Choose YOU: A more loving way beyond limitations

"The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself." ~ Steve Maraboli

From Karen Chaston's Desk

Life is a journey of many ups and down. One which I love to liken to the rhythm of our heartbeat. Up and down, up and down. The constant trajectory that signifies that we are alive. Yet so often we would prefer our life to follow a pattern that is more of a straight line. One where we know what each day will bring.

Though, would a life represented by a straight line bring us the Joy, Happiness, Fulfillment and Meaning we are seeking?

Probably not. All you have to do is look back at that heartbeat monitor to find your answer. The straight line comes accompanied with a very loud beep as it claims the end of a life.

The age old story of Adam and Eve, also highlights that a life lived on a straight line trajectory, is a life that creates boredom, nonchalance and an unmeaningful life.

Life's unpredictability and constant changes, like the rhythm of a heartbeat, gives your life its richness, depth and meaning.

Whilst a straight-line existence might offer a sense of stability and predictability, it often comes at the cost of spontaneity, growth and the full range of human experiences. The peaks and valleys in life, the unexpected turns and challenges, are what shape you and help you appreciate the moments of joy, happiness and fulfillment even more.

It's in facing adversity and overcoming obstacles that you discover your true strengths and find deeper satisfaction.

Yet so often when the hard times come, we retreat inside (physically, emotionally and metaphorically), into avoidance, never discovering our true essence. Our true Gold.

Some may retreat for a short time, just to catch their breath, whilst others may never reengage.

What is your ‘go-to’ response when challenging and distressing times come into your life?

The Hard Way Beyond a Mother’s Worst Nightmare

On the 10th July 2011, my husband and I woke, thinking we were having a lazy Sunday at home. Within minutes, I was running out the back door, shaking Dan, my 27-year-old son, who was lying unconscious in the foetal position at our back door.

Moments later, a paramedic said those words that no mother, no parent ever wants to hear. “I’m sorry madam, he is dead, probably has been for several hours.”

Those words changed my life. It didn’t happen immediately, though there is one comment that a former boss, said to me later that day that has stayed with me.

After stating his condolences for my loss, he said “you are a strong woman, you don’t allow anything to stop you, utilise your tenacity, that you have shown me many times and you will get through this.”

As I listened, all I could hear from within was “What if I don’t want to be the strong one? What if I want to be the one who is taken care of for a change?”

Unfortunately, I ignored my inner voice and became the strong one. Emotionally I closed off my feelings, metaphorically I distanced myself from the issue through avoiding it and physically I abused myself by eating, drinking and working too much.

I was so proud of myself for returning to my CFO role the day after Dan’s funeral.

Ridiculous.

Though what is even more ridiculous is that I was following the age-old adage of “Keep busy. Give it time. All will be ok.”

No wonder we live in a world of avoidance, depression, alcoholism, addiction and suicide.

It was not until 2013, when I was faced with another major loss; the choice of either taking a lesser role in a newly merged company or redundancy, that I stopped, took a breath and decided to choose ME.

The funny thing is that when you choose you, the universe seems to get behind you and before you know it, synchronicities start to come into play.

Clearly, confirming that when the student is ready the teacher(s) will appear.

Choosing You: A More Loving Healing Way

When you see someone walking down the street with their shoulders slouched, their head down and forward, with their chest sunken in, you can tell that the person has been leading literally with their head and trying to protect their heart. One of the reasons why many humans choose not to love is because of the risk of getting hurt.

Though on the other hand, when you are walking around your house, or down the street, or at your place of work, see how differently you experience life when you stick your chest out and pull your head back and lead with your heart. It may seem like a silly and simple trick, but it actually works because you are putting your focus there in your heart and your heart has as much to say about how you live your life as your mind does.

This comparison is the most ideal way for me to explain the difference between the way that many of us have been doing loss for centuries and centuries to the more loving way.

