Being direct without being a d**k.

How to Be Direct on LinkedIn Without Being Pushy

In the fast-paced world of LinkedIn, where every connection could be your next big opportunity, striking the right balance between being direct and not coming off as pushy is crucial. Too often, we find ourselves either tiptoeing around our intentions or charging in like a bull in a china shop. But there’s a sweet spot—a gray area—where you can be clear, direct, and respectful, all at once. Let me share how I found this balance and how you can too.

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Embrace the Gray Area

I’ll be honest, I used to see LinkedIn outreach in black and white terms. On one hand, you have the friendly, “let’s get to know each other” approach, and on the other, the aggressive, “buy my stuff” method, which I’ve always loathed. But someone once asked me, “Why is it so black and white with you? Why not find a middle ground?” That question changed everything for me.

Instead of dancing around the issue, I started being more upfront. For instance, when inviting someone to be a guest on our podcast, I’d say something like, “We’ve done some competitive analysis, and your name came up. We have a podcast that reaches over a million downloads. Would you be interested in joining as a guest?”

Most people respond positively to that because it’s clear, it’s honest, and it respects their time. And then, right upfront, I mention, “There’s no fee to appear as a guest, but I am going to introduce you to what we do, because given that we’re helping your competitors succeed, I think you might want to know about it. Is that cool?” This approach not only opens doors but also sets clear expectations from the start.

The CEO in Jeans

This reminds me of a story from many years ago. There was a guy waiting for a job interview in a reception area. He noticed two people walk in—one in a sharp Savile Row suit and the other in jeans and a t-shirt. Naturally, the interviewee gravitated toward the suited gentleman, assuming he was someone important. They chatted, and when asked who he was meeting, the interviewee said, “The CEO.” The suited man replied, “Good luck, he’s a nice guy. He was the one in jeans.”

The lesson? The person at the top often doesn’t feel the need to impress. They’re comfortable in their own skin, and that’s the kind of confidence you should bring to your LinkedIn outreach. You don’t need to dress up your intentions—just be clear, direct, and authentic.

The Three Types of LinkedIn Personas

As I’ve navigated this gray area, I’ve noticed three distinct types of personas that people adopt on LinkedIn:

The Peer-to-Peer Conversationalist: 

These are the top-tier folks who, even if they aren’t interested in what you’re offering, engage in respectful, open conversations. They see value in exploring possibilities, and they understand the importance of networking. These are the people who recognize that there’s always something to learn from every interaction.

The "Do You Know Who I Am?" Persona: 

This is where things get tricky. These individuals have tasted some success, and it’s gone to their heads. They need to be reminded of their greatness at every turn. These interactions can be challenging, but they’re also an opportunity to stay grounded and not let ego drive the conversation.

The Subservient Apologist: 

This persona is almost apologetic for even reaching out. It’s like they’re asking for permission to exist in your inbox. If you find yourself apologizing for your outreach, it’s a sign that something’s off. Either your message isn’t adding value, or you’re not confident in what you’re offering. Confidence is key—if you believe in your message, there’s no need to apologize.

Why Being Direct Works

Being direct doesn’t mean being rude or pushy. It means being clear about your intentions and respecting the other person’s time. When you’re upfront, you eliminate the awkwardness that can come from wondering where the conversation is headed. You’re not just reaching out—you’re making an offer that’s valuable to both parties.

For example, one of my favorite approaches in business is to say, “I’m almost certain that there are people in my network who would be good for you, and people in your network who would be good for me. Should we jump on a call and explore?”

No need for apologies, no need for elaborate introductions—just a straightforward offer to explore mutual benefits.

Step-by-Step Process for Direct, Respectful LinkedIn Outreach

If you’re ready to strike that balance and make your LinkedIn outreach more effective, here’s a simple, actionable process to follow:

Clarify Your Intentions:

Before sending a message, be clear about what you want to achieve. Are you seeking a collaboration, offering value, or looking to explore mutual opportunities? Whatever it is, be honest with yourself first.

Craft a Direct, Respectful Message:

Start with a clear introduction of who you are and why you’re reaching out. For example: “I noticed your work on [specific topic], and I believe there’s a potential synergy between what we do.”

Set Clear Expectations:

If there’s something you want to discuss beyond the initial outreach, mention it upfront. This could be as simple as, “I’d love to explore how we can work together, and if it makes sense, I can also share how we’ve helped others in your industry achieve similar goals.”

Respect Their Time:

End your message with a clear, respectful call to action. Something like, “If this interests you, let’s schedule a brief call to discuss further. If not, I completely understand—thanks for considering it!”

Practice the Pitch Slap:

Use your pitch slap wisely. It’s a powerful tool that, when used correctly, can open doors without feeling forced. Make sure you’ve practiced it enough that it feels natural and aligns with your intentions.

Follow Up Thoughtfully:

If you don’t hear back, it’s okay to follow up, but do so thoughtfully. A simple, “Just wanted to circle back on this” can be enough. Keep it short, sweet, and to the point.

Final Thoughts

LinkedIn is a platform full of opportunities, but to make the most of it, you need to find the right balance in your outreach. By being direct, clear, and respectful, you can open doors to new collaborations, partnerships, and opportunities without coming off as pushy or desperate. Remember, it’s all about adding value and building relationships—so go out there, practice your pitch slap, and see where it takes you.

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