3 Ways To Escape The Cage We Find Ourselves In

Matthew and his wife take pride in providing for their family, but he feels hopelessly stuck in a role he hates and the pressure of being the main breadwinner.

As an expat working for a large multi-national company, he feels even more trapped because he's dependent on his employer for his residence visa, their housing allowance, health insurance and so much more.

So Matthew lies awake at 3am, his thoughts racing as he feels trapped in a gilded cage; a job that saps his energy, enthusiasm and happiness and from which there seems no escape.

A Different Perspective

What's the answer?

How can we reset and create a more sustainable, fulfilling vision of success within the constraints and demands of expat, multi-national, corporate and family life?

Often we take drastic action, moving roles or even cities and countries.

This could be the right way forward but when we make decisions out of fear and frustration we might just swap one cage for another.

I have found that when we delve deeper, the gilded cage we're trapped in is often an illusion. It feels real but is constructed from unfounded beliefs, assumptions and fears.

The good news is we have access to more mental and emotional freedom than we realize. Here are three steps that can help you achieve it.

3 Strategies That Lead To Freedom From Your Cage

If you're feeling trapped too, these three strategies will help you dismantle your own metaphorical cage.

1. Understand The Dimensions of Your Unique Cage.

We all feel fear and insecurity., It's part of the human experience.

However, the exact way our doubts show up and influence our behaviour is unique to each of us.

Pay attention in your own life with self-reflection and self-development.

The more self-aware you are, the more you'll continually create new perspectives and challenge what isn't working.

Think of this growing self-awareness as new knowledge that dismantles your metaphorical cage, one bar at a time.

2. Avoid "All or Nothing Thinking"

We feel stuck when we believe we have few options and any solution feels out of reach. The reality is usually more nuanced.

In Matthew's case, he believed his desire for personal growth and happiness was at odds with his values of stability and family.

The irony is that his work-related unhappiness was casting a shadow over his home life. The stress and frustration he carries is a weight his loved ones feel too.

Once he saw this, Matthew knew his "All or nothing thinking" was keeping him trapped.

It wasn't really a choice between a miserable job or a happy family and he'd been asking himself the wrong question.

3. Replace Doubt With Curiosity.

Worry and doubt keep us focused on what isn't possible. They feel miserable but can also become habitual.

Anyone who has ever had the same thoughts churning round and round and felt they couldn't find an answer knows this.

Curiosity keeps us focused on what could be possible. It invites us to try a different perspective.

Ask yourself what resources are available to you right now.

It could be a mentor or a coach who will open your eyes to new ideas, a new course, a new work project, an internal transfer, a role with a new employer, a sabbatical or secondment.

Once you start deliberately focusing on possibility, your energy changes and you see new opportunities.

Matthew decided to change roles within his company, into a new area of the business which he knew little about.

It was scary and a risk, but he knew he could always go back to his old role. He chose a sideways move that brought him new skills, challenges and reenergized his enjoyment of work.

He's now even more valuable in his industry because he has cross-functional experience and is heading towards a VP role.

More importantly, he's happier, more focused, relaxed and sleeps well again!

His story is a reminder that many of the restrictions we confront in life are the outcomes of our own beliefs and choices.

Don't shy away from stepping beyond your comfort zone and venturing into new territories. You will feel uncomfortable staying stuck and uncomfortable with change. Choose your discomfort.

Instead:

1. Focus on self-awareness and understandin your unique cage
2. Avoid "All or nothing thinking"
3. And replace doubt with curiosity.

If we are the creators of our metaphorical cages, we can dismantle them too.

Deema Ghata-Aura is a Certified Professional Coach. She has guided expats at all levels in multi-national companies, from new leaders to C-suite executives, to create sustainable success with balance, not burnout.

As a Master Certified Practitioner in Energy Leadership™️ and a current trainee facilitator in the groundbreaking "Playing Big" approach to new leadership, Deema's coaching is rooted in compassion and understanding, guiding clients from self-doubt to self-assurance and positive action.

With a background as a Team Leader and Product Head for the UK’s largest retail bank, where she managed a nationwide distribution channel and a ￡6 billion lending target, Deema possesses a deep understanding of corporate complexities.

She has been an expat for the last 15 years living across three continents as she has taught, coached, founded Criterion Coaching and raised a family.

If you are curious about working with Deema, book an appointment using the link in her profile today.