1 Piece Of Legendary Writing Advice From Squidward

“Squidville”

It’s possibly the greatest episode of Spongebob Squarepants ever created.

And it has one brilliant piece of writing advice inside it.

“What are you talking about Tom? It’s a kids show!”

Wow, you really sound like Squidward right now.

Just go with it.

In Squidville, Squidward sees an ad on television about “Tentacle Acres,” a gated community for Octopuses where all the houses look the same.

Literally.

Take a look.

At first Squidward is enamored. He loves it there. He goes to the grocery store to find canned bread. He goes cycling in the mornings with other residents. He takes clarinet lessons and dance lessons.

He’s having a ball.

But there’s a hilarious montage in the middle of the episode where it starts to get stale for him.

Doing the same things over and over again make him bored.

And, as he sits on a park bench, he ruminates “Maybe it’s too much paradise.”

So what’s the lesson for writers here?

We have to try new things?

We got to do cool sh*t?

Close, but no cigar.

For God’s Sakes, Stop Giving Us The Same Crap We’ve Already Read

My advice is really simple today.

Your audience is Squidward.

They get bored. They spot patterns.

They want new sh*t.

So you can be certain that the same tired personal development advice you read online won’t work for them.

If “Get 8 hours of sleep” is seriously a point in your next health-related article, I’m going to throw up in my mouth a little bit.

I’ve known that since I was 7.

So, how do you say new things?

Honestly, if you need to ask that question then perhaps you need to ponder why you want to be a writer.

I became a writer because I had something new to say.

I had a message I wanted to share.

If you woke up, declared you wanted to be a writer, but have no idea what you’re going to write about, then you’re in trouble.

That’s why it all starts with your “why” which is something I covered in my very first blogging lesson.

“I want to be a writer because I want to influence people” is a shit reason.

“I want to be a writer because I have something new to say” is a great reason.

Perhaps the best.

So, are you going to be different or not?

If not, then quit.

If so, subscribe to this newsletter and read the next few lessons to see how you can differentiate yourself as a writer.

Welcome to my newsletter, 150 days to blogging mastery. This is the fifth of 150 lessons, which we’ll publish every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until the end of the year. Please subscribe on Substack or here on Medium.

For the next month, we’ll be talking about how to generate great writing ideas.

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