The Battle of the Whirlpools

Years ago, in my workshops, I would weave a well-known Lateral Thinking puzzle into the flow—guiding minds to uncover the hidden gems, the insights I had prepared to share.

As with most puzzles of Lateral Thinking, the riddle wove around a tale—a scene, a moment, with mystery at its heart :

A man goes to a Church one Sunday morning. The preacher was speaking on the Ten Commandments.

As the preacher said - "Thou shalt not steal", the man became very anxious and worried.

As the preacher said - "Thou shalt not commit adultery", the man relaxed and smiled.

Participants were called to paint this behavior in words, as I fielded their questions, answering each with “Yes,” “No,” or simply “Not Relevant”.

The sessions would often begin with the simplest questions, the ones nearest at hand, unraveling the puzzle thread by thread.

Has the man stolen something?

Did he commit adultery?

and then would proceed on the lines of 

Did he steal from the priest?

Is the person he stole from present in the Church?

or it could go to something like :

Did he first get scared because he had stolen and did he relax because he doesn't commit adultery, so at least he is not that bad?

This puzzle shines a light on a deep truth of human thought—a truth we glimpse, but often resist with all our strength, preferring the comfort of familiar paths.

The Space Between the Reason

We take great pride in seeing ourselves as beings of logic and reason, clinging to the belief that our judgments rest on a careful weighing of right and wrong, and that each choice is the product of unwavering rational thought.

What often slips past us is that our minds run on a cascade of triggers—automatic sparks and pulses. Logic may find a narrow space to weave itself between these bursts, often arriving late, like a postscript to justify our choices, which are already steeped in hidden biases.

Our minds are driven by triggers and stimuli, responding freely, no matter the stern warnings from those who preach discipline and restraint, urging us to tame the "monkey mind." Yet, it’s precisely this untamed dance of free association that fuels our spark for creativity, the very heart of innovation and imagination.

We know too well that every sense we possess—sight, sound, taste, touch, and scent—awakens a flood of memories.

Each sensation we feel stirs a memory, whispering echoes of something once known.

Every thing we remember is sparked by a trace, a fleeting moment, a subtle embrace.

Our minds are a web of memories intertwined, where each thought many sparks others, in an endless way.

This is the key we must grasp to see why communication often falters, and how we can open the way to ensure our words are truly received.

The Web of Reflexion

We often find ourselves judging a person not by who they truly are, but by subtle echoes of the past—perhaps their nose or hairstyle reminds us of someone who once hurt us, or their manner of speaking carries the familiar cadence of a beloved actor, making us feel an instant connection. These irrational impulses govern our choices, yet we hold others to a different standard, expecting them to make decisions with perfect logic, as if they should sift through every fact with meticulous care.

It’s a dance of contradictions—where our hearts act on fleeting associations, yet we demand that the minds of others operate in pure reason.

A crucial transformation we must make in how we view our existence, with communication serving as a clear example, is realizing that everything we do is a reflexive response to something. Our actions are not always consciously chosen, nor are our thoughts, feelings and emotions; they are reactions that trigger more reactions, creating an endless loop of cause and effect.

This is the reality for many of us—moving through life triggered by others, while we, in turn, trigger reactions in those around us, all without awareness or understanding of the chain we’re part of.

This is neither good nor bad news; it simply is the truth of our being. No matter how much we may try to deny or dismiss it, deep down we know this is how we are, and this is how we function, with all its intricacies and contradictions. We can’t escape it, for it’s woven into the very fabric of who we are.

The Forest Fire of Thought

Our nervous system is a vast, intricate network, a tangled web of neurons, all interlinked in a complex dance. The spark that drives this activity is the firing of a neuron. When a neuron receives a stimulus from those around it, it fires, sending a pulse of energy that triggers other neurons in its path. This creates a chain reaction, a cascade of firing neurons, each one igniting the next, like a wave moving through the delicate threads of our mind.

At the very core of our being, at the biological level, everything that makes us who we are—our personality, our traits, our behaviours, our knowledge, our intelligence — is shaped by the way our neurons are connected.

These intricate pathways of connection define us, weaving the fabric of our minds, creating the blueprint of all that we think and do.

Memories, too, are born from these delicate interconnections. When we encounter any external stimulus—whether through our senses or the words we hear—a specific neuron is fired. That spark sets off a chain reaction, as one neuron ignites another, and another, until a cascade of thoughts and memories is awakened. Along with them come the emotions tied to those memories, all flowing through the intricate pathways of our mind, linked together by the gentle pulse of neural activity.

