Snoodle Noodle CrankaTsuris

This is story that takes place in the future. How far in the future, you may ask. I do not have a clue. However, I do hope it is not far into the future. Maybe, this is a story that is just around the corner because, as you know, we all need a good story to tell.

The air was always clean, and the sky was always blue. Everyone was always happy. This was possible because of one man. His name was Hymie Snoodleman. You see, Mr. Snoodleman, as he was referred to, was the inventor of the SnoodleMobile. Everyone drove around in their own SnoodleMobile, or just plain Snoodle, as it was affectionately called.

What made the Snoodle so special was that it was able to run only on noodles. All you had to do is put some noodles in the Snoodle, and off you would go. The delicious smell of noodles would fill the air. Not only that. You can add some noodle sauce of your choice to the noodles into the Snoodle. When you arrive home from a long day at work, all you had to do was press the ejection button, and a fresh and delicious bowl of noodles and sauce would be ready to serve a family of four, just in time for dinner.

The SnoodleMobile was a big advance in technology that everyone appreciated. Before everyone drove around in their own Snoodle, they would get around in a KrautMobile. The KrautMobile ran on Sauerkraut. While the KrautMobile was very efficient, it was also very stinky. It was impossible not to have your clothes smell like sauerkraut by the time it was 10:00 AM. This was a big problem, and all the world’s greatest inventors tried to invent a car that did not run on sauerkraut. Everyone was unsuccessful until Hymie Snoodleman, or Mr. Snoodleman, as he was referred to, invented the SnoodleMobile.

With the success of the SnoodleMobile, Mr. Snoodleman was able to amass a great fortune. With this great fortune, not only did Mr. Snoodleman open up many noodle shops, he also opened up the Snoodle McDoodle Noodle Art Museum, which was the first art museum that focused solely on Noodle Art. Of course, the most prominent piece of Noodle art work was a masterpiece created by the famous artist Noodle McDoodle. This work of art was titled “The McDoodle Lisa.”

Many people lined up for hours to see the McDoodle Lisa. Because of this, the Snoodle McDoodle Noodle Art Museum quickly became the hottest ticket in town.

While everyone was in love with their Snoodle, and the Snoodle McDoodle Noodle Art Museum, there was one person who was not happy at all. In fact, he was furious that people no longer wanted to drive around in a KrautMobile. This man, of course, was the inventor of the KrautMoblie. His name was Kraut DeCroodle. Because nobody liked the KrautMobile anymore and nobody missed the smell of Sauerkraut, everyone just referred to him as Stinky Mr. Crueldle.

One day, Kraut DeCroodle decided that he would seek a bit of revenge on Mr. Snoodleman. He waited till the middle of the night. He then sneaked into the Snoodle McDoodle Noodle Art Museum after hours when the museum was closed. When approach by security, Kraut DeCroodle sprayed the guards with his special Sauerkraut Spray, rendering them unconscious. Kraut DeCroodle then slowly walked up to the McDoodle Lisa. Sure enough, he open up a special jar of Kimchi Sauerkraut, and poured the jar all across the McDoodle Lisa.

The next day, Mr. Snoodleman discovered that his beloved piece of art, the McDoodle Lisa, had been covered with the Kimchi Sauerkraut. He was forced to close the museum because of the smell.

Mr. Snoodleman quickly took down the McDoodle Lisa, and wrapped it with a special noodle wrapping, and brought it over to the world’s most prominent art restoration expert, Pierre Le’Toodle.

Pierre Le’Toodle spent weeks attempting to restore the McDoodle Lisa. Everyday, Mr. Snoodleman would go to see whether Pierre Le’Toodle made any progress on restoring the McDoodle Lisa. When he was given a look at the McDoodle Lisa, he only had one thing to say:

“You have barely scratched the surface!”

Noodle McDoodle also was very concerned about how his most famous work of art had been damaged, he too went to see Pierre Le’Toodle on a daily basis just to inspect the McDoodle Lisa. When he was given a look at the McDoodle Lisa, he only had one thing to say:

“You have barely scratched the surface!”

Pierre Le’Toodle worked day and night, carefully scratching the surface, attempting to restore the McDoodle Lisa. Apparently, this worked with restoring other great works of art. He scratched so hard that, after a few weeks, he did not even have nails left on his hands. He thought if he kept scratching the surface, the Sauerkraut stain and smell would go away. However, no matter how hard he worked, scratching the surface, just before he went to bed at night, he would look at the painting and mutter to himself:

“I have barely scratched the surface!”

After he muttered about barely scratching the surface, he would always make sure to cover up the McDoodle Lisa with the special noodle wrapping. But, one night, he was so tired, he simply fell asleep in his chair and left the McDoodle Lisa uncovered.

Pierre Le’Toodle owned a poodle who would keep him company in his restoration studio. He had bought the poodle when he still drove around in a KrautMobile. The poodle loved the smell of Sauerkraut so much, Pierre Le’Toodle named the poodle Wiener Schnitzel. When Pierre Le’Toodle’s clothes started smelling like Sauerkraut, Wiener Schnitzel would just roll his fur in the clothes and absorb all of the Sauerkraut smell.

So, that night, after Pierre Le’Toodle was fast asleep, Wiener Schnitzel gleefully approached the McDoodle Lisa, and started to fiercely lick the painting. He kept licking and licking until the Sauerkraut smell and stain disappeared.

The next day, Pierre Le’Toodle woke up to find that the McDoodle Lisa was fully restored to its original beauty. He quickly called Mr. Snoodleman, and Noodle McDoodle to come and see the McDoodle Lisa. They all celebrated with a big bowl of noodles. That afternoon, the McNoodle Lisa was once again showcased at the Snoodle McDoodle Noodle Art Museum.

A year later, Noodle McDoodle completed his next great work of art, and it was displayed along side the McDoodle Lisa. He named it “The McDoodle Noodle Poodle.”

Pierre Le’Toodle became an even more famous art restoration expert. He never merely scratched the surface ever again.

And, of course, this is just another lesson in our CrankaTsuris practice.

And for more fun stories, check out my blog at www.StevenJosephAuthor.com, and A Grownup Guide to Effective Crankiness: The CrankaTsuris Method.