2 Ways We are Spoiling Quality of Our Lives
A few days back, I was engrossed in completing my article for publication on Medium.
I was in a cafe.
I felt a pat on my back.
I turned back, and there he was.
Nakul, my colleague from my last 9-to-5 stint.
I removed my AirPods and started conversing while he took a seat opposite me.
This article was written after that conversation.
The Conversation
“Bro, long time.”
“Hey man, how have you been?”
(Pointing towards my Mac) “Is this M1, M2, or M3? Pro or Max?”
“It’s M2 P….”
“You have become a writer? I saw it on LinkedIn the other day. (I saw his name in my profile views on the day we met and around the time we were sitting in the cafe).”
“Yeah. Just trying my ha…..”
(He was looking into his phone in a shocking state.)
“Hold on! Call from the office.”
(He opened his laptop, and started working while showing frustration. I continued writing.)
“My new manager is ruthless. She is always in ASAP mode.”
(I nodded) “Yeah.”
“Ohh! You got these AirPods Pro 2. How are they? I was thinking of changing mine. Is it worth it?”
“Yes, you ca…..”
(Glancing at his watch in awe)
“My watch is just at 10%. Do you have the charger?”
“No.”
“Let’s order something.”
“Sure.”
“I will have garlic bread and coke. What about you, Nakul?”
“A-A- lemonade.. No, one cappuccino and some fries. No, wait. Onion rings…no…better to have rice and Manchurian..”
“There are so many options.” He said.
(He took 5 minutes to decide, checking his watch exactly 6 times, maybe some notifications.)
(Finally, he ordered dosa.)
“Ahh.. your food is tastier than mine. I should have ordered what you did.”
(And he was dissatisfied the whole time he ate.)
(While eating) “How’s your wife?”
“She is good. Just busy with the office and ……”
(Interrupting me) “I am on a dating spree. I go out daily with a different girl. Life is good.”
(His eyes were telling a different story, though!)
“How does it feel to be a writer? Better than 9-to-5?”
“Yes, it…”
“I am fed up with this job. I wish I could quit like you did. But, I can’t. I don’t have a support system like yours.”
And I couldn’t take this conversation anymore. I finished my food and left the place.
What Did I Observe?
He was not focused on the present. He was physically there, but mentally nowhere.
He couldn’t enjoy the food.
He didn’t do any work.
Wasn’t present in the conversation.
And also couldn’t decide whether to buy AirPods Pro 2 or not.
There are 2 major reasons for this kind of personality.
Problem 1 — Too Many Options
Just think of cleaning up your wardrobe and replacing it with one type of dress. (White shirt and blue jeans)
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Now think of life like that -
Feeling good?
If not, come back to this article after a few years.
Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, and even Einstein followed having only one set of clothes when making public appearances.
The reason -
This might be an extreme case. Who amongst us wants to be in the same set of clothes daily? I don’t know anyone personally.
But, we can lower the number of options not just in the wardrobe, but in many other areas of life.
Options are bad because they lead to -
Like Nakul in the above conversation showed all three traits.
Apps like Amazon, Netflix, Tinder, Zomato, and others are just impacting our decision power.
And they provide such a dopamine rush that we become addicted to them.
If we aren’t, we feel FOMO.
You check social media apps and you start feeling FOMO. Why?
And the list is endless.
Even after you choose something from so many options, you will be dissatisfied.
Nakul chose dosa. He tasted my food and was dissatisfied with his choice.
Food is a small thing here. I have seen people comparing spouses and feeling dissatisfied with theirs.
Options are always negative. They waste your time and take up a lot of your brainpower.
What is the solution?
Problem 2 — Multitasking
“Humans by design are not made for multitasking. Period.”
Too much information depletes our cognitive resources.
Everyone around us is busy.
And this list is endless.
The sad part is everything is happening at the same time. Why?
Because you have a smartphone. Just swipe left or right to see the status of all opened activities.
Nakul was lost because of his smartwatch. He wasn’t there with me.
Multitasking results in -
I have seen families coming to eat at a restaurant, and each one of them is on their phones.
Elon Musk is one of the wealthiest people. He is a big multitasker. You might feel he is successful.
Well, he is successful in just one department — wealth.
But think about the above three points in his life. (I recently finished Elon Musk by Walter Isaacson).
There is always so much on everyone’s plate that we think we ought to multitask.
But, the reality is opposite of what we think.
What is the solution?
To Sum it Up
“Less is more”
It is an architectural concept that holds in every aspect of humans.
One should avoid options in life. Don’t have plan B in life.
Be present in the present. Focus on one task. Complete it. Move on to the next.