Clumsy Coaching

Leadership theory tells us that there are many leadership styles and methods, however I like to talk about just two opposite styles – Directing and Coaching. I consider Teaching to be a separate process; one that is hugely necessary and beneficial, but separate to, and in support of either of the two prime styles.

Directing people means telling them precisely what to do (and probably  how to do it), how to report to you, and maybe what they will get when they are successful. This style is all about control. Things will be done my way, and then all will be well and everything will go to plan.

I am not saying that this style is wrong – it’s not. In certain circumstances this style is not only correct, but essential. Giving clear direction and telling people precisely what to do can make people feel very safe and feel highly motivated to carry out instructions. Essential. I recall an incident that really brought this home to me. I went out on a day’s sailing with a client, having never sailed before. I was nervous because I simply did not know how to do things. The ropes were a mystery to me and the sail positioning to the wind was counter intuitive. So my client had to be very precise in his instructions to me – and the more precise he was the more confident I felt. He was reluctant to give me orders and wanted to give me an opportunity to discover things for myself – until a crisis point when the wind suddenly changed when we were slicing through the water at 8 knots. I missed my cue and in an instant I experienced all the emotions of failure – I was letting my colleagues down and I did not know what to do and started to panic. Luckily my client went into extreme direction mode and screamed a very precise instruction in my ear. He was not polite. His voice contained urgency, and frustration with me. He swore. And it was exactly what I needed. In that instant I felt relieved and safe. I pulled the correct rope through and tied it off, and the crisis was averted. He gave me the leadership that I needed right at that moment.

If directing is all about control, coaching is all about growth. Directing is giving people our solutions. Coaching is the opposite – not giving solutions but getting the other person to perform to their best; finding methods and processes and structures that enable others to come to their own solutions and choose their own actions. And just where are they supposed to get this Coaching from if not from us as their line manager – their ‘performance’ manager? Since controlling feels so natural, coaching will feel decidedly unnatural and so we have to be prepared to be clumsy as we start coaching. The good news is that clumsy reinforces vulnerability and our humanity and trustworthiness.

So knowing it’s ok for us to be directive at times, and knowing we’re going to be a bit clumsy as we start to coach, we can at least make the change.

What people want more than anything else is clarity. They just need to know what’s expected of them. Our problem is that, knowing that there are just the two styles of leadership, instead of being clear about which style we are using, we try and mix the two and find a continual middle ground of a style. This is not helpful to people, in fact it is highly confusing. People want to be coached most of the time, and then are prepared to be directed as an exception. Trust and respect grow when people know that we are genuinely attempting to coach them, even if we are clumsy sometimes, and this buys us the right to direct them clearly and strongly when it is necessary and appropriate.

We need to consciously choose the style we are going to employ, moment by moment. We cannot delegate by abdication, even when it sounds incredibly supportive, even possibly enlightened. For when people are left alone, they will come to decide for themselves that their objective is not achievable and they will start constructing their perfect reasons for when they are held to account for ‘failing’.

Poor forecasting is endemic in organisations and it has this moment of decision at its root, for people don’t choose to tell us when they have decided that the target is not possible. Their exhortations that the target is still possible may sound highly committed, but in reality they have started the positioning of the excuses.

Oh if only all the energy that was put into selling our excuses was put into achieving all the stated objectives in this world, business performance would be revolutionised. And this is where  the adoption of a cultural  change to having coaching as the predominant  leadership style is utterly  transformational  in organisational success, since suddenly the truth is exposed  and ruthless honesty comes to the fore in a collegiate spirit of simply wishing to achieve more and grow, and for everyone to be fulfilled in the process.

Article excerpted from “And The Leader Is….” and “Corporate Emotional Intelligence…” by Gareth Chick

About the Author:

Gareth Chick is a 40 year corporate veteran with a global profile. His career has included hugely successful spells as CFO, CEO and Chairman in both public and private sectors, including private equity. What makes Gareth's experience unique is that he combined those executive roles with a part time career as a leadership trainer, researching psychology, neuroscience and psychotherapy to create leadership development programmes used now by many major global corporations. In the last 15 years Gareth has trained over 5000 managers and served as Executive Coach to over 200 senior execs including FTSE100 CEOs and Fortune 500 VPs. As Founder of Collaborative Equity LLP, “promoting corporate cultures and sustainable business models of shared ownership, shared responsibility and shared rewards", Gareth acts as consultant to many global leaders, specialising in first time CEOs and Start Up founders. ↠ find out more at ceq.com

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