5 Ways You Can Tell if You Are Masking

How does masking manifest?

Masking encompasses a spectrum of behaviours aimed at presenting a version of oneself that aligns with perceived societal standards or expectations. 

Yesterday, at Kinship we explored the benefit of wearing masks and why we even bother to wear them, considering how harmful they can be.

The masking explored manifests in various forms, including:

• Emotional Masking: Suppressing or disguising genuine emotions to appear composed or unaffected, often in response to social pressure or fear of vulnerability.
• Social Masking: Adapting one's behaviour, speech, or interests to fit into specific social contexts or groups, even if it diverges from one's authentic preferences or values.
• Identity Masking: Concealing aspects of one's identity, such as gender, sexuality, or cultural background, to avoid discrimination, prejudice, or rejection.
• Masking of Disabilities: Hiding or downplaying symptoms of physical, cognitive, or neurodevelopmental conditions to avoid stigma, discrimination, or pity from others.
• Performance Masking: Presenting a polished or exaggerated version of oneself in professional or public settings, often to project competence, success, or likability.

While masking can offer a temporary shield from judgment or discomfort, it can also breed feelings of alienation, disconnection, and internal conflict. 

Moreover, the energy expended in maintaining these masks can drain one's emotional reserves and hinder genuine self-expression.

Hence, many of the women who attended the session refused to wear masks despite the cost to their careers and often their mental health or wellbeing.

When could masking EVER be helpful?

In navigating the intricacies of interpersonal dynamics, the use of masks becomes a nuanced consideration, not an either-or scenario.

And, it is essential to acknowledge that safeguarding our mental health and overall well-being often involves a delicate balance, particularly in circumstances where conflict avoidance is prudent.

Take, for example, you hate your boss. 

While harbouring feelings of discontent towards them may be natural, expressing such sentiments openly could carry significant professional repercussions, potentially jeopardising career prospects and stability.

In various social contexts, the strategic concealment of one's true sentiments becomes a pragmatic choice, serving to safeguard personal interests and mitigate potential conflicts.

Even, if they are being mean or you are facing unfavourable treatment in comparison to other colleagues, the necessity to maintain composure and restraint in emotional expression is paramount.

The issue is as adults, we can get very good at suppressing our true emotions and doing this frequently to avoid controversy or stay within social norms is sometimes not ok!

Especially, if the social or cultural norms have become harmful or toxic.

It is incumbent upon us to discern when adherence to social norms is constructive and when it perpetuates harmful dynamics that warrant challenge.

But, at what cost to your physical and mental health?

It is imperative to recognise the potential pitfalls of habitual emotional suppression.

Psychologists, Richards & Gross completed a study that investigated the effects of emotional suppression on cognitive functioning and found the ability to recall information from long-term memory was affected more in the group who suppressed their emotions.

As well as a higher activation of the cardiovascular system, increasing physical symptoms, such as sweating or an increased heart rate. 

Therefore, while the utilisation of masks may offer short-term benefits in navigating complex social landscapes, it is crucial to remain attuned to the broader implications and the need for authentic self-expression.

In other words, hiding or masking one’s feelings does not make those feelings go away!!!!  

Prolonged or excessive masking to navigate societal expectations or evade controversy will take a toll on your mental and physical health, strain relationships, and hinder authentic self-expression. 

Therefore, it's essential to strike a balance between masking when necessary and finding opportunities for genuine connection, vulnerability, and self-care.

5 Ways You Can Tell if You Are Masking

Masking is a complex phenomenon that pervades many aspects of human interaction and identity.

Whether driven by societal pressure, fear of judgment, or a desire for acceptance, masking can obscure our true identity and hinder authenticity. 

Here are 5 ways you can tell if you are masking;

• Discrepancy Between Public Persona and Private Self: One of the clearest signs of masking is a stark contrast between how you present yourself to the world and how you feel or behave in private. If you find yourself putting on a facade in social settings or suppressing your true thoughts and emotions, you may be engaging in masking behaviour.
• Feeling Exhausted or Drained After Social Interactions: While socialising can be energising for many people, those who engage in masking may find it emotionally taxing. If you often feel drained or exhausted after social interactions, it could be a sign that you're expending significant energy on maintaining a facade or suppressing authentic expression.
• Difficulty Identifying Your True Preferences or Values: Masking can blur the lines between your genuine desires and the expectations of others. If you struggle to discern your own preferences, interests, or values from those imposed by external influences, you may be grappling with the effects of masking.
• Fear of Rejection or Judgment: A pervasive fear of being judged, rejected, or misunderstood can drive masking behaviour. If you find yourself constantly second-guessing your words or actions out of fear of negative evaluation, it may indicate that you're masking aspects of yourself to avoid potential criticism or disapproval.
• Sense of Inauthenticity or Disconnect: Perhaps the most telling indicator of masking is a persistent feeling of inauthenticity or disconnect from yourself and others. If you often feel like you're wearing a mask or playing a role rather than living authentically, it's essential to examine the underlying motivations driving this behaviour.

By recognising if we are masking and cultivating self-awareness, we can begin to make choices, if masking is hindering us or something we need to do for our survival, as well as future thriving and professional development.

REMEMBER THIS!

By cultivating a deeper awareness of our emotional responses and exercising discernment in their expression, we can navigate interpersonal dynamics with integrity and assertiveness, fostering environments conducive to genuine connection and positive change.

There is not one person who is alive walking this earth that is worth you laying awake at night feeling like you are NOT enough over.

You are always more than your work! Please don't sacrifice your mental health.

If you would like support to dismantle these barriers and embrace your authentic self with courage and compassion. Join Kinship we meet the first Friday of every month. See you there!

Bitesize weekly content! We hope you have enjoyed it. See you next week x

PS If you want to hang out. Kinship is a Safe Space for Diverse Women. The First Friday of every month. Allies are welcome! Register here