Being Different Means You’re Unique, Not Invisible

In my book, Walking the Path – A Leader’s Journey, I take a good, long look at leadership from the ground up. What does it mean to step out from the mold? How can what stand up and challenge the status que? What does it mean to be different and yet make an impact? 

And more importantly . . . 

Can you lead with a disability?

Truthfully, that seems like a difficult question to ask . . . and answer.

But I created a character with a disability. Specifically, I created a character with a physical disability – a deformity. 

Why?

In truth, it fit the story. 

The story is based on challenging expectations. Going deeper, the characters of the story must overcome the social expectations placed upon them. And that’s a scary thing to do. Often, we just want to fit in. We don’t want to stand out. But how will we learn to be our unique, authentic, and purposeful self if we don’t try to stand out?

That’s a question only you can answer. 

In this article, I introduce ‘Penny’. Penny is the women with the deformity. She knows she’s different; and the people in her community treat her differently. In fact, she is shunned, ostracized, and isolated from the rest of the community. She’s an outcast. As a result, she wants to run and hide. But inwardly, she just wants to prove herself. She wants to become a leader in some way. 

More importantly, she wants to prove that everyone else’s opinions of her are wrong. 

This is a multi-part look into leading when you have a disability.

Meet ‘Penny’ . . .  

“Are you coming?” Liz yelled through the bedroom door. She didn’t hear an answer despite knowing her cousin was still in the house. She yelled again, this time knocking on the door as well. She heard someone knock on the front door down the hall. Frustrated, she turned and left the bedroom door and walked down the hall.

At the front door, Liz greeted her friend Julie and let her in. 

“Where’s Penny?” Julie asked.

“In her room,” Liz said. Julie could hear the frustration in Liz’s voice. 

“I thought she was coming too,” Julie said.

“She said she would,” Liz added. “Now she won’t answer me.”

“Is she okay?” Julie asked. 

“I think so,” Liz said. “I saw her earlier. She looked fine and didn’t say anything was bothering her. Let me go check on her again.”

“Do you want me to come too?” Julie asked.

“No,” Liz said gently. “Penny can get emotional at times. I better do this alone.” Liz left Julie in the family room by the fireplace. No fire was lit, but the house still felt warm, and cozy, compared to the temperature outside. The warm weather of summer was slowly fading, and the seasons were changing once again. Julie could hear Liz knock on a door from where she sat in the family room.

Julie loved visiting her friends on the outskirts of town. Liz and Penny lived in a simple cottage home on an acre of land. One story, but the home seemed spacious and inviting on the inside. To Julie, it was like visiting her grandmother, which was always a delight. Simple, yet comfortable. It just felt good. And peaceful. As she could, Penny’s mother kept things neat and tidy in the home, much like Julie’s grandmother. It was difficult for Julie to put into words. Picturesque, but with a sense of calmness mixed with a sprinkle of tranquility. The feelings Liz’s home gave her were always welcomed. 

“Julie’s here,” Liz said through the closed door. “Are you even listening to me?”

“I’m listening,” Penny said eventually. “You can come in. The door is not locked.”

Liz slowly opened the door and saw Penny sitting upright in her bed. She was wearing her oversized sweater, which she did whenever she felt lonely or depressed.

“What’s wrong?” Liz said. “I thought you wanted to go with us to the lake.” Liz’s mood changed slightly from being annoyed to being concerned. Penny did not look like she was ready to go to the park. 

“I thought about it,” Penny said. “You go. You and Julie have fun.”

“We want you to have fun too,” Liz said. 

“I just want to stay here,” Penny said.

“Alone?” Liz asked. “All day? By yourself? Come on. I don’t want you to spend all day by yourself. And mom is not going to be home until late. She’s working her extra job tonight.”

“I know,” Penny said. “I’ll be okay.”

“I know you’ll be okay,” Liz added. “I just don’t want you to be alone all day. It’s no good to be alone. You need to get out and breathe the air.”

“What are you, my mother?” Penny asked.

“If that’s what it takes to get you out of bed,” Liz said. “Then yes.”

“Well,” Penny said. “I still don’t want to go.”

“Why?” Liz asked. “We had this planned. You, me, and Julie were going to go down to the lake.”

“I know,” Penny said. “But then I thought that some of the other girls might be down there as well.”

“So,” Liz said.

“Well,” Penny added. “You know how I feel about that.”

“I know,” Liz said. “But you can’t keep hiding in this house forever.”

“Not forever,” Penny said, “but today I want to be by myself.”

At this point, they heard Julie call out from the hall. “Penny,” Julie said, “is everything okay?”

Penny didn’t answer. 

“She doesn’t want to come,” Liz said, turning her head to look out the bedroom door, “and she’s making me upset.”

“Why are you upset?” Penny asked. “So I don’t want to go to the lake. So what?”

“It’s not ‘so what’ anymore,” Liz said, looking back at Penny. “You need to get over it.”

“I’m not ready,” Penny said.

“What’s going on with the two of you?” Julie asked. 

Being Different

When people treat you differently, you begin to believe what people say about you. People’s words begin to haunt your thoughts, even though . . . deep down . . . you don’t believe what people say about you. Or you don’t WANT to believe what people say about you. 

And words can hurt, even cripple, you. Words challenge you to think, for good or bad. And when the words are bad, they hurt. They hurt to the point of making you want to run and hide.

If this is you, then hold on. There is more to the story.

Pick up Walking the Path – A Leader’s Journey. Learn what happens to Liz, Penny, and Julie. And learn to be a person of impact . . . a person who will stand up to those who oppress you. Learn to be your true, authentic, and unique self.

Thanks for reading!

Credit for image (top): www.pixabay.com 

About the Author

Dr. Keith McNally is host of the Question Guy Podcast! He is also the author of Walking the Path – A Leader’s Journey. Additionally, Dr. McNally is a content creator and ghostwriter. Walking the Path is a guide to impact leadership through a social consciousness model. If you need to step up your leadership impact or are looking for someone to help you write your leadership story (in book format), he’s the guy! In fact, he’s The Question Guy!