The Aloha Friday Newsletter

Given that this week has been very difficult for many of us, it doesn’t feel right to start this newsletter with Happy Aloha Friday.

Instead, I’d like to take this moment to invite you to take a deep breath and allow a little of that burden to lift from your shoulders, just for a bit.

Okay, with that moment of peace, I do feel I need to share my thoughts on the recent outcome of the presidential election.

I am digging DEEP right now. Mostly, holding space for others, especially women, and even more pronounced, women who don’t look like me. I will never know what it is like to be a woman of color or a member of the LGBTQ+ community. I am, however, a mother of two daughters, both of who identify as Queer. I have been an advocate and ally for those who have been mistreated, underserved, and underrepresented since I was a small child. I am a survivor of many deaths around me, starting from the time I was 20 when my totally blind and badass sister passed from ovarian cancer. 

I am the creator of my path, stemming from an unstable childhood with a blind sister, bipolar mother, and emotionally unavailable father, who I believed was my hero and savior, except for the fact that he most definitely was not. I was and am my best friend, self-advocate, and today, proudly flying my flag of my own unique identity while helping others, especially women, to break on through to the other side. (Shout out to all of you who understood that reference!)  

This newsletter, and particularly, this edition of the newsletter, comes at a time when we are polarized in a way that I cannot recall ever being. It is soul-crushing to feel how fear is ruling the day, the narrative, and the people who we choose to lead us. When we are afraid, truly fearful, of change, progress, or taking calculated risks, we put ourselves at a true disadvantage. When we operate from fear - whether that be fear for ourselves, our children, and/or our values - we fall into the trap of looking for the easy answers. And the easy answer says to focus on what divides us. On how we’re different. The others, whomever you other, they are the root of the problem, and if we bully, shame, and eradicate them, then, (and only then!) will we feel safe.

This is how society and community disintegrate. Continuing to treat other human beings who have hearts, minds, and souls, who have daily needs and needs for security that they deserve to have, as an amorphous, dangerous “other,” erases compassion. It erases empathy. It creates a faceless mob who are all out to get you. It puts us at war. (“The enemy within.” What a joke.)

In war, the only winners are those already in positions of power who grow richer, fatter, and more powerful while we destroy one another. 

What we have in common is the key. Compassion is key. Seeing each other as human is key. You want to stick it to “The Man?” You want to uproot this clearly broken system? Don’t play the game. Stop operating out of fear.

It was fear that elected a demagogue to be our next president. And it was fear that convinced people to choose a felon with multiple convictions for president over a mixed-race woman who wasn’t perfect enough. 

And that is why, more than ever, we need to invest in, believe in, and support women.

Some say that the way to help women earn a living is by giving them access to markets and community resources. Others say that women don't need sympathy or advice, but rather solidarity and the resources to make their visions a reality. Others, like myself, seed women, the current and next-gen, so that they are able to make the world a better place for all, not only themselves.

Here is my challenge to you! I am already practicing what I preach. I AM seeding women by writing books like “B is For Burnout Not B*tch” and championing Indigenous women to take part in the Bloom Women’s Leadership Coaching Groups to develop their skills, share their critical voices, and educate others about their journey.

What are you doing?   

Look at your life, your time spent, and your passions. Take a moment, or a minute to stop what you're doing and make a path towards helping one woman by offering a hand, a meal, a class, a night out on the town while you babysit, dog sit, something, anything that helps her. When it is HER time to fish, she will feed the village. Look at my hero Kimi Werner. She literally feeds people by fishing! She shows us what a slower life filled with family, wellbeing, community, friends, and work (in that order perhaps) looks like when well-integrated. (YOu can check out her talk here.)

If you are low, go high. If you are worried, take more deep breaths, and exhale ALL THE WAY. If you are stuck, ask for a hand. No matter your gender or how you identify, you are more than capable of doing something. Do it today, right now, and make a difference in the life of another, especially a woman that you know who is ready to make a difference. She may simply need YOU to be a little wind beneath her wings.

Now, watch her soar.   

With All the Love and Light,