Coaching is a Series of Conversations

So often when we train our customers or people in the marketplace about coaching, the number one thing that we observe is that people really struggle with what to say next. This is not a criticism. Rather, this is the opportunity that managers have, and that is to learn how to have a coaching conversation.

A coaching conversation is filled with simple questions, questions that get the employee to look in the mirror and learn about themselves, questions that facilitate improvement between both the manager and the employee, among other things.

People tend to think of a conversation as an event that either works or does not work. Let me explain this concept further. Recently, I was working with a client and we had a manager who literally used the word "cured." He felt and somehow got the interpretation that coaching was about fixing, or having a conversation that would immediately provide impact and change. While this would be wonderful if this actually worked on a consistent basis, the fact of the matter is that coaching is a series of conversations.

At Progress Coaching, we teach about three levels of change. The three levels of change are effort, progress, and results. Let's use a simple analogy- take a kid who's in Little League. When he or she gets into the batter's box for the first time, they're typically pretty scared. Three pitches go by and they strike out. But let's say two or three weeks later, the child is now swinging the bat, occasionally foul tipping a ball or two, but still striking out. Yes, the results are lacking. But the fact of the matter is, if we recognize the effort, and then recognize the progress of the child actually foul tipping and making contact with the ball, the child psychologically will be committed to improving as long as the coach recognizes that.

On the other hand, how often have we seen kids where their parents have heart attacks because heaven forbid their child struck out in Little League? What does this teach the child to do now? They're now afraid to go back into that batter's box, because their association is one of negativity and disappointment. Over time, if the child strikes out less, but is still making outs, but actually popping up, or hitting ground balls, this is huge improvement.

When you combine effort with positive reinforcement, and you recognize a person's progress, results will come that will ultimately become more sustainable and predictable.

One conversation will rarely, if ever, have an impact long term. So it's okay not to have a great coaching conversation, because we can always have the frame of reference, and there's always opportunity to improve in the weeks after.

Coaching is a continuous conversation, and one where both the coach and the employee benefit. The employee benefits because the manager's taking time and helping them discover their strengths and opportunities to improve. The manager benefits because they're asking questions and ultimately and continuously learning about their employee. Remember: coaching is not a conversation, it's a series of conversations that work together to drive change.

Want to learn about a coaching program managers love? Check out our webinar THIS FRIDAY: