5 Mistakes Leaders can Avoid While Goal-Setting
Ridhima Dua
Elevate Life Leadership for Mid & High Level Leaders with NLP | Providing New Code NLP Practitioner 180 DAYS mentoring | Customise Corporate Training to achieve Performance using applied NLP | Key Note Speaker
5 Mistakes Leaders Can Avoid While Goal-Setting
First of all hi to all & I would like to personally apologize for not sending the newsletter in the last month. I have been doing unwell, rested very well, & back in action from the last week.
Announcements: Diploma in CC NLP & International Courses date are published. Block your meeting to know more about it.
If you remember we have achieved a great milestone this year, January month we did the offline event in Goa, May month we did the international event with NLP Academy & ITCA, Aug month we did another huge offline event at Sheraton, Pune for 8 days where professionals/coaches from 14 cities came & invested time to learn New Code NLP for personal & professional development. As we achieve one after the other goals, one of the important factors of goals is how do we set the vision & then chunked down goals.
In this newsletter, I would like to cover one area around Goal-setting today. It's about what can we avoid while we are setting goals & working towards them.
Let's dive in there!
“Leaders are human!”
This was the headline in an HBR article I read sometime back and it made me realize the immense amount of stress that leaders undergo daily just because of their position.
Yes, leadership is demanding and requires accountability. But the leader at the end of the day is a human with deep-seated fears, fallacies, and personality challenges.
I hope my readers in crucial leadership positions may resonate with this.
I get it, I understand. Being a leader is a challenging task. It means being responsible for –
…and the list goes on.
Now let me ask you some tough questions –
Ever set a goal that you were sure would take your business or personal growth to the next level, only to find yourself falling short?
You're not alone.
As leaders, we often struggle to achieve our goals, and it's not because we're not capable—it's because we might be unknowingly making some common mistakes along the way. These mistakes can hold us back, despite our best intentions and efforts.
Whether it's setting goals that are too ambitious, losing sight of why we started in the first place, or getting caught up in the expectations of others, these challenges can make even the most determined of us feel stuck.
The good news?
By identifying these roadblocks, we can clear the path to achieving our aspirations more effectively.
Goal setting is a crucial part of leadership. However, even the best leaders sometimes fall short of achieving their goals—myself included.
Reflecting on why leaders, including myself, struggle to achieve their goals has led me to identify seven common mistakes and practical solutions using NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).
Here, we explore these mistakes with examples, and I'll provide an NLP strategy to overcome each one.
Ready? Let's go!
One of the most common mistakes leaders make while setting goals is becoming over-associated with the outcomes. Over-association occurs when leaders not only visualize their goals but also become emotionally entangled in achieving them to the point where it starts affecting their day-to-day activities. While having a clear vision of what you want to achieve is crucial, obsessing over the outcome can lead to unintended consequences. Leaders often find themselves constantly thinking about the end goal—imagining how it would feel, what it would look like, or how others might react once they achieve it. This level of emotional attachment can hinder performance rather than improve it.
Example:
A sales manager who sets a target of increasing sales by 20% over the next quarter. Initially, they visualize the outcome: the praise from their boss, the rewards, and the sense of accomplishment. However, instead of then turning their attention to their daily tasks—motivating the team, generating leads, and following up on opportunities—they become obsessed with whether they will meet the target. They start running in deep-rooted fears of “What if”?
NLP Solution: Begin by setting a clear and specific goal, and take some time to vividly imagine the outcome. See, hear, and feel what it would be like to achieve it. This helps in creating motivation and building a mental picture of success. After visualizing, it’s important to mentally step back and detach from the end result.
Imagine placing that goal aside, almost like putting it on a shelf, and reminding yourself that it is there, but your focus needs to be elsewhere for the time being. It's time to ASSOCIATE yourself to action NOW!
I have done this for my business too and it has worked wonders! Go ahead and put this in place.
This helps reduce the emotional pressure tied to achieving the goal.
One of the most common mistakes leaders make is setting outcomes that are overly ambitious or unrealistic. While aiming high can be motivating, setting goals that are practically unattainable can create resistance, lead to burnout, and ultimately cause failure.
Leaders often find themselves becoming too attached to these larger-than-life outcomes, which prevents them from focusing on the actionable steps needed to achieve them.
Example: Elon Musk’s goal of colonizing Mars within a short period is a perfect illustration of this issue. Musk’s ambitious timeline for SpaceX initially created immense pressure, leading to several setbacks and delays. The focus on the grand outcome rather than taking small, realistic steps resulted in significant resistance, which persisted until adjustments were made.
The same way for an author, writing 5 books in a year, might also be drenching their energies taking them to unwanted states rather than being a motivator at times. Although subjectively, not true for all.
NLP Solution: Focus on what you align with & you know that this is possible & you will be really doing it, it's like ringing that bell or feeling of clarity “I know it will happen”.
Use the VAK (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic) model to visualize this outcome.
See it happening, hear the sounds of appreciation & feel the feelings deeply associated with you, ahh, this is it! Stay & increase this feeling in your body. Then go to the next step.
