“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.”

“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.” An honest personal heartfelt feeling at the start of today- Today is #WorldSuicidePreventionDay. Saying a prayer and lighting a candle for whoever needs one or anyone that is worried or in pain at this time. Its OK to be not OK but its also Ok to ask for help or to talk to someone you trust or who cares for you. Today is world suicide prevention day. Mind yourself, look after yourself and your loved ones and friends and love others . Mind others, look after others and love others. If not feeling ok that's ok, it can be ok to be not ok, but please do talk about it. Let's smash the stigma that surrounds us all! Today is World Suicide Prevention Day, talk to a family member, a friend, a neighbour, a relative, a colleague and ask them if they're doing ok. Mental illness is often easy to conceal, but never easy to escape.🎗

A Honest Personal Feeling at the start of the week..................

I love this quote by Leo Buscaglia about loving oneself which goes as follows, “Love yourself—accept 

yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful and amazing things.” Suicide is claiming the lives of at least 700 or more people each year in Ireland which is so frightening that it has become such an option especially for so many young people. Also a recent Europe-wide report earlier this year found that Ireland has the highest rate of suicide in young females in Europe with the second highest rate of suicide in young males. It’s important for everyone of us to know that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". It’s important for all of us to know that there is help out there with various Charities, Churches and HSE programmes. It's important for all of us to know that we can go to our GP for appropriate assessment and treatment or to trained counsellors and professionals provided by the many schools, universities and various charities if we are in need of help and support. People and I mean me and you, all of us need to have a chat, to have a conversation, to have a walk and talk with ourselves and with each other!!!!

Be Open

Let me be honest with you as I write this reflection at the start of this week, which I always do after I have lit a candle and said a prayer for all who will read it. I am definitely not okay at times. At times I need help. I need support. I need care. I need love. At times I feel wrecked. There I said it!! We should all say it and have a good honest to God chat about how we feel at times, At times I am not okay. I do get stressed, and I am a total worrier. I worry about my family. I worry about my friends. I worry about my work colleagues and I worry about the things I have to achieve with work. At times I am sad and somethimes confused. I can be distant. At times I worry that I may not have the resources or wisdom to help my family through the journey of life. Indeed there are times when I feel alone albeit that I am surrounded by loving and caring people. I get upset about things in life and in our world, particularly injustice in society. So at times I am not okay. At times we are all not okay. And you know what. That’s okay. Because I know I won’t always feel this way. As my good friend David says to me regularly during our weekly get together's in Crowe's Bar, "This too shall pass." Giving myself time, I will figure things out. I will discover or rediscover my purpose or focus in life. I will be okay. I am lucky because feeling sad or down is temporary for me, and while I am regularly stressed and worried, I know I will be okay. What I have found out as I approach my 52nd year, is that sometimes society isn’t too keen on shows of weakness. We are expected to be the picture of health, fitness, beauty and knowledge. There is a lot of pressure on each of us. We must be strong and determined. We put pressure on ourselves to be perfect all the time although that pressure may come from others, a family member, a friend, a colleague, although they might not even know they are doing it, but you know it and you feel it. I personally find it exhausting trying to live up to that expectation. At times I don’t know why I keep trying. As well as that, I have always been self-critical. I beat myself up over tiny things, the smallest mistakes. I have a large blackthorn stick as my friend David would say to me, that although it's imaginary I beat myself up with it daily. I’ll over analyze conversations and events, wondering if I said the wrong thing and what the other person thinks of me now. I lose sleep over decisions even the one's I made years ago, wondering what I could have done differently or said differently. I have let people down especially those closest to me at times. I often get wrapped up in trying to be perfect, in trying to please everyone around me except those who mean the world to me, my family and close friends. I have to regularly remind myself that it’s a fruitless cause. Perfection doesn’t exist although at times you try to convince yourself it does. You can’t make everyone happy all the time. And I’m learning that that’s okay even if I have already spent almost 53 years in this world of ours on this journey called Life trying to do exactly that!! I am learning to forgive myself for not being perfect. And I’m learning to forgive myself for not always being okay. Because right now as I write this thought for the week, I’m not. But I also know that I have the ability to change that and that who I am makes a difference for good in our world.

