Breaking the Wall

by Jason Safford

Ted sat across from me. His book rested on the edge of the table like a brick he was afraid to lay down. Across the cover, a long stretch of too many words. Way too much to hold in a glance. It said everything, Ted believed. All his years of work, wisdom, and answers boiled into those pages. He had written it for them — his future clients — but now he carried it like a shield.

“I can’t explain it better than the book does,” Ted said. His eyes darted toward the cover, then back to me.

“You’re the one they need,” I told him. “Not the book. People want someone to walk the path with them, not hand them a map.”

Ted leaned back, crossing his arms. “The book is the proof. It shows I know what I’m talking about.”

It was like watching a man punch the same spot on a stone wall, over and over, hoping it would give. Ted’s frustration was raw. He had conversations, long and thoughtful ones, but when it came time to close the deal, he dropped the book like a hammer. Prospective clients hesitated. He couldn’t understand why.

We talked for weeks. Confidence. Connection. Why Ted mattered more than his book. But Ted held onto the book, stubborn and certain. It was his voice, he thought. Without it, he was nothing.

The Role Play

I decided to try something new.

“Ted,” I said one day, “let’s switch roles. Pretend you’re looking for a career coach. What would matter most to you? One thing. The most important thing.”

Ted frowned. He shifted in his chair. His fingers brushed the book but didn’t pick it up. I waited.

“I guess…” he started, then stopped. He stared at the table like the answer might be carved into the wood. “I guess I’d need to believe they understand me. Like, really understand what I’m dealing with.”

I nodded. “And how would you know if they do?”

Ted blinked. The silence stretched. He glanced at the book again, but it was no use. The answer wasn’t there. He sighed, long and heavy. “I don’t know. I’d have to feel it, I guess.”

That was the crack in the wall.

The Vision

The next week, Ted walked in with the same book, the same tension in his shoulders. But I had a question waiting for him.

“Tell me,” I said, “how do you want to see yourself after you’ve helped ten thousand people find new career paths? Who is that person, Ted? What does he look like? How does he feel about the work he’s done?”

Ted’s brow furrowed. He looked like I’d handed him a riddle in a language he didn’t speak. “I don’t know,” he said finally. “I’ve never thought about it.”

“Think about it now,” I urged. “Close your eyes if you have to. Who is that man?”

Ted closed his eyes. His chest rose and fell, slower now. I could see his jaw relax. When he opened his eyes, there was something new there. Not a full answer, but a flicker of it. “He’s confident,” Ted said slowly. “He’s proud, but not cocky. He knows he’s made a difference.”

“Good,” I said. “Now tell me — what does that man do differently than the Ted sitting here today?”

Ted sat back, his fingers steepled. He didn’t have an answer yet, but the wall he’d been pounding against seemed thinner, less solid. There were cracks to peer through.

The Turning Point

“But how do I get there?” Ted asked. His voice wavered. “How do I become that guy? What if I can’t?”

“You will,” I said firmly. “But not if you keep repeating the same actions, expecting different results. That’s insanity, Ted.”

He flinched. The truth stung, but he needed to hear it.

“Each person you coach has their own wall,” I continued. “Your book might be a chisel, but you’re the guide. You show them where to strike. Without you, they’re just holding a tool they don’t know how to use.”

Ted looked at the book, his old companion. He picked it up, turned it over in his hands. “So what do I do with it?” he asked.

“Let it be what it is,” I said. “A resource. Something to refer to, not to lead with. You lead, Ted. The book follows.”

For the first time, Ted nodded without hesitation.

A New Path

The next time we met, Ted seemed lighter. The book was still there, but it sat to the side. He didn’t reach for it once.

“I talked to a client yesterday,” he said. “I didn’t even mention the book. Just listened to what they needed. Turns out, they’re signing on.”

“How did that feel?” I asked.

Ted smiled. “Like I finally stopped hitting my head against the wall.”

He was still Ted, but different. The cracks in the wall had given way, showing a new path. He’d stopped trying to prove he was the right coach and started showing it instead.

The lesson was simple, but not easy. Change doesn’t come from doing the same thing harder. It comes from doing it differently, from being willing to see yourself as more than the tools you use. Ted was learning that. His clients would too.

And the book? It stayed on the shelf, ready to help when it was needed.

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