With all respect to my readers, I would like to highlight, in each of my documents whenever I am presenting you with the techniques, the results are driven only by doing the techniques and not by reading them.
On an everyday basis, you can break down the larger goal into smaller, actionable steps, and visualize yourself successfully achieving each step. This helps you connect with the process rather than becoming overly fixated on the outcome.
In this era of social media, we often like to do what others are doing, based on our visual appearances we might make decisions that may not match up with our skills. We may neglect our own inner skills & voices telling us to focus inside out!
Leaders sometimes end up chasing goals that are not their own but are instead a reflection of what others expect or are doing. When a goal is influenced by external pressures rather than internal motivation, it often lacks the commitment and ownership needed to succeed. We end up confused when challenges arise, is that what we want to do? The solutions didn't arise easily as the laying foundation was weak.
This is especially common when leaders try to replicate the success of others instead of crafting their unique path.
The lesson is: Our own Why is more important than others.
Example: Yahoo’s attempt to compete directly with Google by mimicking its business model highlights the danger of pursuing a goal that doesn’t align with a company’s strengths or identity. Instead of focusing on innovation or finding a niche, Yahoo aimed to become another Google, ultimately losing purpose and market relevance.
NLP Solution: Ask yourself,
“What’s the intention”
“What intention does that serve to you?”
“What intention does that serve to your clients?”
What would happen if you would achieve this?
What wouldn’t happen if you wouldn’t do it?
Using the New Code NLP verbal package with observations & NLP Meta Model questions format, we can identify where are we getting stuck, get clarity, and use techniques to clearly align it deeply!
Laying the foundation deep inside the self is important.
If the goal is inspired by someone else, take full ownership of it by defining the nuances in a way that aligns with your unique vision and values.
4) Ignoring Deep-Seated Fears
Deep-seated fears—whether emotional, physical, or mental—can prevent leaders from setting and achieving effective goals. These fears often manifest as self-doubt, avoidance of difficult tasks, or hesitation to take risks. When leaders ignore these fears, they fail to address the root causes of their challenges, which ultimately limits their growth.
The irony of deep-seated fears is that you don’t even know that you are operating from them. For example, difficulty in saying No at times when it is required also comes from a deep-rooted fear that if I say No, this person may not like me (me and in the future might not connect & can really go in a spiral down)
Another example, not taking the action that we want to take for a long time, because of fear of the consequences of taking them and failing, which also comes from a deep-rooted pattern.
Example: Steve Jobs, despite his remarkable success, struggled with a fear of being outshined by others. This fear led him to micromanage his team and caused friction in his professional relationships. Jobs’ fear of losing control also made him resistant to delegating tasks, which could have limited the growth of Apple if not for his eventual willingness to address this fear.
NLP Simplest Solution: Use the NLP Reframing technique to shift your perspective on fear. Instead of viewing fears as obstacles, see them as opportunities for growth. Write down your fears, acknowledge them, and reframe them into positive challenges that you are willing to tackle.
A little deeper Task to handle fear:
Identify what the fear is: How??
By challenging the statements: I don’t want to say No to him.
What will happen if you do so: He will feel bad.
How do you know: Based on earlier experiences.
Are there any other experiences in which you have said no and he has not felt bad,
Are there any experiences in which you have said No to someone and the person has not felt bad?
Are there experiences in which you have received No, and you have felt bad, WHAT are those experiences, go back to the times when that happened.
These are the deep-rooted experiences which are their subconscious & a practitioner's job is to work with you on that.
Important Learning in Revisiting:
Failing to Challenge the "Why" while revisiting the achievements & setbacks.
Leaders often forget to continuously question and revisit the underlying motivations behind their goals. A lack of clarity about the "why" can lead to disillusionment, lack of direction, and burnout. If a leader’s motivations are not deeply connected to a meaningful purpose, they may struggle to maintain the energy and enthusiasm needed to achieve their goal.
Example: Consider the case of WeWork under the leadership of Adam Neumann. The initial vision for WeWork was to create a community-driven workspace, but over time, the goal shifted towards aggressive expansion without a clear purpose behind it. This lack of a meaningful "why" led to unsustainable growth and, eventually, a dramatic downfall.
NLP Solution: Practice the NLP Chunking technique by asking questions that dig deeper into your motivations. For example, ask, "Why is this goal important to me now?" or "What purpose does achieving this goal serve?" This helps you ensure your actions remain aligned with a meaningful purpose and allows you to make adjustments if needed.
Set the Vision at a higher level & then short goals!
The next time you set a goal, use this guide to avoid getting stuck and revisit it often.
Goals can be tricky—you can't always tell if they're right or wrong right away; the consequences become clear only over time.
Make sure you're prepared, and it’s ok to learn with each setback as feedback during the journey!
Enjoy each milestone you achieve and reading this newsletter in full is also a milestone!
Cheers to your milestone!
Let me know in the comments, what else can be added as a mistake that can be avoided while setting goals and can help to achieve them!