though!!) At the same time, I make sure to explain context—like how some questions might not be appropriate to ask a grieving person at that moment. It’s about balancing honesty with empathy and helping them understand social cues as well. Tackling tricky subjects head-on helps build trust and gives them a solid foundation for processing the world around them.

🇬🇧🇵🇱On the sofa with a psychotherapist” Listen to our monthly discussions about relationships with Ela Senghera We are both therapists, enterpreneurs and mums, so we can imagine the struggle you are going through. Trying to maintain professional and love life balance is very often a huge challenge to many of us. There is not enough teaching in this area! Neither family of orygin nor school nor people around us provided us with the examples of how healthy, secure relationships should look like, how to form them. Adding emotional wounds, relational traumas, lack of basic relational skills like loving communication and you are set up for a failure. That’s why I have created Love Academy and help couples and singles heal relational wounds, create secure, fulfilling bonds and teach how to communicate with love. I am also cooperating with other experts to spread this awareness and knowledge as much as possible because having secure bonds is the most important need in human life. The quality of you relationships determines the quality of your life. Let’s learn how to love together ❤️ Hence the monthly discussion with Ela project! And when the two therapists, action oriented, hard working women meet there is a spark, ideas are buzzing and reality is changing. There is a chance to create sisterhood connection for us and our amazing, craving meaningful relationships community.

I recently observed a rather awkward conversation whereby a friend was asked on more than one occasion when they were going to have children. There are so many reasons why these sorts of remarks about first or subsequent children could be inappropriate: -     The couple may not want to have children. -     The couple may be struggling to conceive or have been told that they cannot have children at all. -     The couple may have just recently lost a baby – after all 1 in 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage However well meaning your comment may be and whether it be in a social or professional setting, it is perhaps wise to think first, as unless the person you are asking is a very close friend, you most likely have no idea about that person’s situation or the potential trigger of such a comment.

Do you feel misunderstood or sometimes not heard at all by your partner? Check out this excellent read on The Gottman Institute’s recent blog for steps on understanding and addressing emotional mismatch. https://lnkd.in/guU8vxQy

Why is it so hard to talk about our feelings? 🤔 'Let's Talk about Big Feelings' helps make those conversations easier. With Inside Out 2 coming soon, use this opportunity to grow closer with your child. 💬 Find out more here:https://lnkd.in/e4q8Bzid #ParentChildBonding #EmotionalIntelligence #InsideOut2 https://lnkd.in/ebKVi-Fq

I’m not gonna lie; I’ve been struggling a lot with this one lately. When people are disrespectful towards me, my initial instinct is to return it disproportionately. I’m not really an “eye for an eye” kind of guy…more like a “full-scale-nuclear-response for an eye” kind of guy. I’ve painfully learned that “mutually assured destruction” isn’t the most productive way to deal with disrespectful people. One of my mentors used to say “It’s hard to tell who the idiot is in a shouting match.” Your response to people who frustrate you is more a reflection of who you are than the person who probably deserves a more aggressive response. That said, this does not mean you have to be a doormat for bullies. You can set boundaries AND be respectful while doing so. It takes patience and restraint – in my case, it often takes chains and duct tape. My wife is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist. When she counsels parents about the behavior of their children, she often tells them “All behavior is communication. You just have to figure out what they are trying to tell you through their behavior.” That translates to adults as well. What’s the message behind the disrespect? More likely than not, it’s not about you; it’s about them.

PUNITIVE PARENT, INTERNAL CRITIC,CRITICAL VOICE What is that negative voice ??? However you call that voice, I think we can all resonate with it. People with a strong punitive parent voice tend to 1. be very hard on them selves 2. find it very difficult to give them selves grace 3. difficult to be self compassionate 4. difficult to find any sense of self kindness we constantly tell them to be kind to them selves, if only it was that easy right ?? From Schema mode therapy, perspective this is the punitive parent. How did it develop?? One would have grown up in an environment with lots of criticism,Negativity,Judgement, put downs, or it might be the absence of positivity, then we start to internalise this Negativity and this voice. Messages received from any one in authority this might include, parents, church, culture, siblings etc Once this voice is internalised, then one becomes their own punitive parent. it would be interesting to : 1. reflect on where your own punitive voice came from ??? 2. when did you become your own punitive parent ??? what does this voice do to us ????? it berates, us, puts us down, reminds us of our own failures and mistakes it can be very loud, and can have a whip and a megaphone and can be really relentless in flogging us. I will continue to explore the triggers in the next piece that I share

𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘. 𝗦€𝗫. 𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣 These are 3 unspoken words in many homes, yet the most powerful. We keep it away, yet our daughters get choked with these everywhere they look. Having "The Talk" with your daughter may initially be awkward but it’s one of the most important conversations you’ll ever have. Mum, Dad, please 𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗞 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗞. As a parent, you might feel uncertain or even uncomfortable about discussing these subjects with your daughter. You are not alone. Many parents struggle with finding the right words or the right time to have these conversations. As our daughters transition from childhood to teenage years, they encounter lots of challenges, uncertainties and questions, particularly when it comes to matters of love, sex and relationships. We can't keep quiet, otherwise they'll look for answers from the wrongest sources. It's our responsibility to guide them through this transformative period with compassion, understanding, love and unending support. That's why I wrote this book. It is designed to support you in this journey, providing insights, knowledge, wisdom, tools, practical advice and encouragement all the way. Whether your daughter is 2 or 22 years old, this book will come in handy. Join the waitlist now to enjoy 50% discount as you'll get it for ₦ 2000 instead of ₦ 4,000 original price. Available ONLY for 12 days. Link in comment section. #TeensCoach #TeenMentor #TalkTheTalk

Why do boys struggle to express their emotions? Vikas Divyakirti discussed the emotional challenges boys face. He explained that boys often refrain from discussing their emotions, which leads to significant problems. This emotional gap persists as they grow, leading to feelings of isolation within the household. By their teenage years, boys heavily rely on friends for emotional support due to this lack of long-term emotional connection with their parents. To delve deeper into this important discussion and learn how to foster more open emotional conversations, watch full episode here: https://lnkd.in/dvGjT8gt #EmotionalHealth #BoysMentalHealth #ParentingTips #TheRanveerShow