Who I am makes a Difference

"A teacher in a school decided to honor each of her Leaving Cert students by telling them the difference they each made. First she told them how each student made a difference to her and the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon imprinted on it, "Who I Am Makes a Difference." Afterwards the teacher decided to do a class project to see what kind of impact, ‘recognition’ would have on a community. She gave each of the students three more ribbons and instructed them to go out and spread this acknowledgment recognition ceremony. One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby company and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon. Then he gave him two extra blue ribbons, and said, "We're doing a class project on recognition, and we'd like you to go out, find somebody to honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person to keep this acknowledgment recognition ceremony going." Later that day the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had been noted as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He told his boss that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon. His surprised boss said, “Well, sure." The junior executive placed the blue ribbon on his boss's jacket. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said, "Would you take this extra ribbon and pass it on by honoring somebody else? The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects people." That night the boss came home to his young daughter and sat her down. He said, "The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me and gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine. He thinks I'm a creative genius." Then he put this blue ribbon that says "Who I Am Makes a Difference" on my jacket. He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else to honor. As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honor with this ribbon and I thought about you. "My days are really hectic and when I come home I don't pay a lot of attention to you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough marks in school and for your bedroom being a mess, but somehow tonight, I just wanted to sit here and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me. Besides your mother, you are the most important person in my life. You're a great child and I love you so much!" The startled girl couldn't stop crying. Her whole body shook. She looked up at her father and said through her tears, "I was planning on doing something really bad to myself tomorrow, Dad, because I didn't think you loved me. Now I don't need to because I know you truly do."

Be Honest

I have found out over time that it is so important to acknowledge to yourself how you are truly feeling. Also, to check how your family, friends and colleagues are feeling at times. It is so important to not only identify, but also to verify our feelings. Be honest about how you feel even if you don’t think people will understand or relate or care. I can’t count the number of times someone has asked me how I am and I respond with “I am good” or "I am the finest" when I’m really not. It’s my automatic response to that type of question. And it doesn’t do me any good. It doesn’t make me feel better, sometimes I feel worse for not being honest. I try to go to my local church mass every evening, if I am in Galway, and it is there that I have my chat with God!!! I learn to acknowledge the negative feelings and offer them up. I have learned not to be afraid to admit that I am having a bad day or a rough week, or a hard month. It’s okay. We all have them at some point. That's life as they say. What I’m still learning to do though, is not sink into the feeling. That’s when it becomes difficult for me to get out of the situation or rut that I might find myself in. I remind myself that I will feel better at some point and my personal faith in God through prayer helps me get myself back out of the dark place that I might be in and out into the light again. A few other things that help me is, a good night sleep usually does the trick. Or going for a walk or a run. Or wiriting things out on paper or doing what I am doing now, writing a thought for the week. Sometimes I call one of my closest friend's Paul, because I know he will tell me jokes and lift my spirits. It's important, I think, well in my case anyway to find something that works for you so you don’t get stuck in the “not okayness” for too long. The motto for the "Cycle against Suicide" Charity which is in motion around Ireland as I write says, "It’s okay to not be okay", I have found during this journey of life that it's alright to reach out to people and say, "hey I’m kind of in a bad way here right now and I was wondering if you could say an extra prayer for me or light a candle for me or give me one of your great hug's or I need your ear for a few hours can you listen?" It’s okay for us to answer to the question, "How are things?" to say “not so good, can you help me out?”. It’s okay to let people see you cry, it doesn’t mean you are weak, it means you have enough courage to not hide who you are. It’s okay to need someone to sit with you in silence for awhile just because you can’t be alone. It’s okay to have those days where you don’t accomplish anything because you just don’t want to go out the front door. What’s not okay is not wanting it to change. What's not okay is not asking for help and support. So please reach out for help, say a prayer, light a candle, sing out loud to your favourite song, enjoy some coffee or tea with a good and close friend, read one of your favourite book's, call a friend and don't be afraid to get help from a charity or from a professional body. I really believe the saying a problem shared can be a problem halved and when we share our problems with someone who truly cares, or with a qualified professional we can get help and support. Then go take on the world because, you know you can do it. “Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful and amazing things.”

Always remember, everything will be okay if we love and believe in ourselves, and understand that hope floats around us and when we can we should always spread that hope and love with others especially those who mean the most to us. Also know that the best of help can be got from contacting some of Ireland's best charities and organisations in the Samaritans, Pieta House, Aware, Jigsaw, St. Vincent de Paul, your local GP's, your local religious, Chaplain's, HSE groups and various qualified counsellors, your close friends and family members who love you. Today (Tuesday) is World Suicide Prevention Day And September is world suicide prevention month. Please remember to check in on your friends and family—including the strong ones........

“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.”