The Authenticity Dilemma

The balancing act of being authentic

Being authentic is considered an important and valuable leadership attribute. Typically, we think of being authentic as being genuine, sincere, and true to ourselves – as simple as that! In reality, however, being authentic is not that simple.

Is it good to always be authentic? The simple answer is Yes! From my experience though in business as well as in my recent capacity as an executive coach, I struggled to convince myself that it is effective to always be authentic. This struggle has raised several questions for me:

    How authentic should I be as a leader or as a coach for that matter?

    How much of my true self, my feelings, my beliefs and values do I share and when?

    How do I balance how authentic should I be in each and every situation?    

I would presume that many of us are faced with this authenticity dilemma. In the very early stages of our lives, parents, educators, and mentors advise us to be honest, be who we are, be true to ourselves . . . be authentic. Many times however we find ourselves having to adapt and flex our style to be effective and successful. This to me implies that we need to adjust / modify our actions and in many cases our mindset to fit into the ‘system’.

Authenticity is very relevant to how we manage our careers, especially as we move up the career ladder.  As different roles have different demands, challenges, expectations, and pressures, we usually feel that our authenticity is tested.  Saying too much or too little about what we think early on, could have negative consequences. . First impressions form quickly and we may lose our effectiveness and authority as leaders if we disclose everything we believe/feel when we are new to a role and our credibility is unproven. Thus, we tend to hold back, which may result in feeling inconsistent, perhaps even insincere, and that our true self is compromised. However, I would argue that this unpleasant feeling is temporary and is created every time we get out of our comfort zone and we’re on our way into the growth/development zones. We need to strike a balance!

So how do we manage this delicate balance? How do we change our leadership identity every time we move on to bigger and better things while preserving our authenticity? Drawing from my experiences and my recent career change, here are four general principles/habits I recommend following:

Increase your self-awareness and admit your ignorance

Challenge yourself by taking on new projects. At the same time, be open minded and culturally sensitive. Be aware of your strengths, your emotions, and your limitations. This self-awareness will regulate your responses/behavior. Ask questions and don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know” or “I made a mistake”. Authenticity is about acknowledging and accepting your weaknesses and shortcomings with courage and continuing to learn and improve.

Surround yourself with a diverse group of people

Be unbiased, respect and accept diversity and opposing views. Build a diverse team, develop honest relationships, and promote openness. Authenticity is about accepting different viewpoints, welcoming disagreements, and facilitating genuine and constructive debate.

Do not compromise your value system and beliefs

Ground those principles in your daily life and make sure your reactions/practices reflect them. Authenticity is about finding ways to demonstrate your personal traits and values consistently through your words and actions. The stronger your values are, the easier it will be to express them.

And always stay faithful to your true North, your purpose in life

People who have clarity about their life/leadership purpose bring their whole selves to their jobs and participate fully and honestly in the workplace. There is nothing more real and authentic than knowing, living, and serving your unique purpose in life.

While applying these four principles in this ever changing and tumultuous world, take time-outs and reflect on your journey and consider your relationships/friendships. It is worth noting that the relationships you formed early in your life are usually based on innocence, unconditional care and honesty and will provide you with strong guardrails to preserve your authenticity and help you to never forget your roots. So, safeguard and protect them.

Being authentic and showing our true selves usually means making ourselves vulnerable. And vulnerability takes courage, it is risky, and may have negative consequences. The reward is that you lead an honest life and an honorable career, and you are accepted for who you are.

I have come to recognize and accept that there is a constant balancing act between remaining genuine, sincere and true to ourselves, and the need to adjust to different situations to be effective, as well as, to evolve as leaders/ coaches in order to become the best possible versions of ourselves. As we consciously navigate this ongoing dilemma to strike the right balance, we continue to grow, develop, and refine our leadership and coaching skills and increase our confidence and success in helping others without losing our authenticity.