Sober October

I have a confession to make. My self care has rather gone out of the window. I am currently writing a book to support giving up alcohol. It has been a four year project but I am in the process of bringing it all together and it is taking all of my spare time these past 6 weeks! I am so excited about sharing it with the world. I am also testing elements of the book on a small cohort of individuals who wanted to try sober October. So it has been a really busy couple of months. I decided to make this month's positive energy boost about alcohol because of Sober October and because, when I am constantly writing about the wonders of taking a break, I decided this was a missed opportunity. Also being that it was world mental health day yesterday I believe removing alcohol can be the biggest boost to your mental health if you have a drinking habit.

Normalising the conversation

Alcohol is a drug and so as with any drug, it will react differently for everyone as we are none of us the same.  Our life make up is different, our perception of life, health, childhood, financial situation, place in society, environment, life events, physical traits.  It all comes together to create us as individuals.  So how can alcohol possibly affect us all in the same way? We of course know it doesn't. When the brain reaction mixes with our mind's perception it can create any combination of results.

The story that society conveys is bonkers and this means we have to double down our efforts to create that alternative story if the alcohol one isn’t working. A more powerful story with a much better ending.

I really bought into the vision of a happy alcohol consuming culture and believed it left only two sides of the fence: In control or alcohol dependent. No middle ground. You were either a "normal" drinker or you had a problem. 

“I believe that there is an element of fear around one side of the fence. We know that side destroys lives and is socially unacceptable so I would argue that we are almost forced to sit on the other side of the fence pretending we can handle our drink and that we are enjoying it.”

So if we could just be more open to how damaging alcohol be and more honest about how addictive it is so people don't feel like they have failed when they do go down the more habitual route, we could support a lot more people.

So what does actually happen to us when we drink alcohol. Here follows a brief snippet:

 The brain

Alcohol changes your brain chemistry. When alcohol enters the bloodstream, it also affects the nervous system and brain cells, and causes brain functions to produce more happy hormones - neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in your brain) such as serotonin and dopamine. Serotonin is utilised by the brain to enable normal behavioural functions such as eating and sleeping. It makes you feel calm. Dopamine is your reward system. It makes you feel pleasure, satisfaction and motivation. Dopamine also encourages you to repeat the same action in the future as your brain perceives it as a good thing and as something that is helping you.  Dopamine also impacts memory as, through evolution, it has had to build memories of what it perceives as “helpful” to survival.  So addictive substances hijack our natural reward system and this can lead to the cycle of dependence as your brain continues to seek that same pleasure feeling. 

Alcohol also increases production of a chemical messenger called GABA which is an inhibitory neurotransmitter - it slows down parts of the brain. This makes you think more slowly which can stop you feeling nervous. It essentially dulls your senses which can feel useful in a stress inducing situation - new crowd of people, if you are naturally nervous, wanting to relax after a long day etc.

So feeling relaxed and happy, where is the problem.

1. the next day after a heavy night of drinking you experience hangxiety - the anxious feeling that results from your brain rebalancing the level of chemicals and removing them so you actually have less than you started with. This can take a few days to recover from.
2. Do it habitually and the brain responds by reducing the number of receptors that allow the chemicals in. It wants to rebalance you. So you essentially have to drink more to get the same effect.

The human vs the chimp

So there is what is happening in our brain and then we introduce the impact on the mind. Professor Stephen Peters talks about our three brains in his book "the chimp paradox":

our human - who makes all the rational decisions and wants us to do the right thing whatever that means to us,

our chimp - our irrational, spontaneous brain who wants a quick fix and doesn't think about consequences, who worries irrationally, who catastrophises

our computer - stores all of our habits, memories so we can reflect back to them and extract the program when needed

All three brains play a massive part in the sober experience. In short your human might have told you it's a good idea to cut back on drinking. Simple. Except your computer has stored some extremely biased memories around alcohol and, influenced by society, has labelled it as the essential companion for many occasions and moods. So your chimp will step in when you are triggered and really encourage you to have that drink. I spend a lot of time working on the mind in my coaching because I believe it is so so important to understand that once you get beyond the physical triggers, what is triggering you becomes all in the mind. It's working through that piece that will enable you to make the change.

What will I gain if I quit

Well the list is frankly endless. The gains will of course also be personal to you but here are a few that I have noticed for starters: 

• Reduced anxiety
• Improved sleep
• No brain fog
• No lost hours
• Increased confidence - believe me
• Improved health
• Improved relationships
• Improved outlook on life
• Reduced depressive feelings
• Improved work concentration
• Improved work performance
• No wasted "recovery" time
• More observant
• Able to cope with life’s ups and downs better
• More even tempered
• More money 
• More grateful - this is a personal one but I am so much more grateful as I am so much more present in my life

What you might lose? 

To keep it balanced of course I must acknowledge here any potential downsides to removing alcohol although I have to chuckle when I write that as I don’t personally believe there are any. But if you are new to this the following have been highlighted as possible concerns when one might be considering navigating a path without booze and I have to address them as I don’t want them to pose as a barrier further down the line:

• The instant relax Alcohol increases the inhibitory neurotransmitters in the brain which give you the relaxed feeling - and if you continued to only receive more of that feeling then I wouldn't have written this book. I loved that initial relaxed feeling. I just wish it hadn't taken me so many years to acknowledge the negative side effects that came with it. You can still get to that relaxed feeling but you might just have to work at it in those early days. Alcohol is a chemical stimulant. Relaxing naturally just takes longer in the early days.
• Confidence - yes the increase in GABA the relaxing neurotransmitter in the brain does give you that feeling of confidence as your inhibitions are essentially numbed. But it is confidence from reduced awareness.   It is confidence from numbing your senses so it is totally false confidence.
• Escape - The feeling of escape is so short lived and comes at a massive price that it really isn’t worth it.
• Not seeing friends - it is true that we mainly associate seeing people with drinking so you might worry you will become a social recluse. I have found the opposite to be true and am busier than ever, finding new and interesting ways to socialise.  You become so much more creative when you stop drinking.

I tackle all of these perceived losses when I look at “ambivalence” and “triggers and cravings” with clients. We soon banish those thoughts.

I hope you have gained something from reading this, whether to support the conversation around alcohol or because you are sober curious.

 WANT TO GET IN TOUCH?

As always I would love to hear from you if you are interested in the alcohol free space or positive energy coaching, either for individual or organisation. I offer a free 15 minute clarity call to talk through the best way I can support you. Or take a look at the options below:

• For my online course click here. It combines self paced with face to face check ins
• For 1:1 coaching click here

Or send me an email:

sam@samantharoome.co.uk

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