Bring Compassion to Sales Preparation

No sale has ever been made without connection. 

A buyer and seller may connect on several levels. Sometimes personalities or backgrounds align, but these connection points aren’t necessary. What is necessary, however, is that the buyer and seller connect on the problem the buyer has in their life or work. 

If the buyer’s need does not align with the seller’s product or service, there is no sale. 

So how do we form this connection as sellers? 

Compassion.

Compassion is a means of connection with another person. The brain literally releases a “bonding hormone” oxytocin when compassion is cultivated. 

So let’s review. Compassion = connection. And connection is necessary for any sale. 

Now let me ask you this: When was the last time you were intentional about bringing compassion to your sales process? 

In truth, compassion is the most underused tool deployed by salespeople.

Last week we talked about how salespeople can bring consciousness to their sales interactions. Today, I’d like to focus on the preparation for the sales encounter and how compassion can align seller with the buyer’s needs and motivations. 

In this article we’ll see:

1. How opening our heart is more important than knowledge
2. How ritual can prepare us to connect
3. Some examples of rituals you can apply in your sales (or business) practice

Open Your Heart, Not Just Your Mind

Studies show that people with higher Emotional Intelligence, or EQ, make more money than their counterparts with lower EQ. 

Yet most salespeople I know are desperate to appear “smart” about their customer’s business. This puzzles me, because customers don’t come to the salesperson because they are lacking in knowledge about their own business. They already know more than anyone about that. They come to the salesperson because of the expertise that is outside of the business; they have a need that they can’t meet on their own. 

Sure, we want to have some basic knowledge so we can be targeted and relevant in our conversations. A biotech supplier to physicians needs to know the underlying science, for example. This type of knowledge is perhaps necessary, but it’s certainly not sufficient. 

If you had 20 minutes to prepare for a sales encounter what would you do? 

If you are like most salespeople, you treat those 20 minutes like you are cramming for a test. You would try to shove as many facts and industry jargon into your head before you met the client. 

Please don’t do that. 

All of that preparation is really about making you look good. 

But sales is about the customer. 

Here’s where compassion comes into play. 

MIT lecturer and author, Otto Scharmer, describes compassion as having an “open heart.” It means you are focused on being present with the customer and their experience. 

Some of you might be worried this is sounding a little hippie-dippie. Maybe so, but it’s also effective.

Let’s try to ground this in an example. 

Compare two salespeople, Morty and Hannah, and their approach to the same target, an eCommerce patio furniture retailer.

Morty leads with his mind. Hannah leads with her heart. Both salespeople scour the target’s website and see that the target sells a combination of 3rd party and in-house brands. They notice offers for a money-back guarantee and free returns on all items. They both look at competitor sites like Wayfair and Houzz to see if they match offers. They scan customer reviews. They notice a preponderance of Chinese imports and look for recent news on supply chains and tariffs. 

On the surface, their prep looks similar. From here they start to prepare some questions for the patio furniture company. 

Morty jots down the following: 

• How do you compete with bigger box retailers?
• All of the negative reviews tend to be focused on shipping time. Are you struggling to fulfill orders? 
• It seems like Biden is following Trump’s plan to push back on Chinese imports. What does this mean for your import business? 

Hannah begins her final moments of prep. Before she writes down her questions, she closes her eyes and goes through a mental exercise that she does before all her sales calls. Although she hasn’t yet met her prospect, she starts to think and feel what it would be like to run a patio furniture company. She pictures herself walking through a big warehouse with large boxes stacked to the ceiling. She sees a guy with tattoos running a forklift. She sees UPS drivers arriving on the back dock to pick up boxes for her customers. She thinks about her products ending up in the homes of her customers, the parties they will throw and the guests who will sit on the stylish outdoor sets, warming themselves next to the propane fire pits that are the best sellers each winter. It makes her happy to think that her company could help so many people come together and live their lives of joy. 

She jots down a few questions, as well: 

• What are you most excited about in the coming year?
• If you could make one problem go away, which would it be? What are you doing to address it currently?
• Why did you start this company or choose to work here? 

Okay, so who is better prepared for the meeting? 

Morty has all the “smart” sales questions. The prospect is sure to be impressed! 

Meanwhile, Hannah spent the moment before her call with the prospect indulging in some sort of eCommerce CEO fantasy. What could be the point of that?

