Choosing the Right Life Partner: Ensuring Compatibility in Four Key Areas

In modern times, marriages are no longer treated as sacred, and divorces are becoming very common in all parts of the world. In many Western countries, divorce rates have already exceeded fifty per cent. Divorces are always very painful and emotionally draining, and everyone would like to avoid them. In this article, we shall discuss the reasons for divorces and how we can avoid them by choosing the right life partner.

A human being has four principal components: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. When you choose a life partner, you must ensure compatibility in all four key areas for a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

1: Physical Compatibility

Your life partner must be physically compatible with you. This means there should not be a significant difference in physical attractiveness, height, weight, age, etc., between you and your partner. For instance, if one partner is unattractive while the other is very attractive, the relationship may face challenges. Similarly, a large age or height difference can also cause issues in marriage. Ensuring physical compatibility helps create a balanced and harmonious relationship.

2: Intellectual Compatibility

Mental compatibility is crucial for a strong partnership. Imagine you are a PhD, while your spouse is illiterate! In such a situation, the relationship may not last long. It is better if the intellectual levels of both partners match, as an ideal life partner should also be your good friend as well. Mental compatibility ensures that your thoughts align on most issues, fostering better communication and understanding.

3: Emotional Compatibility

Emotional compatibility is another key area in choosing a life partner. Love is the strongest emotion known to humankind, and a relationship will weaken if there is no emotional attraction. Emotions are based on chemistry, which is involuntary, unpredictable, but very powerful. As the Indian poet Mirza Ghalib beautifully said:

Ishq par zor nahin, hai yeh voh aatish Ghalib Ke lagaey na lagey aur bujhaey na bane

English Translation:

Love is a flame on which you have no control, O Ghalib! You can neither light the flame (of love), nor can you extinguish it at will.

Listen to your heart before choosing your partner, ensuring mutual emotional feelings for each other. One-sided love in a relationship is like poison, gradually killing the love and transforming it into hatred.

4: Spiritual Compatibility

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies,” said the Greek philosopher Aristotle. Love lasts longest when the souls of the partners become one. Our souls or conscience contains our deepest values and beliefs. Having common values is a must for a lasting relationship. For instance, a relationship between a corrupt and honest person, a truthful and a liar, a faithful and unfaithful person, a religious and an atheist, or an artist and a materialist can’t last long. When choosing your life partner, ensure that your foundational values align.

Many people behave unreasonably when they fall in love, choosing a partner based on looks, education, or feelings rather than checking compatibility in all four areas. Such relationships often do not last long, and couples soon fall out of love, wondering what initially made them fall in love. They may continue living together due to social pressure. or for the sake of children, but love will be absent in the relationship.

Ambrose Bierce rightly defined love as “A temporary insanity curable by marriage, … [love] is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions.”

Many young people in modern times are avoiding marriage due to the fear of divorce, broken families and the possibility of emotional trauma due to break-up. However, marriage is an important institution that is helpful in improving the quality of our lives and bringing lots of love, happiness and peace in our lives.

If we choose our life partner with open eyes, minds, hearts, and spirits, we can find true love and enjoy a lifetime of love, happiness, and peace in our relationship.

Originally posted on Awdhesh Singh website.