Corporate Abuse and Domestic Violence: The Crude Connection

I have worked for 46 years.

Fifteen of those years I was a stay-at-home and homeschooling mother; that was a privilege and an honor.

During those years, I was also battling the internal conflicts of making the decision to leave (or not) while amidst domestic violence-physical, emotional, mental and financial abuse.

The positions I had inside and outside of my home kept me sane. They brought a unique stability to my soul…to my psyche.

Then, it happened.

After 26 years of marriage, in which I remained faithful, I decided to leave after the last acts of violence towards me. Yet, ironically, and thankfully he divorced me!

But even now, when I say “thankfully,” that comes with the reminder that often times Black women are so loyal to the idea of loyalty whether it be to a person or an institution , which in my case was the institution of marriage, that we lose ourselves. We water down our essence so others can swim to become the best version of themselves at our expense.

I recall the moment I realized the deep correlation between domestic abuse and corporate abuse. It came the day I had back to back phone conversations with my then supervisor and her superior.

They tried to make me think I was the problem based on a false narrative of me they created. (#gaslighting)

They accused me falsely of doing something I simply didn’t do and when I showed any degree of disagreement with that situation, they said they felt “threatened” by me in so many words. (#gaslighting through #microaggression)

Then came the silent #bullying and #harassment by shutting me out of conversations germane to my professional development- they did not allow me to attend enterprise-wide conferences where information was shared by the C-Suite that gave deep internal insight to the company’s direction to middle managers and above that ultimately led to conversations about advancement for many.

And like an abuser in a domestic violence situation, there was the tone-policing- the accusations that I was raising my voice when clearly I wasn’t… the same policing that occurs when a woman knows she’s telling the truth and her abuser won’t allow her to speak truth as they twist and shift the conversation and infiltrate it with a plethora of lies to create their own narrative to assuage their evil consciences. (#gaslighting through #tone-picing and #harassment)

Any of this sound vaguely familiar?

Well, as we celebrate #domesticviolenceawarenessmonth, let’s create our own ribbon for those of us who are “Corporate Survivors!”

What’s your color? I say grey! Quite frankly, this is NO GREY MATTER for those of us who know!

#corporateabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #systemicracism #corporatesurvivors #truthmatters