9 Ways to Create Gratitude in Your Life

Being grateful (and expressing that gratitude) are habits that take practice like anything else — especially since we have so many years of repeated behavior in the opposite direction. Gratitude is a key skill in life because it addresses the one single thing every problem seems to have in common: that something is not enough in our lives.

Over my life I’ve really tried to incorporate gratitude as a habit and see the difference it can make. The result? I noticed a huge difference in how I handle problems and every-day situations — and most importantly how I bounce back from those that are very challenging.

For me it struck a chord when I realized that gratitude was the thing it always came back to.

I believe that literally every negative state that we experience can be cured (or at least managed well) by building a habit of being grateful — a habit of being on the lookout for how “enough” life is. When we focus on the current moment and the people around us, and letting that permeate our entire being, the situation at hand that was previously sapping it of all life begins to disappear.

It’s not easy, and certainly there’s challenges to that state of being lurking every day — around every corner, in every interaction. Something will always trigger you that the world, you, your partners, what you have, your future — that it’s all just not enough.

We all have our mechanics and reactions to things that we have to deal with, and those are OK and will be there for life. Transformation is not about undoing our humanity, but rather adapting to its imperfections and cultivating good habits. Life exists in the process, not in the outcome.

If problems like having an ego or being in scarcity mode worked in the same way that deleting apps on your phone does — living wouldn’t be as interesting and dynamic as it is. In other words, there is purpose to the struggle. Gratitude and its impact on our lives exists because those challenges are a persistent aspect of our reality.

The key is to build the supplemental behaviors and attitudes that help fortify you from sliding off the deep end when life (inevitably) happens — like when you are rushing to the store during your short work break to get food and you realize you left your wallet at home.

The human condition, despite its shortcomings, is something to be grateful for nonetheless. What would up be without down?

So, here’s a list of a few simple things that I’ve incorporated into my life over the years that have made a big difference. Maybe some of them can make a difference in yours, too. These simple things have helped me train my sense of observation for what’s “enough” in life rather than what’s not working, they have helped me to practice the expression of gratitude (different than being grateful) and overall maintain a healthier state of being even when there are plenty of reasons to spiral downward.

If you want to master these habits, I have a 10 day program I’ve created on this material with audio lessons, video lessons, a workbook and exclusive resources available for just $5. Check it out here.

#1: Invest Yourself

To clarify, this point is about investing yourself in others not investing in yourself (although you should always be doing that, too). A bit of context before we get to the main idea.

For most of my teenage years and through my 20’s, I had no idea that I was avoiding people. I used to pride myself on the fact that I didn’t have many friends, but the ones that I did have were “really good” — as if somehow that justified in my mind that most of the people I interacted with on a personal level (if I ever got to that point) were only getting surface level stuff in return.

Another good habit I developed was thinking that I was just too busy to socialize or try new things — priding myself on my productivity and huge ambitions in life as justification for what was really going on in the background.

As I later discovered, the truth was that I had been creating all the busy-ness so that I could have the excuse of being tired and grumpy and, therefore, not have to participate in any social interactions because, ultimately, I felt awkward or uncomfortable opening myself to new possibilities, listening to people, connecting and sharing myself.

But I believe that God is the one guiding our lives and in that sense there is always a purpose and always a direction. Maybe it isn’t one we aren’t fully aware of (or even enjoy), but it is always there. I eventually gained a window into looking at all of the things I would say to myself and I realized that, in fact, I was shutting people away and killing off what I wanted most: to have a genuine connection with someone. We all have self-sabotaging mechanisms that get in the way of living a life we love and, because they are hidden from our view, what we end up seeing instead are the fruits of those unhealthy roots: excuses, reasons, circumstances and explanations.

As I am glad I eventually learned, if you make a habit of accepting your own reasons all the time your life will just become reasonable — and there is a great difference between truly living and living according to your reasons (note: empowering reasons that give you an impetus for living are a different story).

And the truth is, being alive and living are two different things.

