The 10 Secrets Sauces To Living Well And Winning Most People Learn Too Late

Much of my childhood and youth passed in naivety. My middle income, simple, decent folks were probably as naïve as I was. They ensured the life lessons they taught me would mold me into being a good girl. But none of the lessons were designed to help me win.

I took to their rules with religious fervor. As a result, much of my twenties passed by in a blur of bad men, bad bosses, underpaying jobs and terrible friends. It took me a decade more to know that the secret sauces to living well and winning are not learnt at the laps of clueless families or taught in classrooms. They come from life itself. I am sharing them with you, so you can benefit from this wisdom too. And yes, don’t forget to pass it down and pass it onward!

1. Life is simple

Winners understand that life is simple. Too much baggage metaphorically and physically must be shed on the way. Winners keep their thoughts, relationships and living simple. So should you. Overthinking has killed many a creative mind.

2. Knowing oneself is a lifelong journey

And it is the only real journey you need to undertake. The better you know who you are, the more baggage you can shed. The lighter you travel, the easier it is to be happy and productive. The easier it is to have relationships that count.

3. The fact that you are different does not make you wrong

If nothing, it probably makes you more right. The world was made by powerful people. For powerful people. Then these powerful people decided that they wanted status quo. They figured the best way to maintain that was to lay ground rules for the others. The rules of the society are not absolute truths. Religion, culture and indoctrination are relative truths. They are rules that can be questioned and bent. When you are unaware of this truth you make yourself susceptible to peer pressure. You live on the principle of fear. You fear breaking rules. Or going against the majority. Yet, the ones who do, live the really fulfilling lives. So the fact that you are different probably makes you right.

4. Reality is perception, everyone has their own perception

When I was little I thought adults have it all figured out. You and me both know that’s far from reality. And each of us has our own definition of reality. It is therefore unwise to accept another’s model of existence as your own or berate yourself for not confirming to their model. The more you know yourself, the better you know your reality and the better you will be able to exist in it. ‘Donot become a consequence of other people’s opinions’ says Sadguru. I couldn’t agree more.

5. Travel is over-rated

In my younger years I envied those who had the means to travel to foreign shores. When I could afford to travel, it felt like a magic window had opened. Now, after travelling 3 continents and countless cities, I rate travel as over-rated. It doesn’t magically open the mind. It doesn’t make us more aware, more tolerant. Understanding human nature makes us that. Travel by all means, if you have deep pockets and need to unwind, but donot look at life through your over privileged, “I have seen foreign shores” lens. Many of your fellow humans cannot afford to travel and that does not make them any less worldly wise. Human nature as Miss Marple says is the same everywhere. You can be a lifelong student of it from right where you live.

6. Loving who I am is elementary, not indulgence

My anxious, self-conscious family told me I was nothing special. To live in my well-worn shoes, I needed to acknowledge my humble existence, they taught. Loving myself was nothing more than self- indulgence and I couldn’t ‘afford’ to indulge. I tell you now after years of hating my height, my hair, my voice and even my talents that the sixth secret to good living is this. The more you love who you are, the more you can spread love and joy in the world.

7. The riskier my youth, the safer my later years

I was taught to be risk averse. Many of us are taught that. But age-appropriate risks mould us into the human beings we are meant to become. Facing and conquering risks early in life leads you to take better calculated risks in future. When more is at stake. When you take risks you learn to be responsible about it, a truth at odds with what we are normally taught. Risks prepare you for life, for what is life after all if not risky.

8. What I believe in I get

For a long time I believed in what my simple folks taught me. There is destiny. It has given us the wrong end of the stick. I stuck to this belief like glue. I got very little from life. And I gave very little back. But once I started to know better I started to believe better. This is what I believe in now. So can you to watch the transformations start to happen:

Your Beliefs/Thoughts ->Actions->Results.

This simple equation has been for me potentially life changing. It means this- what you think and believe ultimately leads to what you deserve. This also means- you have the power to choose, choose wisely.

9. Human beings are inherently good

In my dangerously formative years I believed humans are evil. We desire to ride on each other’s’ backsides to get to our destinations. I suffered as a result. I could not form relationships and connections that last. But humans are inherently good. We thrive on higher values. Our worlds are built on these. Love, kindness, ethics & integrity shape much of the lives we live. Insecurity does make some of us look bad. So the next time you bump into somebody who is insecure about who they are, sympathize. This might have been you in earlier more trying times.

10. The Secret Sauce to Wealth

I used to believe resources are scarce till I found that the secret sauce to wealth is what I believe about money. Energy flows, going around and coming around. So does money. Money cannot be ‘owned’. It comes to us and through us. We can use it for great good or terrible evil. The choice is ours. And yes, there’s plenty more where it comes from. Knowing this world view on money, is about having the secret sauce of the rich figured out.