Body Language Development (part 2)

Do Not Touch Your Face or Bite Your Nails

We often try to hide our face with our hands if we are nervous, anxious or uneasy. Many nervous children cover their mouths as they speak. Remind your child that their hands are needed for gesturing, as discussed. Nail biting is a similar manifestation of nervousness or anxiety. If your child habitually bites their nails, you could try using a product with an unpleasant taste, that is applied to their nails.

Keep your head up

A lowered head is a clear indication of nervousness. It’s another way of ‘hiding’, of making ourselves

small. Teaching your child to raise their head, especially when they are talking, is really important.

Slow down

We often talk faster when we are nervous. We want the situation to pass quickly because we are uncomfortable with it. Slowing down our speech (and our movements) makes us look and feel more in control of and comfortable in our environment.

Stop fidgeting

Fidgeting is a classic symptom of nervousness and anxiety. A cool, calm and collected individual who is happy in their environment and not nervous or anxious doesn’t fidget.

Give a firm handshake

A handshake is one of the first things we do as adults when we meet someone new. It may not be so important for children and teenagers but it’s a habit worth developing from a young age. A firm, slightly prolonged handshake affirms that we are happy, confident and in control.

Breathe deeply and slowly

When we are nervous or anxious, our rate of breathing increases and the depth of our breathing reduces. We often breathe through our mouths and our breathing can be audible. Your child can change all other aspects of their body language, but if they don’t work on their breathing, their confidence will be limited. Breathing slowly and deeply is one of the quickest ways to get into the optimal state. Remind your child to breathe through their nose, right down into their abdomen, with a particular focus on slow exhalation.

Vocal cues

It can be helpful to use vocal cues to encourage the desired body language. As you are building habits, you need to be consistent in your approach. Constantly explaining why this or that is important will only put your child off, whereas a quick word will remind them instantly. Once the habit is developed, they will find this word jumping into their mind whenever they touch their face or bow their head. Here are some vocal cues you can use, depending on your child’s needs:

• Eyes – when they avoid eye contact
• Head/chin – when they drop their chin or look down
• Hands – when they cover their face or bite their nails
• Calm – when they speak too quickly or fidget
• Pockets – when they put their hands in their pocket
• Space – when they head for a corner of the room
• Smile – when they enter a room
• Chest – when they slump or slouch
• Breathe – when their breathing becomes quick or shallow