5 Communication Mistakes Pakistanis Make ( And it Stops Now)

Today, a large number of Pakistanis are working abroad, working remotely or working from within the country, with international clients and organizations, so the way we represent ourselves and how we communicate plays a massive role in how our professional circle treats us. Here is a fact of life, we can not change the way others perceive us but we most definitely can shape the way we see ourselves, by projecting our strengths and value in a manner that serves us the best.

How we communicate about ourselves is the subtle cue we give to others on how they should treat us. If we as a group of people communicate our uncertainty about our value as professionals and as a nation, what do you expect will be the response of others towards us? Yes, you have it correct, they will also treat you with uncertainty and undervalue you, which results in you getting paid less, and recieving limited professional growth and opportunities.

Before, we get into the five common mistakes and how we can address them. I want to acknowledge why many Pakistanis and people in general make these mistakes. First, majority of us are not taught how to be good communicators in schools and second due to the socio-political events in the world, non-western people have been mischaracterized and demonized by many (not all) in the "White" world. So it makes sense why so many Pakistanis and other non-Europeans often second-guess themselves, many feel that they have to prove their goodness, smartness and value when interacting with people from European and international backgrounds.

I have more than 30 years of on ground experience working, studying, and living around the world as a global professional and here are the top 5 mistakes I have observed fellow citizens make which I know is preventing us from succeeding and gaining the respect we as a nation deserve.

5 Common Communication Mistakes Pakistanis Make:

Apologizing for their Identity.

The sad truth is that there is massive misinformation about Pakistan internationally and even amongst Pakistanis! The image within the international community is quite convoluted, and many Pakistanis are hyper-conscious of the fact that foreigners may have a negative image about their country which they feel obligated to correct. This often results in many apologizing for their background, culture and values.

Embrace who you are, don't be ashamed of the university you went to, don't be ashamed of the fact your country is a developing country. Developing means: still in progress, while there are areas of Pakistan which are underdeveloped, there are also areas of cultural, economic and social progress. We are a young country of only 76 years- stop comparing yourself to countries/citizens who used slavery to build themselves and are 200 + years old as a nation. Your value does not decrease because of this, highlight positive and unique qualities about yourself and the country, while acknowledging the realities, painting a real picture, not a negative/insecure one.

Putting on an Accent.

Due to the country's colonial background and the supremacy of the English language, it's not just Pakistanis but many non-native English speakers are made to feel conscious of the way they speak the language. ( It doesn't help that many White Europeans and Americans are racist and uninformed about the outside world and make us feel bad). So many Pakistanis and non- native speakers try to mimic or copy how a stereotypical British/ American speaks the language.

I have a simple question to ask my fellow citizens; do we expect the Americans and British to speak fluent Urdu with a "Urdu accent"? I believe the answer is a solid No. In fact, we often appreciate the effort that the person is trying to speak the language makes and even find it cute. Then why are we so harsh with ourselves? Why doesn't the same standard apply to Pakistanis?

The key to speaking in any language is to speak clearly and make sense, as long as you're doing that, it genuinely it does not ( and should not) matter what accent you have and the plain truth is people can often make out when you're faking it.

Bringing up Religion or justifying your Religion continuously ( When the conversation is not about religion).

After the events of September 11, people with Islamic backgrounds had to watch their backs and apologize on behalf of individuals that we had nothing to do with. Because of this I have seen fellow citizens either over-emphasize the great qualities of their religion and bring up religion in conversations/circumstances when its not needed. If the conversation is not centered around religion -there is no need to bring it up. It makes you appear desperate and seems like you are forcibly selling a concept/idea. Allow your actions to speak for themselves, also it is not your responsibility to educate everyone, as professionals and adults it is an individual responsibility to educate one self about other cultures and religions.

Underselling their talent and skills.

Following up on point 1, there is a lot of stigma and second-guessing around the value even though Pakistanis are ( but its simply not highlighted or acknowledged enough) amongst some of the most talented and hardworking professionals in the world.

When you undersell your skills and knowledge, what you are communicating is, that you are ashamed of your education, you are uncertain of who you are- essentially that you are not good enough. You are making yourself small. Humility is different than minimizing yourself. We are not stereotypes of ill-informed Westerners but people with real talent and skills, showcase that with confidence.

Not investing in their communication/personal branding skills.

As I have highlighted in previous editions of Magnetic Mondays with Maria, communication is a soft skill with hardcore value. Learning to communicate who you are and what you have to offer is a critical skillset that one has to learn, it's not something that we are all born with, majority of us develop this skill overtime. Personal branding is not just for CEOs or social media personalities, it's a powerful tool that can support any ambitious professional achieve their goals.

A decade ago the world wasn't so interconnected, nor were we competing with as many people as before, by learning to tell your professional story which we commonly refer to as personal branding you can effectively communicate your skills, what makes you unique and attract the right professional opportunities for you. If you are willingly to buy an expensive suit to impress others, but not invest in upgrading your skillsets, especially communication skills, then you will struggle to reap the rewards professionally, it's time to change your mindset and invest beyond the superficial and upgrade yourself from within. That's why investing in yourself and working with a great communications strategist is important, as they will support you in not only identifying your professional value but the best way to communicate it and what platforms to convey your message and value.

Xoxo

Maria

In the next edition we will focus on Dark Feminine Energy and how women and girls can utilize it to become the best versions of themselves and protect their energy.

Searching for personalized coaching sessions to improve your communication skills, develop a personal brand or looking to book a communications expert for workshops. Connect with me at  mariaesperenza@yahoo.com for detailed sessions available or message me on LinkedIn.

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