August - facing our fears
Welcome to August and your monthly nudge of positive energy, a communication designed to help you stop and think about what you want to focus on this month, what you need to do to gain that positive energy flow.
Try something new, let go of something that doesn't serve you! Don't hold back! With positive energy the world opens up, our minds feel lighter, our bodies have more to give, we become more open to new possibilities.
Check out the alcohol free boost in the second part of the newsletter!
A month of calm: embracing those moments to rest and reset
In August we escape to France. Just writing that makes me feel extremely grateful for the ability to do that. The reason behind it is we found a place that calms Tilly. For newcomers to my newsletter Tilly has a rare chromosome disorder. Morzine, in the French alps, provides a place where we can come and remove ourselves from the hectic summer antics of home which Tilly would struggle with. So we swim in the lakes, walk in the mountains and relax. I realised over the last four years it's all about perspective. In my drinking days I would polish off a fair few bottles of rose wine here - I was of course on holiday! I didn't make the most of my surroundings. I didn't swim and run as much as I would have wanted. I didn't indulge the kids in early evening swims to the lake or evening walks to the river - that would have been my wine time. The upsets with the children were magnified, the recovery time long. Just yesterday evening my son asked to go to the lake at 7pm. The days at the lake are incredibly packed at the moment but we arrived just after 7pm to an empty glass flat lake. We had a brilliant time!
Four years ago marked my first Alcohol free holiday right here in Morzine and it was the start of me considering my own wellbeing. So now whenever I come back here I try to reset and I really have learnt to relax here. I have swum every day, run on a number of days, enjoyed the dog walks (Pepper's first time here!) and been to the lake in the early evening at my children's request. We are having fun! I used to find holidays such a strain. When you use alcohol to ease stress as I did I am pretty sure the mind exaggerates the stress to clear the path to drink. Maybe we are all growing up but most likely the lack of alcohol makes everything easier. So wherever you are this summer don't forget to make the most of the opportunity to rest and reset. My goal is to then bring my rest time back to the UK for as long as I can! Why can't we take elements of holiday mode into everyday life! Why not note down the elements of holiday that you really love and think how you might incorporate them into your every day life.
It's all about perspective
I am realising that life's output is definitely about perspective i.e. the view points, the mood, the energy that you put into it. I used to struggle with perspective daily but now I really notice that on the days that I wake up and own it, they are the days that I feel stronger. Those are the days that I can engage with my children with the authentic me, engage with my clients with focus, feel mentally strong. I am challenged multiple times in the day as we all are. So I work on my perspective every day and have found a few tools that have helped.
Journaling - it isn't worthy of publication, it doesn't always make sense, but by taking time to reflect on the day before - to reflect on the wins, the learnings (they would have been labelled as negative experiences before) , to consider what I value and my actions, I find it so incredibly energising. I would love to show you my journal template and process if you would like to try it for yourself
Breathing - I am rereading "I may be wrong" by Bjorn Natthiko Lindeblad. He was the youngest CFO in Sweden and gave it all up to spend 17 years in the jungles of Thailand living as a monk. I will touch on his book further but for now I just wanted to mention one thing that he talks about early on - awareness. He prefers the term to mindfulness as he believes the latter term contradicts what it is trying to achieve - a clear mind not a full mind. He speaks of awareness of our present and being in that moment but using breathing to do that. Breathing acts as a distraction to our thoughts and brings us back to right now because we are breathing right now. It really does work. I have dabbled with meditation apps but I realise if you can tune into your breath you can do this at any time. It relieves stress, it refocuses your mind, it changes your state.
Stoicism - this ancient Greek philosophy has been a game changer for me, made accessible in the modern day by Ryan Holiday, author of The Daily Stoic and other books that have helped bring this philosophy into the modern world. One of the stoic concepts - that we can control nothing in life except how we respond to situations - was a game changer to me. That and the concept that what we experience in life makes us stronger - it flipped some of my experiences on their head. I have written a blog post about stoicism if you would like to read more. Click HERE to read.
Equity in plain sight
This is the first year we have properly started being able to do things as a family as Tilly really wants to get stuck in! My change in perspective makes me realise we absolutely can do things together I just don't expect them to go a certain way thereby removing the weight of expectation. So we went canyoning! This was out of my comfort zone but it turned out to be a brilliant experience! I was so worried about Tilly being able to do certain tasks but we had the most incredible instructor who adapted the descents so he was in control. I couldn't believe it. I was watching equity in plain site - adapting to her needs to we all experienced it together.
Facing my fears & realising a bit of fear kerbs the worry mind
I have a fear of heights. Canyoning was my first challenge and thanks to the instructor telling me to do it for my daughter I jumped off a rock - the jumping thing is the worst for me as there is no going back (gravity doing its thing). But spurred on by that daring feat I signed up to the Via Ferrata with my youngest. For those that don't know, Via Ferratas are protected climbing routes found in the Alps. The protection includes steel fixtures which the climber can either hold onto or clip into. That day, hanging for dear life off the side of a cliff side in Avoriaz (not super high but still!) I realised the total focus that fear instils, the adrenalin that comes from overcoming the fears and the bonding that winning 5 euros from your son (he bet that I wouldn't look down).
It happened again I was launched up a mountain in a bubble car ( like a cable car but smaller) that you really can't worry about wider problems and be terrified in the moment at the same time. I realised as I was clinging to the side of a mountain with the view of my son chuckling at me in my peripheral vision that you can't be ruminating about life or catastrophising about some unlikely event whilst worrying about how the hell you safely get down from a mountain.
SO WHAT WILL BE YOUR FOCUS FOR AUGUST? The key four
As always, it's repetitive but I think it's important and if you agree let's go!!! Here are mine.
Daily wins: This is part of my daily journaling but try reflecting on those recent successes to help change your perspective. However small.
So let's get going into August. If you would like a copy of this template just click here
We have been coming to Morzine for ten years. How I view it now is totally different. For one thing I have swapped rose wine for hot chocolate- bit warm for it to be honest but the sweet tooth is still a problem! Sober holidays totally rock - for all of the reasons I stated above. I am so much more adventurous, the days are so much longer, I have so much more energy. If you are worrying about a pending holiday and doing it sober fear not! Go with a positive mindset and the world opens up!
WANT TO GET IN TOUCH?
As always I would love to hear from you if you are interested in the alcohol free space or positive energy coaching, either for individual or organisation. I offer a free 15 minute clarity call to talk through the best way I can support you. Or take a look at the options below:
Or send me an email:
sam@samantharoome.co.uk