4 Ways to Use Powerless Communication to Connect With Audiences
Stop trying to establish dominance when presenting and focus on connection through this communication style.
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Read time: 4 minutes
Today at a glance:
Somewhere along the line, I was taught that if I wanted a group to listen to me I had to command the respect of the room. To establish authority superiority I needed to raise my voice, speak with confidence, command space, and use threats. Yes! That would be the way to win them over…
Now, I laugh at even writing those words.
I'm not sure where I picked up this idea of powerful communication being the right approach. Maybe it was some crummy public speaking course I took, maybe I picked it up on some TV show, or better yet, it could be the Long Islandese speak we used in any exchange growing up. After all, we're taught to take any chance we get to aggressively tell you that our bagels and pizza are better than yours (it's the wuhder!). Step into a Long Island deli and you'll learn about powerful communication the hard way…
This type of communication is flawed because it tries to establish dominance. But dominance is a zero-sum game—the more I have, the less you have. The second you come across someone willing to assert more dominance than you, you'll lose your influence.
Instead, we should be focused on establishing prestige in our communication style.
Prestige isn't zero-sum, it's abundant because it's about respect and admiration. Prestige stems from a sense of connection to the groups you are speaking to.
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But how do you develop prestige?
Why Powerless Communication Builds Prestige
Unlike powerful communicators, powerless communicators are...
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P.S. Here's How I Maintain Important Relationships
Who are your people? You know, the ones that matter most, but maybe you don’t hear from as often?... Maybe they moved away or life’s just been too busy. Now, you catch up about the vacation you saw on Instagram instead of sharing the daily moments that brighten your day.
Do you really know what’s going on with them…do you know what made them smile today?
I started using Gratitude Plus to bring those moments back into my life. (Think of it as the BeReal for gratitude.) Now, I take less than 2 minutes to share daily highlights with my loved ones—and I hear about what’s really going on, not just the big moments.
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Best of luck building,
Devin
Startup-Obsessed Broadway Actor | Ops at Fathom
6moSuch a great point, Devin! Even that phrase, "COMMANDING the room" reveals the fact that so many people see being a good speaker as meaning you're seen as the authority figure. The thing is, we listen the most to people we connect with... not to people who are in power. I like your reframing.