The difference is that Hannah is trying to get on the same wavelength as her prospect. With her mental preparation, she is envisioning the joys and struggles of her client in order to form a connection with the customer.

In most cases, Hannah beats out Morty because Hannah can more quickly connect with her prospect. 

It’s not that Hannah knows what the customer is feeling. She doesn’t even know if her assumptions are correct. Maybe there is no warehouse (e.g. the customer is a dropshipper). 

What’s important is that she anticipates a connection with her prospect. She’s dialing in her energy to align with the human behind the business decision. The way she does that is through the mental ritual we described above. Let’s explore further how rituals can be a shortcut to solving the customer’s needs. 

How Ritual Can Help Us Connect

A great sales call is when both the salesperson and the customer win. 

The customer gets progress against their problems in their life or business. The salesperson receives the joy of helping someone (and potentially a nice performance bonus to boot!). 

But this virtue can extend beyond the two parties in the transaction. The buyer’s customers and employees will also be impacted. The story of the seller’s solution might land on the company’s website providing a case study for others on the outside. 

When examined through this lens, you can see that sales really is a higher calling!

Recently I listened to the Ezra Klein Show podcast where Klein interviewed legendary music producer, Rick Rubin. Rubin, who has had success with musicians from Johnny Cash to Jay Z, described a ritual of preparation he performed prior to sitting for the interview with Klein:

“Right before we started this together… I did a ritual for us where I imagined my higher self — I envisioned my higher self floating above me. And I envisioned you and I envisioned your higher self floating above you. And then my higher self and your higher self embraced and agreed that we would work together to bring forth the best information that would be helpful to others.

Now, you didn’t know about that when we started, but that was something I did for myself with the idea of that’s the outcome that I’m hoping for. And that little ritual probably had some impact on me..it’s like setting an intention.

When you set an intention, like belief, it has power. So I come in feeling — I come into this conversation with a sense of connection with you, an imaginary sense of connection with you, in the hopes that that’ll be beneficial to what we’re doing together today.”

You can see why the episode was titled “The Tao of Rick Rubin.”

There is so much to unpack from Rubin’s ritual. 

1. Intention has power.

When you set an intention it transforms you. It becomes the lodestar to your forthcoming actions. 

1. The intention was to connect.

He believed that for the conversation to be valuable, they needed to connect together. 

1. The intention is to bring value to others.

The goal of the connection is not just for the parties involved but for the making of a better world. For Rubin and Klein, the audience should benefit. For the salesperson and customer, the respective businesses and employees and customers will also benefit from this interaction.

In short, this type of ritual strives to have an impact beyond our sales call. It focuses on the higher calling of our project. It grounds us in the “why” of what we do. 

How to put this to practice

The practice of setting an intention to connect and to have compassion for your customer will look different for each salesperson. In fact, cultivating awareness of others and compassion for their challenges is a life journey for all of us and I am no guru. But here are a few ideas to get us started:

1. Breathe

Right before your sales call, try some form of meditation. Focus on your breath and slow your heart rate with deep inhales and exhales that bring awareness to your body and breath. The goal is for you to quiet distractions and prepare you to be fully present with your prospect. 

1. Compassion via imagination

Try Hannah’s exercise above. You can even try Rick Rubin’s “higher self” ritual. The goal is not to prejudge how the client is feeling but to prepare ourselves with caring for whatever state the prospect reveals to us. Try to put yourself in their position. What are they struggling with? Excited about? Your desire to connect with their state will prepare you for the actual connection you are about to have. 

1. Scour publicly available information for clues to their values

Look at their website and LinkedIn presence. Almost every salesperson worth their salt does this. But, again, don’t just look for facts. Look for implied feelings. Let’s say you discover that the average tenure at the company employees on LinkedIn is 10+ years. What does that tell you about the culture and values? You don’t know for sure, but maybe your customer values consistency and relationships. Maybe they are afraid of change. The act of looking and speculating is an act of compassion. Just be prepared to be wrong. That’s where curiosity comes in (which we’ll talk about next week!).

This was a long one! I hope you made it through and found some learning here. We are all on a path toward getting better so please share your insights on how you prepare your sales meetings (or any meetings, really) here or email me directly!

Best,

Stephen

Stephen@kasvaa.co