It’s impossible for a single neuron to fire without stirring a multitude of other thoughts, emotions, and reactions all at once. Each spark sets off a ripple, awakening more than just the immediate response—it brings with it a flood of interconnected memories, feelings, and sensations, all woven together in the intricate dance of our mind.

The Neural Tapestry That Weaves Thoughts and Emotions

Since we cannot truly grasp the vast and unseen landscape of neurons—neither our own nor another's—we can never be certain how a particular message will resonate or trigger a response in someone else.

In fact, it's impossible to predict how we ourselves might react to a certain stimulus, for the intricate web of connections that shape us is beyond our full understanding.

The unknowns of this mental terrain make communication a delicate dance, where certainty is a luxury we don't always have.

It’s essential to realize that while we may set out with the intention to convey a specific message and inspire a particular response in others, we cannot fully control how that process unfolds in the consciousness of the other person.

We may, through broad and observable methods, eventually guide the other person toward the outcome we desire, but we have no power to dictate the exact journey their thoughts, emotions, and decisions will take. The twists and turns, the fluctuations of feelings and choices, are beyond our grasp, and the path they follow remains a mystery to us.

We often fall into the trap of wanting others to act for the "right" reasons, believing that those are the only reasons worth pursuing.

But each person carries a unique landscape within, a personal world of motivations and influences. What drives someone to take a particular action is something beyond our reach or control.

Just as we ourselves struggle against inertia to begin any task, we are often moved by a set of inner motivations that push us forward. Once we start, new reasons may emerge, new values may rise to the surface, and other concerns may demand attention. But what sparks the initial step is a part of our unique nature, an aspect of ourselves that no external force can govern or direct.

The Hobson's choice between Caution and Creativity

What are your thoughts on the puzzle we began with?

Why do you think the man became anxious when he heard "Thou shalt not steal," yet felt at ease when "Thou shalt not commit adultery" was spoken?

What is it about these words, these commandments, that stirred such contrasting responses within him?

The answer lies in the deeper, personal associations and emotions tied to each commandment, each stirring a different part of his inner world.

These sessions offered a real revelation about how tightly we cling to our sense of rationality. How, although we are equipped with the ability to take gigantic leaps of imagination, we often tend to cling and crawl to the rails, preferring to walk and take a stride only as long enough as to not cause us to fall and fail.

While many participants were able to make the necessary leaps of thought with the proper guidance, a significant number of participants remained ensnared by the moral gravity of the sermon, unable to separate it from the guilt it awakened within them.

For these individuals, anxiety arose solely from the conviction that the man had committed a theft, and relief was found only in the belief that he had not committed adultery.

The solution to this puzzle is as follows - 

The man had indeed stolen something valuable.

When the preacher says "Thou shalt not steal", he suddenly realized that what he had stolen wasn't in his possession at that point of time, and he got very anxious. 

When the preacher says, "Thou shalt not commit adultery", he remembered that he had been to his girlfriend's place and he was assured that he had left that object there.

Like all Lateral Thinking puzzles, the answer may feel like a non-sequitor - totally disconnected from the original problem. That's what these puzzles are all about. The participants being given to ask questions to the facilitator is intended to serve that purpose of finding those significant flashes of insight in the thinking process. Many participants who go through such sessions are able to ask the right questions and get to this solution.

The ones who squander the opportunities in the process of asking questions are the ones who refuse to see that our minds could be triggered down our memory lane in very disconnected, non-linear, non-sequential way. The ones who are unable to get anywhere close to the answer to this problem are those who cannot entertain any possibility of reactions beyond guilt and non-guilt.

This puzzle reveals many truths about the human psyche—truths we are aware of, yet often refuse to acknowledge, rejecting them with fervor.

Beyond the way words stir memories and emotions without a logical path, this puzzle also shows that our feelings revolve around our immediate sense of gain and loss. Even a person experiencing moral conflict does so because of a perceived "current" fear of what may come after life, or from a clash with deeply ingrained beliefs.

One of the profound paradoxes of human nature lies in our restless desire for boundless achievement, for soaring heights of innovation and discovery, even as we cling, often stubbornly, to the well-worn paths of habit and tradition.

We long to leap into realms unimagined, to break beyond the limits of the known, yet we grip tightly to the familiar grooves that have carried us thus far — the linear paths, the ordered progressions, the safe sequences that give us comfort. Bound by invisible rails of the mind, we resist letting go, hesitant to abandon the security of our well-trodden roads, even though true transformation lies just beyond their borders.

The Intangible Strings That Pull The World

Most of our communication falters because we continually deny the true nature of how human consciousness works, ignoring the complexities of our minds that shape every exchange.

