3 things that kinda made me smile on the inside | week 37/2021

Attitude of Gratitude

My musings this week...

I had to dig a bit harder to uncover the three things that kinda made me smile on the inside this week.

Sadly, I'm guilty of reacting (rather than responded) as that of someone more like my shoesize than a mature woman. Not something I'm proud of.

I like to think my EQ is reasonably high and well developed so finding myself where I was came as a surprise. And with the hindsight of 20/20 vision, being tired was, I think, the underlying factor.

Sleep and I have never been particularly good friends.

During the week I thought that I might have self-humour as my theme but I could only find two self-funny things to smile about on the inside. Sooooo

This week's theme is true self.

Attitude of Gratitude #1 - memories of years ago

My hair is challenging to hairdressers - multiple cowlicks that just want to go their own way, regardless of how much product of sophisticated cutting takes place.

Me, first thing in the morning is a pretty scare sight. It kinda makes me smile on the inside because my hair just is!

After I've been out walking and take my hat cap off, it's even more scarier.

This week that scary-me image was backlit onto my kitchen cupboards. It kinda made me smile on the inside because I remembered the time I visited one of my sisters years' ago.

My nephew (bless!) who was about five at the time, thought it highly hilarious his aunty Julie's hair was such a mess first thing in the morning.

Attitude of Gratitude #2 - the gift of friendship

A surprise package arrived Friday morning. Hand knitted leg-warmers and matching beanie! I know! How exciting, right?

Actually, it was exciting and most definitely kinda made me smile on the inside.

The leg warmers and beanie were knitted with love and sent with love. It would therefore be rude and selfish of me not to share them with the world.

If we can't be ourselves in our own home - with no plastic faces - where can we be...?

What made me very especially kinda smile on the inside is that the two women I work with smiled as well - how cool is that...? That I work with people who don't take me too seriously...? Who can smile along on the inside with me over something so simple...?

Everyone (life according to Julie) needs to have the freedom and the opportunity to make their own fashion statements. Regardless of what others may think.

I truly hope my new beanie and leg warmers have you kinda smiling on the inside too.

Attitude of Gratitude #3 - realising what I'd let drop

Lately - as in most of this year - my husband has been cooking dinner.

Which has been truly a gift.

I've thoroughly enjoyed being able to work as long as possible and still eat dinner at a reasonable hour of the night.

But what I didn't realise was how much I'd missed cooking myself.

The glass of wine I used to enjoy whilst cooking dinner and listening to podcasts I enjoyed, had somehow morphed into a glass of wine at my desk while I continued to work and a backlog of podcasts to listen to.

One insignificant evening at a time that accumulates into weeks, then months.

This week though, I got to kinda smile on the inside when I decided to quit work early and cook dinner. For a change.

I quit work early because I was in a huff. I felt like I was banging my head against a wall, getting nowhere. Frustrated. Angry. Self-doubt.

It was only while I was standing admiring all the spectacular colours we were going to be eating for dinner that night, glass in hand, listening to a podcast, reflecting on my "huff", I realised just how much I missed that solo time each evening.

How much I missed the creativity of cooking colourful dinners.

That was when I kinda smiled on the inside: I felt like I had 'me' back.

And God! that felt good!

I most definitely smiled on the inside when I realised I was back. Until you realise you've lost yourself, you won't know when you're back. I think only someone who's been lost will ever be found ... someone who's been-there, done-that, will understand.

My one full-Technicolour attitude of gratitude kinda made me smile on the inside this week is my version of stir-fry which ends up always being bubble and squeak.

I just don't seem to have mastered stir-fry vegetables. Yet!

Mine are always bubbled and squeaked!

Thank you for being part of my week.

If you're like me - lost (but didn't realise it) I pray you find yourself again like I did so you can kinda smile on the inside.

I pray you're brave enough to be you - regardless of what you wear, courageous to be a bit scary and confident enough to be the winner in your life.

May those you love and cherish stay safe and well.

Kia kaha, ka kite, manaaki te Atua.