12 Years Together: Our Secrets to Outsmarting the Sunday Scaries

Tomorrow will mark 12 years since the Jim and Angie show became official, and we tied the knot at Frank Lloyd Wright’s Falling Water in Mill Run, PA! That day seems like 100 years ago and yesterday all at the same time, as I’m sure many of you out there who have been married for much longer would also attest. 

I’m grateful to have the partner I do in Jim, so I wanted to share a few things I’ve learned through our marriage - and how he helps me combat the Sunday Scaries every day and every week!

1. Strive for Supportive Partnerships

Jim is my biggest cheerleader, and vice versa, and I’ve told many a professional (executive, entrepreneur, and everything in between), how important it is to have a spouse who supports you and your career. 

I’m not easy to live with (hey, admit your faults!), but I’m grateful that Jim has always supported my entrepreneurial spirit, including what has to be an exhausting never-ending stream of ideas. He’s always been my safe space for creating ideas, taking risks, and pushing both of us out of our comfort zones, and that’s the beauty of a real-life partnership - it strengthens both of you. 

2. Live with an Adventurous Spirit 

If it weren’t for this guy, I would be a hell of a lot more boring, and so would your weekly Sunday Scaries emails! 😆 I mean, all you had to do was read last week’s rescue edition to know that. 

Jim keeps me interesting, spontaneous, and adventurous. Without him, I would work 90 hours a week and probably have 97 more business plates spinning. On the flip side, my serious side balances the kid inside Jim, so we really do complement each other. Most importantly, through our differences, we’ve spent the years finding shared passions that have given us the moments and memories that make our relationship the very unique and beautiful thing that it is. 

3. Humor is the Ultimate Stress Diffuser

Y’all know I love a bit of snark, and Jim is the same; I mean, we are both East Coasters, after all! Even in the most tense moments of our 15+ years together, we’ve been able to find ways to have fun, forget the stress, and remember not to take ourselves (or life) too seriously. 

Who wants to actually be that boring couple in a restaurant who never smiles at or laughs with each other? (You know you’ve seen them.) I don't!!

4. Trust Breeds Independence

I was in my early 30’s when Jim and I married, which means I already had a (very different, ha!) life established and was confident in who I was. The same goes for Jim, and that’s helped us respect each other’s independence and interest in different things. 

Whether Jim decides to take a more intense biking trail while I opt for the wussy route, or he wants to spend an evening strumming his guitar while I bake cookies, we’ve gotten just as good at being alone together as we are adventuring as one. Since Jim’s an introvert (and I am NOT - 🙃), he needs some of that alone time, so the independence we’ve fostered has helped us build balance into our relationship. 

5. Celebrate the Everyday Moments

From small victories, like growing a one-pound tomato to conquering a new trail, locking in a big new client deal, or finishing a giant DIY project, we celebrate wins big and small, and I love the sense of pride we share over each other's accomplishments. 

It’s nice to know someone is in your corner, and you don’t have to wait to land the biggest fish from the river to hear “Nice job, Babe!” 🥰

6. Learning Together

I didn’t really think about it until I sat down to give you all seven tips from my marriage (ha!), but one of the things Jim and I have always enjoyed is learning together or supporting each other in our individual growth. 

Jim is the consummate hobbyist and dives into any new experience with both feet (and both hands, all ten fingers, and toes), and while his learning interests are different than mine, I still benefit from his obsession with mushroom foraging, growing the perfect vegetable, and learning how to maintain a very well-running mountain bike. 😁 

I’ve also pushed him to learn new things - from photography to web building, and that led to him taking the leap into his own entrepreneurial endeavor, so the benefits of learning new things have benefited both of us in unique ways. 

You stop learning, and you die - it’s a cringey quote that’s all but true, and I think Jim and I have embraced that ideal as individuals and as a dynamic duo. 

7. Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

It’s cliche and 100000% true in the Callen house, where literally, Jim is part of the team that makes the Career Benders' dream work! 

But it’s bigger than that; Jim and I have faced some very unexpected turns together that have forced us to adapt, get creative, and work as a team in situations few couples ever find themselves. Big or small, we’ve tacked things together with a shared sense of responsibility that has strengthened our foundation - and also helped us figure out how to work together as colleagues.

Even if I am the boss…. 😉

Support, humor, adventure, and trust - these are the four things I am most grateful for over the past 12 years of marriage. I’ve grown stronger as our relationship has done the same, which means all of you have benefitted from the foundation on which my life and business are built. 

To come full circle back to point 1, I could not have built what I built without Jim, and Career Benders would be nothing if he weren’t behind the scenes making sure I am fueled, fit, and fun. 

Happy Anniversary, Jim! 💕

Your Friend and Coach, 

Angie