A change can do you good

Change happens around us all the time. Sometimes we’re aware of it, other times we’re not. Some change is predictable (like the seasons changing), some change is unplanned and unexpected (like a big life event). Being open and accepting of change can help us focus on what’s important to us and protect us from the anxiety that change can cause.

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."

― Barack Obama        

Why do we avoid making change?

The comfort zone is a nice place to be. It’s cosy, familiar and safe. But sometimes, as much as we try to deny it, a change really can do you good.

There are a number of reasons why we’re often reluctant to make a change…

Fear and a fixed mindset

Being afraid of change is common. In fact, there’s even a name for it – a fear of change is known as metathesiophobia.

Having this fear is understandable. After all, we’re creatures of habit and are naturally wired to fear change, because we can’t predict the outcome.

Whether you’re changing job, moving house or trying a new hair colour, a change can be unfamiliar and make you feel uncomfortable.

When you think about making a change, part of you may feel excited at the thought of something new. But part of you is scared to make the change and uncertainty creeps in – can I really do this? Will I like the change? Is it the right thing to do?

There are two main reasons why we fear change:

1. Failure
2. The unknown

Depending on the change you’re making, you may fear one or both of these. If you’re changing jobs, for instance, you may worry that you won’t succeed in your new role – and no one likes to fail. You might also fret about what your new team will be like – will you get on with them? Will they still do after-work drinks on a Friday like your old team?

Despite what your mind may tell you, you have the skills to evolve and develop through change. Fear is just an emotion that often gets in the way.

Time and money

Time and money are big factors that often prevent us from making change.

For instance, if you’ve ever thought about joining a gym, chances are these thoughts have crossed your mind:

1. How will I be able to fit the gym into my routine?
2. Can I really afford the monthly membership?

Even though you might feel there just aren’t enough hours in the day, making small changes to your daily routine can help free up some time. This might mean getting up a bit earlier in the morning or delegating a task to someone else.

When it comes to money, we’re all looking to cut back where we can. So do your research and make sure you’re getting the best value for money. But ultimately, it’s about considering the long-term outcomes and thinking about it as an investment for your future.

How to make change easier

Change can feel overwhelming and unmanageable, but there are a number of ways you can ease the pressure, break it down, and make change easier.

Connect with your purpose

We often automatically think of the worst-case scenario when we consider a change, which puts us off. But try and focus on the positives – why you want to make a change and the outcome of that change.

For instance, if you want to join a gym, the outcome is usually to get fit and lose weight, so make that the focus. If you’re looking to change jobs, is it because you’ve outgrown your current role and want to develop your skills? If so, focus on how you’ll develop yourself and what skills you want to learn.

Assess what makes you happy

We tend to want to make change to improve our lives – physically, mentally, or both. So think about the change you want to make and how you’ll feel once it’s done. Compare it to how you feel now before you’ve made the change.

Have a support network

It’s important to have the support of your friends and family to encourage you when you make important decisions and give you the boost you need. They can also help you see something from a different angle that maybe you hadn’t thought of before, and you can discuss your fears with them too.

There are times when our friends and families are too invested in us to be fully objective. That’s when a coach can be a worthwhile investment. A coach is impartial and non-judgmental. They won’t be afraid to ask you the tough questions and hold you accountable when you procrastinate or stumble.

Have a plan

When you’re planning to make a big change, it’s important to consider your approach and not rush into anything. Create a plan and set deadlines with small, achievable tasks that you can tick off as you go. That way, the change won’t seem so big and daunting.

It’s also a good idea to ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” This helps you consider all eventualities and create a plan B if necessary.

Again, a coach is your ultimate cheerleader – they help keep you on track and support you in looking into what’s holding you back.

Celebrate the small successes

We’re good at putting things off – especially the mundane tasks we just don’t want to do. So celebrate these successes, no matter how small. For instance, if you move house, take a moment to celebrate when you finally empty the last box of stuff, or when you manage to change your address for all your correspondence.

The successes matter more that the falls. Don’t dismiss them as nothing. They are important. Don’t wait for someone else to acknowledge them!

My story

I’ve made huge changes in my career twice now. I’m not just talking about changing from one company to another – I’m talking about completely different professions.

I moved from being in the telecoms, strategy, marketing space to retraining as an interior designer and setting up my own business. And then from that – via a brief re-immersion into the corporate world – to retraining as a coach and mindfulness teacher.

While on the surface there may seem to be no common threads, each of these professions has leveraged my core skills:

• Listening
• Problem solving
• Creative thinking
• Organisation
• Productivity
• Building lasting relationships

So, while change may feel overwhelming, it pays to focus on what you’re good at – what brings you joy and ignites your passion.

From there, it’s possible to create a life that you love without holding yourself back.

Book of the month

Becoming – Michelle Obama

To keep it in the family and link to the quote, have you read Michelle Obama’s Becoming? She’s one powerful, inspirational woman. And as they say, “Behind every great man there's a great woman”.

Becoming was published in 2018. It’s a hefty tome, but the audio version is narrated, albeit slowly, by Michelle herself.

Michelle Obama is one of the most iconic and compelling women of our era. As First Lady of the United States of America – and the first African American to serve in that role – she established herself as a powerful advocate for women and girls around the world, while standing with her husband as he led America through some of its most harrowing moments.  

In this intimate, powerful and inspiring memoir, the former First Lady invites us into her world, chronicling the experiences that have shaped her – from her childhood on the south side of Chicago, to her years as an executive balancing the demands of motherhood and work, to her time spent at the world's most famous address.

Mindfulness Tip

If you’re thinking about making a change in your life, take a moment to do a slightly longer mindfulness practice – say, 10 minutes. Really connect with your breath and the sounds around you. When your thoughts interrupt you, let them go and bring your attention back to your breath. Then at the end of the session, ask yourself the question you want the answer to about the change you’re considering. Then wait and see what comes to your mind. It’s amazing how much more powerful the insight is and the motivation to embrace change.

In case you missed it:

What would happen if you gave your mental fitness as much attention as your physical fitness? Want to find out? Click here

Need a boost? Find out how POWERFUL you are by taking this quiz!

Fancy a virtual coffee? I love to break up the day... so book a call with me.