The circle saga continued...

The thing with traffic circles is that it gives you autonomy, unlike a traffic light. Is my belief that people cannot make responsible decisions when left to their own devices?

My blow-up in the traffic circle last week and the way my friend pointed some things out to me created a huge awareness of how I drank that cup of poison hoping the other person will die from it. Not sure if you ever heard that expression but it rang so true for me.

The truth that became clear to me was how I was imitating a behavior that I saw in my ex-partner for many years. I used to dread driving with him because he would get extremely angry, swear, and speak in sign language. I remember telling them that the other drivers couldn't hear his rage, and the only person being subjected to it was me.

Even my father had a tendency to get angry while driving, and now I realize that this kind of behavior is widespread on the roads. No wonder we think it's acceptable to act that way. We are constantly exposed to this behavior, and it's no surprise that we struggle when we adopt it ourselves.

Creating calmness

I've decided to face those traffic circles head-on, armed with a new tool in my toolbox. It's incredible how it suddenly dawned on me that I was getting myself all worked up and, as a result, attracting those idiots. In the meantime, I am the idiot and I am saying it in the nicest way as I do not like running myself down. The truth of the matter is that is how I can speak to myself. I understand that it's not the other drivers who are the problem; it's my belief that they cannot think clearly and make the best decisions for themselves and others. We all have our opinions on what a good or bad driver should act like, but what truly matters is finding a better feeling in these situations. That's when we should ask ourselves: How is this serving me?

I won't sugarcoat it; breaking free from the deeply ingrained belief that these situations will always happen is challenging. It feels like it's in my DNA, but I've grown tired of the struggle and the constant anxiety and anger. That's when my higher self guided me to see the traffic circle as a source of fun and excitement, like riding a roller coaster. I'm not kidding when I say I now go through it with a gleeful squeal, treating it as a chance to outsmart other drivers or simply enjoy the thrill of the ride. It might sound silly and simplistic, but it's actually working wonders for me right now. I try and remind myself that the person could be deep in thought or worried or late or just angry like me and I try to not get bothered if someone cuts in front of me or fails to use their turn signal. I do slip up. I promise you that every day it will get better as I am exercising that muscle of choosing the better feeling.

Conclusion

Life is a lot like navigating traffic circles. I go in circles on a daily basis trying to find my way in this world. I can be all over the place but I am surrounded by kind people who care and extend grace. We're all just trying to figure things out as we go along. Now, I approach the road with a more open mindset, ready to accept any kind of driver I encounter. After all, I make mistakes too, and isn't it wonderful when someone extends a kind gesture like a wink, wave, or honk to make us aware as we all are always deep in thought or in a daze?

In those moments, I feel a deep sense of gratitude towards that person. Well, maybe not if you honk! They were aware enough to potentially prevent an accident and their thoughtfulness means the world to me. It serves as a reminder that small acts of kindness can have a significant impact on others.

No one ever gets up in the morning thinking how they are going to be meanies and mess up someone's day. Yes, yes I know you get the exceptions but they are very far and in between.

Reminder

We did not rock up on earth with a manual so I believe we are all doing the best with the resources we had. Never stop trying.

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