CrankaTsuris Screw Up

CrankaTsuris Screw Up

By Steven Joseph

A friend recently posted on social media the following question:

 "Instead of using the word mistake, what else can we call it?

 A lesson?

 A funny story?

 A chapter in a book?

 An opportunity to practice solving skills?

The important thing is to figure out how it is a gift. Because if you view it as a gift, it will become one."

 Now, I am completely on board with this. Then, I read all the responses people wrote in:

"An experience which is one of many that makes you the person that you are."

"A learning opportunity."

"A lesson."

"Opportunity for growth."

"A glitch."

I was reading the responses, and I was a bit troubled by this. I have no problem with trying to turn the mistake into a positive growth experience. How wonderful! Yet, I was troubled by the feeling that when we focus so much on the positive, and forget the negative, it starts to feel like we lose the opportunity for growth for ourselves with the mistakes that we make . It has a generic feel to it. "We all make mistakes. Forget about it and move on. Don't dwell on your mistakes." Of course, we move on. But, then, there is no growth.

We can not allow ourselves to move quickly to the positive growth piece of a mistake. We actually have to sit with it. We have to examine it.

I have tried many times over to think of the positive growth I have achieved with every mistake. I have softened the mistake with that comforting thought of "we all make mistakes." Guess what happens? I end up making the same mistake over and over again. I tell myself, " I just cannot believe it. How did I make that mistake again?"

Some of these mistakes are huge. We all know someone, or we have been that someone, who was in a bad relationship. You hear the story ad nauseam about how the relationship was this huge mistake, and how was this person could not believe he or she was so blind not to see it. A month later, that person ends up in another bad relationship. The new relationship is identical to the bad relationship that this person was amazed how blind he or she was not able to see the first time around. 

Of course, we had tried to comfort the person by saying that we all have made mistakes. We tell the person that it was a learning opportunity, and a chance for positive growth.

Apparently, all that sweet talk sunk in. We made the mistake so okay that it became okay to repeat the mistake. There was no learning from the mistake. There was no growth. There was just continued blindness.

So, instead of using the word "mistake," I suggested "screw-up." "You really screwed up big time, Steve!"

The screw-up has to feel so big that it becomes a huge CrankaTsuris that you want to scream about at the top of your lungs. You sit with the negative part of the screw-up, and it almost feels like it has you in shackles. You imprisoned by it. You are enslaved by it. This experience is one that you really need to have.

Then, turn it around. How would liberation feel? What would freedom from the mistake be like? Can you imagine what liberation from this mistake or "screw-up" would look like.

Only then, can you change the word "screw-up" or "mistake" to real growth and true liberation.

You are now free!