10 Jokes Jackie Gleason, Johnny Carson, Dean Martin, and Buddy Hackett Would Make About New York Contractors

New York contractors are hardworking, no-nonsense professionals, but even they could use a laugh. If legends like Jackie Gleason, Johnny Carson, Dean Martin, and Buddy Hackett were cracking jokes about New York contractors, here’s what their comedic take might sound like.

1. Jackie Gleason:

“You know, New York contractors work so fast, they finish a 10-story building in the time it takes my wife to pick a restaurant. The only difference? The building doesn’t have to change three times before it’s done!”

2. Johnny Carson:

“Last week, I hired a New York contractor to remodel my kitchen. I asked for granite countertops—they gave me granite countertops and a mural of the Brooklyn Bridge. I guess that’s what they call the ‘artisanal upgrade.’”

3. Dean Martin:

“New York contractors are just like me at the bar—always adding layers. First, it’s a coat of primer, then paint, then sealant… By the time they’re done, it’s smoother than my pickup lines!”

4. Buddy Hackett:

“I asked a New York contractor how long it’d take to fix my roof. He said, ‘Two weeks, tops.’ That was 18 months ago—apparently, in contractor time, a week has seven rainy Saturdays!”

5. Jackie Gleason:

“You ever see a New York contractor argue with an inspector? It’s like a heavyweight fight! Only difference is, the contractor still wins even when the inspector calls a foul!”

Time to Get Serious About Your Insurance Needs

While we’re joking about New York contractors, their work is no laughing matter. From building skyscrapers to managing complex renovations, contractors face unique challenges every day. That’s why New York contractors should turn to BGES Group for all their business insurance needs.

At BGES Group, we specialize in providing contractors with the coverage they need to protect their businesses and meet industry requirements. Here’s what we offer:

• Workers’ Compensation Insurance: Essential for keeping your team protected in case of workplace injuries.

• General Liability Insurance: Protects against third-party claims of property damage or injury.

• Umbrella Liability Insurance: Additional coverage for those large, unexpected claims.

• Commercial Auto Insurance: Covers company vehicles and trucks.

• Equipment Insurance: Protects tools and heavy machinery from damage or theft.

• Builders Risk Insurance: Safeguards your construction projects in progress.

• Payroll Services: Ensures compliance and simplifies your business operations.

When it comes to insurance, BGES Group takes the guesswork out of protecting your business.

Contact Gary Wallach 914-806-5853

6. Johnny Carson:

“Do you know why New York contractors love ladders? Because they’ve been climbing them since they were toddlers trying to steal cookies off the top shelf!”

7. Dean Martin:

“A New York contractor’s toolbox is like a magician’s hat—you never know what’s going to come out. Sometimes it’s a hammer, sometimes it’s last night’s pizza!”

8. Buddy Hackett:

“I once told a New York contractor to ‘cut corners.’ He took it literally. Now I’ve got a round dining room table where my square one used to be!”

9. Jackie Gleason:

“A New York contractor isn’t afraid of anything. Not the heights, not the cold winters, not even my mother-in-law asking why the project is behind schedule!”

10. Johnny Carson:

“New York contractors have a motto: Measure twice, cut once—then take the rest of the afternoon off for a Yankees game!”

Contact BGES Group Today!

While we’ve had some fun today, running a contracting business is serious work, and having the right insurance is critical to your success. Let BGES Group protect your business so you can focus on what you do best.

Contact Gary Wallach at:

• Phone: 914-806-5853

• Email: bgesgroup@gmail.com

• www.bgesgroup.com

Partner with BGES Group today and experience boutique-like service and unbeatable expertise tailored to New York contractors. As Jackie Gleason might say, “How sweet it is!”