Most of the time we operate in survival mode. It is just my mechanics and your mechanics and we are just moving forward (or backward, for that matter). Life is fine, it works, has worked and will keep working. But there’s something missing, isn’t there?

That something missing is a genuine sense of belonging, connection, expression and creation.

All of these things happen when you are generous with yourself by allowing people and situations in your life — by being vulnerable and open to the possibilities around you, listening and taking all of it in fully. Participation in the present moment, the present conversation, the person in front of you — they all share an element of vulnerability and that is what #1 on this list is all about.

Up until a few years ago I never understood what it meant to just be with people — like truly be present with them, let them be and see what happens.

Your willingness to invest yourself in others, in your ideas, in meaningful commitments or collaborative projects and efforts — this is the key to living a life you love and building more gratitude.

Life begins on the other side of your comfort zone and its formula is simple: the more you invest yourself the more you have to be grateful for.

Invest yourself, invest yourself, invest yourself. Courage or foolishness, but regardless throw yourself in. Let people in, let opportunities in. Be curious, don’t write things off so quickly. Be willing. Try new things, ask questions to strangers and truly listen to what they have to say. Don’t be afraid to get personal and stop talking about meaningless crap on social media all the time.

Get real with people and share yourself, and encourage them to do the same. Be in someone else’s world for a change — you’ve already been in yours long enough — and you’ll see the magic of gratitude start to work in your life.

Ultimately, it will open the door to getting over yourself and seeing how many wonderful things and people there are around you, how valuable it is to have authentic connections with others and how lucky you are for truly living.

#2: Do Creative Stuff

For this one we’ll need another little bit of context.

Growing up as a kid I was blessed with a supportive mother who allowed me to explore a variety of creative outlets — drawing, painting, playing the piano, writing and later ballroom dancing. Despite all of these pursuits, I do not consider myself especially talented.

I believe that every human being has a creative gift that they can contribute to the world because God created man in His image, giving gifts to each of us so that we might enjoy what He has made and take joy in our relationship to Him. Finding alignment with this original purpose is one of the measures of a happy life.

Unfortunately en masse we are growing less and less creative — even though it seems our society is exploding with creativity. Is it really? We certainly have a lot of outlets for that energy, like social media, for example. But proportionately how much of the population is actually fulfilling on their gifts and how much is consuming other people’s creations or meaningless information?

With creation comes consumption, and you are either shaping the world or being shaped by it.

I was talking with my good friend once about this, that when we were kids most of the games we played were outside and required our imaginations. Back in elementary school, for example, we would play with dinosaurs and come up with all kinds of insane stories and games because that’s all we had.

These days, kids are inundated with information and stimulation from a young age. They consume someone else’s creativity rather than using their own imagination. And why not? Truly, it is much easier to get wrapped up in a sensational game or piece of content than to make your own.

As an adolescent I would waste more hours than I want to count on video games and media consumption. And while there’s nothing wrong with a little of that, eventually God calls you out of the shadows and asks you to contribute your own story to the mix instead of re-reading someone else’s all the time.

Being creative is a human tradition, it is essential in our makeup as being created in the image of the Creator. If you look at anything from dances to cave drawings, war paint, making pots, pelts — everyone found their place in the symphony of life. It is in our blood to make stuff — whether that stuff is art, tools or an article on being more grateful.

The main point here is that creativity and creative expression contribute more to your sense of gratitude than consumption does. So get in tune with your creative side.

In many my of podcast episodes and in the coaching work that I do with people I talk about using our creative energy productively. You do not have to be an artist to have creative energy — it’s already there inside you and it gets used up by default.

The question is — how do you want to spend your creative energy?

I know that when I’m in my element playing music, or writing, or thinking of new ideas — there’s just something so invigorating about it compared to the day-to-day consumption that goes on if I open my phone and tune into whatever’s going on.

This is because being creative puts you in tune with yourself and gives you a sense of confidence and self-worth.