The more loving way was created after I went on a journey to becoming my own best friend. The best way to describe the Gift of Loss. Though to be clear the GIFT does not come from the loss.

Growth and transformation can emerge from adversity, and the true gift is the person you become after self-reflection, seeking support and choosing a more loving and healing way of addressing your life's challenges.

Today’s newsletter is designed to share aspects of the Gift of Loss.

Ideally, assisting you to look at your life. To look at all that has happened and then, for you to ask yourself honestly:

• Where am I physically, emotionally and metaphorically regarding all that has happened?
• What has been my GIFT?
• How have I grown through the experience?
• Do I require support and assistance with my healing?

Now is the most ideal time for you to choose you.

To ignite the transformative power of choosing you, through embracing the process of healing and self-discovery after facing your life’s challenges.

Find a quiet space, one where you won’t be disturbed. Take 3-5 deep belly breaths. You know the ones, the breaths where you breathe in love, light and visualise it going all the way down to your belly. As you belly fills with this essence, hold onto it before you exhale, visualising all the toxins, emotions and negative feelings, you have probably been carrying for too long, being expelled at the same time.

You’re now ready to begin.

Sending love, light, blessings and healing

Karen.

The Gift of Loss

Loss is an everyday occurrence. Yet there seems to be no incentive to assist people to learn how to easily move beyond it. Quite strange when you consider that we all live in the information age and that there are over 40+ loss events that can affect our lives.

This is why Karen went searching as logically, there had to be a better way……. even if it meant combining a few different modalities and coming up with a few of her own.

Quite simply, we all will have multiple losses throughout our lives.

As you look at the list below, remember that there is no hierarchy in loss.

Loss is Loss. As all humans are unique, so is every relationship we have, therefore the recovery will also be unique. There's no way to compare the pain and suffering from any kind of relationship and loss to another.

• Review the list and reflect on your past “Loss Events.” How many loss events have you experienced to date?
• Do you feel that you have successfully moved beyond these loss events?
• Name the feelings that come up within when you look at each loss event.

As you reflect on the many forms that loss has taken in your life, tune into each one. Recognise it's significance and the transformation it brought to you.

The path to healing is a deeply individual one. The Gift of Loss provides a unique perspective that has the power to reshape your life, instill resilience and foster personal growth.

Like Laura, you may be inspired to embrace your own path of healing and transformation.

Laura's Gift of Loss

“Karen, I had my monthly check-up with my doctor the other day and she was surprised when she saw me. As I walked into her office she said “What have you been doing? Your whole persona is different, you are standing taller, you look amazing and somehow more confident?” “I mentioned that I had invested in your “Gift of Loss” five-session 1-2-1 program and that we had completed three sessions.” She told me to keep her updated as she had never seen such a dramatic change in someone in such a short amount of time. She then lowered my anti-depressant prescription to a quarter of what it had been and said to only take it when I needed it. I have not taken any, as thanks to you, I have the tools to see things from a new perspective, as nothing is worrying me as it did before.”

Laura found that there are always multiple ways to do life. That when you are open to looking for a different way, you begin to see things from a different perspective. Laura’s doctor’s comments assisted Laura to came to the most beautiful realisation: that she was receiving the benefits right from the start. less prescription drugs after only completed three of five sessions.

Both Karen and Lesley, have received many similar testimonials, from both men and women. Comments that they’re viewing life differently, have cut down on any medication and most importantly that they are beginning to love their life. That they have a reason to enthusiastically jump out of bed each morning.

Lesley has created this special visualisation for you

In Closing

In these closing words, we'd like to remind you that you deserve love, fulfillment, and all the beautiful experiences life can offer.

The path to realising our desires and moving beyond limitations lies in healing through the journey of loss.

The opportunity to create the life you desire and deserve is at your fingertips.

We are here to support and guide you through this transformative process.

Next time, as we continue down the Gift of Loss pathway we will explore what gets in our way.

Until we meet again, always remember that you are Simply The Best!