BLAME IS LAME
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To blame is to assign responsibility for an unwanted outcome to another person or persons as if they are the main or sole explanation.
Blaming is selfish and almost always unproductive. I’ll admit that sometimes you are able to objectively assign some blame – but that does not make it smart to talk about it or dwell on it!
Think about this list of reasons why blame is toxic the next time you feel like pointing your finger at someone.
You are rarely totally free of blame. There is always plenty of blame to go around. Own this reality. Whether it’s one percent or fifty percent, you likely played a role too.
The blamer always looks as bad, or worse, than the person being blamed. It’s just one of those behaviors, like being arrogant, that never makes you look good.
Blame wastes precious time and energy. Every tick of the clock is time lost that you invested in improving nothing. The negativity always drains your energy and sours your mood.
Blame harms relationships and team dynamics. It’s not just about you and your blame target, it’s about everyone who knows about it. You’re negatively impacting the whole team.
Blame is addictive like a drug. It gets easier the more you do it. Soon, it becomes a habit that stops your forward motion.
So, just admit it when blame thoughts happen, then put them in perspective and try to let them go. If you slip up with words, apologize. If someone else blames, don’t validate the behavior. If you’re a leader, call it out and discuss it whenever you see it happen.
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The blame game never has winners, so don’t play.
TODD’S TIPS
The almighty outline! About to make a call, write a report, or send an email? Some are more important than others and for the most important ones you must prepare. The single most crucial step – write an outline of what is to be accomplished. Two to four bullets will usually do. This simple tactic will help you manage your time better when you’re engaged with the task, and it will reduce the likelihood that you’ll forget something. Prepare – outline – succeed!
WHAT’S UP WITH DR. D?
Courses! I just had a performance review course translated into Japanese (thanks to the LIL team!). The course, パフォーマンス・マネジメント:パフォーマンスレビューの実施,is here: https://bit.ly/3twt9Xr. And… I just had four new courses accepted at LinkedIn Learning and a few that will be joining the awesome Udemy platform shortly too. Details when they are released…
I just wrapped up a virtual keynote for the Audio Publishers Association, and it was a blast. One attendee commented, “Todd, your keynote at #apac was one of the best keynotes I’ve ever heard. You ARE ‘authentic’ personified. So many emotions from you, and tears from me, as your stories touched on my own experiences.” Wow! I feel so very lucky to do what I do. Next stop – an in-person event this week at Lancaster University near Dallas for faculty, staff, and students.
Until next time – stay safe, go learn something, maybe help someone, or at least do something interesting!
All my links in one place: https://linktr.ee/drdewett.
All previous newsletters here: https://bit.ly/3zbXVqa.
Office Support Assistant at State of Missouri
2yTotally agree blaming solves nothing. Locate the cause of the error and learn from it. No reason to dwell on who made it. I can't wait for the new courses.
Lead Architect: Architecture Governance
3yThanks Todd, this is so true. I have witnessed the "coming to a halt" in some team members that is addicted to the "blame drug".
Bachelor of Commerce - BCom from Nizam College at Hyderabad Public School
3y👍👍
CEO | Certified Coach | Expert HR Strategist | Executive Advisor| Leadership Mentor | Published Author | Speaker | Workshop Designer and Facilitator
3ySuch an important message on blame. It feels so slimy to be in the middle of it, even if you’re a bystander. It’s also a desperate, underhanded, rookie move that doesn’t fool anyone. Can we all just adult at work?!?
Strategic Operations Planner, Creative Problem Solver, Analytical Thinker
3yWorked for a company that struggled to stop "blame-storming" every minute of every day. It took a significant change in leadership and a shift in organizational culture to focus on where and when to accept blame and how to make it right along with how to prevent repeating the same mistakes.