Remember this — you are either helping to shape the world or being shaped by it. There is no middle ground. Unless you are willing to explore what you have to offer, what you like to do, what you are curious about — then the massive stream of capitalism that we are caught in will create your life and your identity for you.

Being creative gets you in tune with gratitude for life because you get to contribute to others with your gifts.

Creating and sharing go hand in hand, and we are always creating. Again, it’s not about talent — some people’s creative force is great at organization, while for others it is made for inspiring people or making them comfortable. Where sharing comes into play is what we discussed in #1: investing in yourself.

Being creative is about engaging life and being uncomfortable. In what sense? In the sense that you are willing to let go of the comfort of being a passive consumer and actually pursue something greater than yourself that is truly important to you.

You do not have to worry about where your creative talents are — they are already here.

You just have to get up and act on what you know deep down inside you want. What have you been curious about but your reasons or fears have told you that it can’t be done?

Your gratitude exercise for #2 is to go treat yourself to a nice notebook that makes you want to write stuff down in it and start listening to your creative brain. It will give you a window into a much more fulfilling life and that will only increase your gratitude in the long run — as well as your confidence and self-worth because of all the newfound sharing you will discover through investing yourself from #1.

#3: Go Outside

This one is obvious and you’ve probably seen it a million times but it is worth repeating.

Nature’s absolute magnificence will humble you, connect you to the bigger picture and slow you down — which is the perfect foundation for being more grateful for the miracle that is your life. We were created to live in a natural world and the natural world remind us of the Creator. This is why open, beautiful spaces are so refreshing to our soul, we get back to where we’re supposed to be.

Personally I’ve tried to adopt this strategy in a variety of ways — sometimes I like to ride my bike while others I just enjoy sitting in the jacuzzi staring at the night sky and wondering about random things.

In either case, taking time to see the big picture is something super important in today’s world of constant details and stress.

Today we live in a world of increasing micro-transactions and that makes our left, analytical brains go on over-drive. Sitting down and just observing nature in a quiet spot is a luxury in such a hectic environment — and truly important for building more gratitude in our lives because it’s those little transactions and an overactive analytical brain that trigger the “not enough” mode in your being.

When you are sitting and just enjoying nature — there is no such thing as “not enough time” or “not enough money” or all of these “not enoughs” that we constantly have nagging us on a day to day basis in the hustle and bustle of city life. No notifications, either. It’s just quiet and it just is.

There is a filling nature to nature. You feel full of experience — nothing is lacking, and the natural expression of something full is to overflow and give, which is why gratitude and generosity are so intertwined.

Nature also has incredible harmony, mathematics, symmetry, purpose, alignment, balance — all of these things when you take time to observe them remind you that you are part of a greater system with an intelligent, beautiful and caring Creator behind it all. These things are designed to point us back into a relationship with the One who made us and that sense of belonging also helps you to be grateful for life in general because it is a precious gift.

Nature will always give you the bigger picture, and that bigger picture is gratitude.

#4: Talk to Plants

When I lived in a condo I bought a bunch of easy-to-care-for plants to help filter the air like Aloe, Jasmine, and so on. In the process of taking care of my new green companions, I developed an interesting habit: expressing my gratitude to them.

I started to express my gratitude to them for doing what they do, calling them beautiful and treating them with love and kindness — they are living beings after all.

I realized in this process that plants are an excellent way to build more gratitude in your life because they are…guess what…easy to talk to! They don’t talk back, they don’t judge you and they are super approachable. They don’t complain, and they give themselves fully to the relationship. They are just awesome.

All joking aside, I’m very grateful to my plants today because I realized that I can have a connection with something I did not consider a possibility for in the past. Plants were just a “thing” to me, not a living being that I could express my gratitude to — and expression is the key to solidifying any gratitude in your life. Being grateful is not complete until you have expressed that gratitude somewhere — a person, a letter or an your friendly Aloe Vera plant.

#5: Pray

A (tiny) bit of context.