I didn’t say the reason is "we do not understand,". The truth is, we know this deeply.

It’s something we experience constantly, in every interaction we have, yet we continue to try and dismiss or deny it, as if turning away from the truth will change it.

Another key reason we act this way is that we simply don't know of any other way to be. The absence of an alternative keeps us locked in our current patterns, unable to imagine or embrace a different path.

Another significant reason lies in our deep, unrelenting need to feel in control.

We constantly search for the "Newton's Laws" of communication, hoping for a set of rules that would allow us to predict with precision the reactions our words will provoke in others. We crave a world—especially the people within it—that is entirely predictable, a place where everything can be neatly defined by clear formulas and algorithms, leaving nothing to chance.

Most discussions about communication, at their core, revolve around what can at best be called "pick-up lines." Everyone seems eager to tell you what to say, how to say it, and what gestures or clothing to pair with your words, as if the art of communication is nothing more than a carefully crafted script to follow.

Though we know that the same words, spoken with the same tone and gestures, can produce vastly different results, we still try to fit communication into neat formulas. Some may deliver the perfect dialogue with passion and fail to spark any response, while others seem to succeed simply by showing up. We stubbornly attribute every success in communication to what is said, or how it's said—verbal or non-verbal—refusing to acknowledge the invisible forces at play, the unseen strings that guide every interaction.

Most of what goes around as "keys to improving communication" is pure trash.

Communication is so deeply woven into the fabric of our consciousness that we cannot truly master any part of it until we have a profound understanding of the human consciousness.

The Maelstrom of Human Connection

The main reason most communication goes astray is the constant barrage of triggers and stimuli on all sides. The neurons of everyone involved are firing in a frenzy, creating a chaotic web of responses that often lead the conversation off-course.

The words we speak often set off a powerful cascade of thoughts, feelings, and emotions in others, so overwhelming that the original message we intended to convey gets lost in the flood of reactions we unintentionally trigger. As a result, the message we send out is rarely truly received at the other end.

Especially in difficult conversations, we often exaggerate our emotions, turning them into grand metaphors and proverbs that transform the exchange into a whirlwind. In doing so, we create a storm where nothing can stay intact or untouched, and the message becomes lost in the chaos.

The key to conveying important, especially difficult messages, lies in maintaining a calm and serene composure, ensuring that what we send out is received exactly as intended, without triggering unnecessary reactions or causing chaos.

The key to the right use of language is to dilute what is negative, unpleasant and difficult to its basic objective barebones, while amplifying and embellishing what is positive, inspiring, and desirable, allowing it to grow and multiply through exaggeration, metaphor, and poetic expression.

When we learn to cushion the sharpest and most difficult truths with a layer of gentle, thoughtful presentation before sharing them with others, when we have the ability to wrap the spikiest and thorniest balls in a silky cushion, we gain the ability and courage to express even the most extreme thoughts without fear.

Only in a state of quiet, unshakable stillness can one truly step into the heart of a storm. It is not the bold, the forceful, or the brash who can enter that spiral without being thrown. Rather, it is those who come softly, in an essence as light as breath, intangible and unobtrusive, slipping into the fury without disturbing its flow. They arrive as a shadow does at dusk, silent and unannounced, their calm so deep and steady that they do not clash with the tempest but become part of its rhythm, able to witness its wild energy without being consumed by it.

Often, we become so absorbed in our own words that we fail to notice how our communication lands on others or the waves it stirs within them. But when we learn to navigate through turbulent waters with care, we can find a way to enter even the fiercest storms without causing harm to ourselves or those around us.

Tuning in, Turning On

Even on our own, we are a whirlpool trigger by a whole lot of things from inside and outside of us.

Our communication often just ends up being a clash of multiple such whirlpools.

Communicaiton is not about words, eloquence, expressiveness, grammar, language, literary fluence, proverbs, vocabulary, quotes, metaphors, information, knowledge or any form of 'content'.

Communication is the culmination of all aspects of human consciousness.

It requires a degree of understanding of human cognition, a level of self-awareness, a touch of sensitivity and awareness for the world and people around us, a freedom from our internal baggage and inner strife, a degree of boldness and fearlessness, a sense of truth to one's own self, a letting go of our ego-driven projections, comfort with chaos and uncertainty, an openness to new possibilities, a willingness to go beyond the obvious conclusions, outcomes and interpretations, and everything that helps us evolve into a higher state of consciousness.

This journey to using communication as an art of orchestrating our world would incorporate mastering all these aspects of ourselves. And much more.

(c) ReInvent Software Solutions. All Rights Reserved. 2024.

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