Claude's Book Review - August 2024

The courage to be happy

True contentment is within your power

by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

Allen & Unwin, 2016. 252 pages

This month I am reviewing the sequel of The courage to be disliked called The courage to be happy by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. As I enjoyed learning about Adlerian psychology, I could not read this sequel soon enough. And I did not get disappointed! The authors again rely on a dialogue between the philosopher and youth. Since their last encounter three years ago, youth has tried applying Adlerian psychology to his life. He quit being a librarian and took a job as an educator. But far from becoming an advocate of Adlerian thinking, he concluded that Adlerian psychology is only a theoretical framework that does not apply to real life, especially to education.

In the first part of the book, called “the bad person and the poor me,” youth tries to convince the philosopher that Adlerian psychology is like a religion. But the philosopher holds against it by explaining the difference between religion and philosophy. Religion explains the world by means of stories. Philosophy rejects stories. It explains the world by means of abstract concepts that have no protagonists. Philosophy is the study of the love of wisdom. It all comes down to the concept of separation of tasks, resulting in freedom. Youth disagrees and provides stories from him being a teacher. The philosopher responds to the critique by stating that youth misunderstands the goal of teaching. Education is not intervention but assistance towards self-reliance. This means respecting the students without setting any conditions. Respect is the concern that the other person can grow and unfold as he is.

The book’s second part refocuses on why Adlerian psychology negates rewards and punishment. Here again, the classroom serves as a backdrop. The philosopher explains that applying Adlerian psychology means the classroom must be seen as a democratic nation. Indeed, he argues that an organisation, here the classroom, under the command of the dictator, the teacher, cannot escape corruption. Corruption is expressed through rebukes and praises, that is, students behave in a way to get rebuked or praised, which contrasts with the definition of self-reliance, which is at the core of freedom. The philosopher introduces Adlerian’s five-stage problem behaviour framework to make his point. First, students demand admiration. Then they aim to draw attention. The third stage plunges into power struggles, escalating to the fourth stage of revenge and culminating in the fifth stage of proof of incompetence.

During part three of the book, youth and the philosopher discuss moving from the principle of competition to the direction of cooperation. At the core lies the objective of education: self-reliance. The role of education, rather than teaching, is to coach the students toward their self-reliance. The philosopher points out that giving students rewards raises the level of competition, which is contrary to the goal of self-reliance. To make his point, the philosopher argues that manipulating students with rewards and punishments is an attitude that could not be any further away from democracy, which is crucial for anti-corruption. Instead of focusing on being different from other students, students should focus on being themselves. The philosopher concludes the book’s third part by saying that education is friendship, not work.

Part four of the discussion between youth and the philosopher focuses on the joy of interpersonal relationships. Adlerian psychology builds upon three tasks an individual must confront to live in society. These tasks are called the life tasks. They are composed of the task of work, the task of friendship, and the task of love. Finally, the discussion moves towards understanding the difference between trust and confidence, where trust is believing with conditions, whereas confidence removes the conditionality.

Finally, the discussion turns to the concept of love, choosing a life you love. Love is the concept I struggle with most to grasp the Adlerian psychology theory fully. Love is a task completed by two people. This contrasts with the concept of separation of tasks and makes it harder to understand to me. Love is defined as a liberation from the “me” embracing the “us”. Love is the ultimate stage of self-reliance. It is a personal task. Being loved, on the contrary, is the other’s task. Therefore, love cannot be forced on anybody.

This book makes me want to learn more about Adlerian psychology. This is the case because many of the beliefs and concepts presented in this book align with my way of thinking about life. It is hard for me to judge how Adlerian psychology resonates with you, whether you are more like youth or more like the philosopher. Therefore, I would be very interested in hearing and reading divergent thoughts from you. Anyway, I will keep you posted on upcoming insights I may gain about Adlerian psychology.

If you did not like reading of The courage to be disliked, then there is no need to pick up The courage to be happy. But this book is a must-read if you liked it and embraced some of the Adlerian thought concepts. As always, this is my personal subjective assessment of the book with which you may or may not agree. Any well-argued opinions, whether in agreement or not, are welcome!

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