I grew up Romanian Orthodox, was an altar boy for several years and for 12 years of my life I had Catholic education in school. Praying was a habit that was definitely in my life, but for the most part I treated it like a chore. Today praying is a regular part of my life and relationship to Jesus as a Christian.

It wasn’t until later in my life that I learned how to pray and why we pray.

Praying has a religious connotation to it, but in reality it is much older than religion. To pray is our ability to commune with God, express ourselves authentically, listen and — most importantly — express gratitude.

Like many people, I used to pray to get something. We see God as this infinite piggy bank or genie’s lamp that we can tap into, but that is just the influence of capitalism on something much more divine and deeply rooted in our psyche.

Praying is about connecting to God and, through the experience, allowing ourselves to let Him lead our lives. We get answers, ideas, information and wisdom from prayer that is so profound it catalyzes important changes in our spirit.

Prayer helps you get in tune with humility, because acknowledging that there is a Creator is the first step in being humble.

And humility naturally leads to gratitude because they are like the front and back of a hand with one another. You cannot be grateful if you are arrogant. Prayer is the answer, and I encourage you to create your own way of doing it — whether that is on your knees in a church or during a morning silence on your patio with some espresso and a few birds as company.

It gives you a great outlet to clear your day, connect to something greater and a lot of other great things which overall just help you get over yourself and the problems that are shifting your view of the world that your life is anything but a miracle.

#6: Acknowledge Others

Gratitude has to be expressed for it to be alive in your life, and one of the best ways to do that is to make a habit of acknowledging the people around you.

But first you have to confront the reality that resists this simple, yet beautiful practice.

In general we like to enlarge our dramas and minimize our successes. We write off times when we are vulnerable and don’t talk about them, quickly skirting away back to comfortable, meaningless discussion about something other than ourselves. When it comes to acknowledging others or even ourselves — we put our acknowledgement through so many screens that it never makes it’s way out of our mouths.

“This isn’t that important.”

Just like with generosity, we make requirements on who should get our acknowledgement and who shouldn’t. One of the most transformative practices I have learned is to acknowledge those in my life that have hurt me or otherwise created something unpleasant for me. Why? In this way, I can help to re-create that area of my life into one of power rather than leaving it at the point it was before — draining it all away. The best part is you don’t even need to do this acknowledgement in person, it is at a most fundamental level something that shifts in your mind to turn a wound into a source of gratitude.

It costs you nothing to acknowledge another, and in doing so you gain presence to how grateful you are for that relationship.

As a dance teacher, I would have a lot of relationships to manage over the course of each year. Each came with their specific challenges, goals, outcomes, stuff I had to do and so on. In the process, it is easy to get caught up in all that doing and creating the future stuff that you forget to just be grateful that person is in your life.

This is why I’ve made a habit of writing each of my students a personalized thank you note at the end of the year — to express my gratitude and to remind myself who that person is in my life.

Nothing can be erased once it has happened, but we are creating constantly and you can create a layer of gratitude over any layer of hurt or suffering or dissatisfaction in your life with anyone — just by practicing acknowledgement of others.

A final thing about acknowledgement is this: learn to be expressive with your words. Gratitude is not an area to be stingy with language. “I’m thankful” and being curt with your acknowledgements or expression is really cutting yourself short in being fully present to what you are grateful for.

You don’t need to suddenly start writing poetry, but forget how you will look if finding words is harder for you and just push yourself to explore that feeling for a little while longer — words are our gateway into an experience and the more detailed you train your brain to express, the more impact it will make on you and those around you.

Be specific and dare to be bold with your language — it will be a great practice of investing yourself and building that gratitude.

#7: Make Gratitude Lists

Writing is a powerful tool for training the brain and making lists of the people you are thankful for (and why) will guaranteed help you build a habit of gratitude and change your worldview.

We get so caught up with everything that happens that most of the time our brains just access short-term information and data about the people in our lives. We forget when they helped us or when we shared fond memories in the midst of a short-term crisis or information overload. Whatever happened recently is what reality is.

