7 Questions For Meaningful Midlife Transitions

1) What is something most people think is important that I can skip entirely?

Overpreparation

Over-indexing on research and consumption has never been easier. Without a clear vision or deeper why, the noisy velocity and volume of articles, videos, podcasts, and books not only surpass the boundaries of what we need but they impede action, experimentation and first steps.

I am a late-starter in many positive aspects of deep connection, creativity, and health because I could not find my "enough is enough" moment relative to research and consumption. Once I found this, I found the commitment to start the transition with a very small and positive first step forward that could be easily repeated every day.

2) What is something in your daily routine you wish you started sooner?

First Things First

Without a clear vision or deeper why, I would bookend sleep with a constant need to respond to others, especially on screens. This had terrible effects on my sleep, health and performance.

Prioritizing a simple but consistent morning practice that lightly touched physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health was my game-changer.

A deeper understanding of why and how to care for ourselves before caring for others ultimately offers a higher quality of care for others.

3) What channels led to the building of your highest-quality relationships?

The Channel of Nature

At the essence of our time in nature, there is never a worry about algorithms, settings, volume, profile, pricing, or any other feature commonly associated with channels. It's all built-in, perfectly adjusted, and ready to support the highest quality of relationship-building one can desire.

4) What is something you did differently from your peers but served you in the long run?

Bon Dia Catalunya!

I moved away from the surroundings, environment, and culture in which I was raised and knew best. Perhaps I moved away from greater potential financial gain and material success.

Instead, I went to a place where:

• My native language is not spoken.
• I wake up every day where learning shifts from "nice to do" to "must do."
• My path as outsider progressively moves inward from a place curiosity, nuance, and respect.

The long run take-away is the ability to find clarity and simplicity in transitions that previously kept me stuck in states of procrastination and complexity as time passed.

5) What can I expect to struggle with along the way?

The Art Of Letting Go

Part of what moves us through the first half of life is a strong adherence to rules, situations, and relationships that serve our advancement goals. Find what works and repeat with discipline.

Rigidity takes a seat at our head table. At some point, we start to ask why is rigidity still here? What is its role here?

While excusing rigidity from the table makes sense, replacing something in its chair may not.

Instead, why not hold ideas more softly? We can enjoy pursuits of deep importance while simultaneously giving ourselves a space to be flexible, curious, and creative.

6) What is something you had to "unlearn" to take the next step?

Do I Need To Be Correct?

I needed to have the answer. The correct answer that created value, fostered connection, or provided the best solution... which ultimately led to more cycles of needing to have more answers.

Unlearning the need to have the answer is difficult.

But, what happens when we convert what we believe to be the answer into a question?

Can a better question lead to the next step?

Can a better question open new paths of curiosity?

Can a better question create more nuance?

Can a better question let go of the need to be correct?

Can a better question simply bring enjoyment and gratitude by learning from new perspectives and expanding the voice of others?

7) What is something you had to learn the hard way?

The Rock Paradox

At the surface level, it seems so obvious. I see the rock in the river... and I steer clear of it.

But after years of keeping plenty of distance from this obstacle, I pass this rock from a side perspective and notice the unique character of the water close to the rock. Its variations and directional changes look opportunistic and engaging from this view compared to its "scary" appearance from further upstream of the rock.

With every passing, I regret not confronting this rock. Maybe I will try next time... Or the next time after that... The painful cycle of avoidance continues...

The hard and counterintuitive lesson learned:

The most enjoyable and flowing channels in our rivers of life are discovered and enjoyed at the point in which we confront our most challenging rock; Conversely, the least enjoyable river paths - shallow shoals and scraping the bottom of the river near the side of the riverbank - happen when we intentionally avoid the rock we need to confront the most.

The rock appears as an obstacle from an upstream perspective. When actually confronting this obstacle, the rock simply redirects our river's best flow.

5 Resources

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Personal Socrates: I could not imagine writing a post based on questions and advocating for asking questions without recommending a wonderful book I read about asking better questions. In Personal Socrates: Questions That Will Upgrade Your Life from Legends & World-Class Performers, author and friend, Marc Champagne, thoughtfully profiles peak performers from many walks of life and explores the pursuit of better questions to improve our own personal narrative. Read the book --> HERE

What's Next: This short prompt from Seth Godin helps us to consider the frameworks we choose that support our choices. Read the post --> HERE

The Spark For The 7 Questions: H/T to Dickie Bush, who initially shared the 7 questions as a way to help younger people learn from the experiences of others who have previously traveled a path of interest. Friend, Gordo Byrn, who writes about high performance habits and endurance training (with a lot of attention to athletes over 50,) repurposed the questions, which not only inspired me to write today's post but I believe will be of interest to many of you too. Read Gordo's article --> HERE

A Full Deck Of Questions: This article that I published this post on my birthday a few years ago was a wonderful personal lesson and joy to write. It almost appeared in the common "birthday format" of "lessons I've learned over the years." But I wondered just how absolute were these lessons. So, I rewrote the article as 52 questions to help reflect upon why we are doing what we do. Read the article on Medium --> HERE or on LinkedIn --> HERE

Availability And Rigidity: I pulled out a thought from ultra-endurance athlete and wellness advocate, Rich Roll, from a recent of podcast that beautifully encapsulates my own take-aways from the 7 questions in today's post. Wonderful words:

"...the idea of holding [a goal] loosely is important, because if you are too rigid, then you're short-circuiting your ability to be available for the miracle. The miracle does not show up in a prepackaged way on time as predicted. It doesn't work that way. It's a meandering path and you have to have that north star that's driving you... but also be available and open to the turns in the road along the way. Sometimes, those are the messages that lead you towards the greater opportunity that didn't even occur to you."

With gratitude,

-Joe

PS - Ready for your second wind? Explore and create midlife transitions with meaning and adventure! The only way to never miss my articles is to subscribe to Sunday Morning Joe - which you can do HERE.

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Joe Jacobi

Olympic Gold Medalist | Performance Coach | Author