Conflict Resolution: Looking For The Fifth Way

 Conflict, whether originating in the home or the work place leads to stress, which affects both. The total cost of stress, in terms of loss of production, inefficiency, health costs, staff turnover, costs the Australian economy $14.8 billion per annum. (1)  What is it currently costing you or your business? The traditional ways of resolving conflict often result in dissatisfaction as both parties compromise to varying degrees. That dissatisfaction can simmer then erupt at a later stage.  What if there was a better way, a true win-win solution?

Johan Galtung, a Norwegian researcher in conflict resolution, pioneered a solution which he calls the fifth way or fivers. Galtung identified that in every conflict there are five potential solutions:

1. I win. You lose.
2. You win. I lose.
3. Negative Transcendence. This involves avoiding the problem entirely, hoping it will go away.
4. Compromise, in which all parties agree to lose in part.
5. Transcendence. This produces a solution which is above and beyond the problem. True win-win.

Galtung proved beyond doubt that the fifth way was possible when he mediated in negotiations with Peru and Ecuador over a 55 year border dispute. The solution? No border at all. The previously disputed area is now a thriving bi-national zone which even includes a jointly administered nature park. (2) If it can work in international politics, surely it can be applied effectively in our own workplaces?

Much work related stress comes directly from relationship conflict in the business. It’s a combination of office politics, competition and conflict, of poor relationships with superiors and bullying or harassment.  People commonly respond using negative transcendence, that is, trying to reduce job-induced stress without actually resolving the conflict that caused it. 

The solution is to be proactive rather than reactive in sourcing a solution, and looking beyond the presenting issue.   Rather than ‘making’ Ruth stop bullying and be nice to Fred, the solution is to have a working environment where each person, including management, feel appreciated, of value, respected, stimulated but not over or under worked. The benefits include reduced emotional and psychological stress and physical illnesses resulting from chronic stress, which correlate directly to the bottom line.  The ‘How’ comes from a collaborative think tank of all levels of staff. (3)

Work-family conflict is another rich source of stress. The impact may have been underestimated in the past, but it affects productivity, job satisfaction and organizational commitment, and can pave the way to fraud and theft of time and resources. Is your workplace a breeding ground for conflict? Consider expectations of work hours, of pay and conditions, family inclusive social activities, child care facilities, parental leave for sick children, flexible hours etc.

Looking beyond the symptoms of conflict involves thinking differently, and letting go of ego. If you were a farmer and found your neighbour’s dogs killing your sheep, how would you settle the conflict? Back-stabbing resentment, confrontation, threats, legal action, baiting or shooting the dogs? No one is a winner with those solutions. Tom Atlee tells how an Indiana farmer came up with a fiver solution. He gave his neighbour’s children lambs as pets. This became a win-win solution as the neighbours voluntarily tied up their dogs to protect their children’s cute pets, and the families became friends rather than feuding neighbours for generations.(2)

Consider the conflicts in your life, both at work and home. Consider the true source of the conflict so you can create a solution that addresses it, and therefore works for all by making no one wrong. Remember, everyone needs to be right, because at the deepest level, being right confirms we are worthy, we are enough.   The fifth way works for that reason.

                                                  Sue Lester, Growing Content Pty Ltd. www.SueLester.com

(1.) www.helpguide.org/mental/work-stress-management

(2.) Lipton, Bruce H. & Bhaermand, Steve Spontaneous Evolution: Our Positive Future. Hay House, 2011.

(3.) Lundin, Stephen Paul. Paul, Harry. Christensen, John. Fish! Omnibus Hodder Mobius, 2006