We literally lose touch with the real important moments because they are usually few and far between thousands and thousands of mundane ones.

This is why it’s important to make a gratitude list. One year when I made my list for Thanksgiving of the people I was thankful to have in my life, I had forgotten how many relationships I’ve had for so many years. Friends for a decade or more — and so many of them still in my life. These are things that you forget on a day to day basis because your brain is just not equipped to remember information that way, and that’s why making a habit of getting present to those things occasionally will transform your relationship with gratitude.

Make lists of the people you are thankful for, the accomplishments you are proud of, the memories you are lucky to have had (even the not so savory ones — those gave you some good life lessons).

As with acknowledgement, be generous and specific with your language. Expressing gratitude is usually uncomfortable at first, so do not let yourself cop out of it with a quick, short statement. Be vulnerable, be uncomfortable and be authentic about what that person really means to you and why.

#8: Do Something for Someone

Random acts of kindness are what this world needs more of — and it can help to spread gratitude to someone desperately in need of it.

The reality is that sometimes we just get stuck in all of our self-defeating mechanisms and we need help to get out. Doing something kind for someone can be that extra boost they needed that day and it is impossible to measure how that will impact the world.

I remember going to IKEA once and helping someone load their car up just because I could. Minutes later when I ended up needing help with my stuff, someone came along and it honestly made my day. Little acts of kindness go a long way, and when you do something for someone else you leave all the crap that’s in your reality alone and become present to all the love and gratitude that is waiting for you on the other side.

#9: Re-frame

The final thing in this non-exhaustive list is re-framing. Gratitude is essentially re-framing a problem of “not enough” and it first starts with observation.

You have to build the habit of observing your behavior and monitoring your state of being. The better you get at detecting when you are emotionally off, the better you can be at re-framing.

What is re-framing? Ultimately everything that we experience as a problem is somehow languaged in our minds. A frame is a point of view, a linguistic construct of how the person or situation occurs to you. Your flat tire isn’t “stupid”, it’s just flat. You could also re-frame the situation into how grateful you are for having had a tire take you so long to all the places that were important to you when many parts of the world don’t have that luxury.

Re-framing is taking a different point of view, a different language to a situation and allowing that in over the original problem.

With gratitude, you have to develop a sharp sense of when you are in survival mode — constantly looking to cut corners, shortage-minded, conserving yourself, not being vulnerable or generous and so on. In those situations, you need to stop, breathe and when your mind has become clearer begin practicing gratitude.

Find the one thing to be grateful for (even though there are many) and even if there is just that one tiny thing — let that become what you focus on and re-write over that situation or person rather than the myriads of other negative thoughts that are readily there eager to take the space.

Out of all these habits, re-framing is one of the most difficult.

It’s the most difficult because re-framing something means you must be willing to let go of your feelings about the situation or person, even if you’re justified, and willing to let go that that’s how reality is and there’s just no way around it. In other words, we must be able to forgive.

Only when things are not rigid can they be moved around.

The greatest irony is we all carry a bag of bricks, but rarely do we actually want to let them go. Making a habit out of re-framing situations with gratitude will keep the load light and prevent nastier things from setting roots in your mind like cynicism and despair.

The mind is a garden, and we must be a vigilant gardener monitoring what grows in it dutifully.

I hope you’ve enjoyed my list, I’ve enjoyed writing it — it’s gotten me more present to these things in my life and as always when I write it’s a great reminder. So, I am grateful to you for reading it and giving me a platform to express what I believe. Thank you.

In the end, all roads lead to — we all want love and fulfillment in our lives and gratitude is one of the necessary pillars of creating more of those things. I hope this has helped to spark some creativity with your own gratitude practice, I know it certainly did in mine.

If you want to master these habits, I have a 10 day program I’ve created on this material with audio lessons, video lessons, a workbook and exclusive resources available for just $5. Check it out here.