A dangerous lie that many still believe...

One of the BIGGEST and most dangerous LIES that many people still believe:

*Self-criticism is a great way to motivate yourself.*

The idea that trash talking to yourself increases your chances of achieving goals

…is an absolute fallacy.

What it actually does is the complete opposite. 

It makes you less effective, less likely to take action and more afraid of failure. 

It paves the way for stress, anxiety and even puts you at a higher risk of depression. 

So then why do so many of us still do it?

A lot of the time it’s all we've ever known. It’s what we think got us to where we are.

We’re convinced it’s the reason for our achievements and successes. 

And we fear that without it we would become complacent, lose our drive and our motivation. 

But that’s simply not true. 

Actually, by doing the exact opposite (being Self-compassionate) you can seriously boost your motivation. 

By being kind to yourself: you reduce stress levels and promote a sense of calm.

You create a more supportive relationship within, which makes you resilient and better at bouncing back. 

Who’s more likely to go to the gym? 

Someone who gets shouted at as soon as they get there or someone who’s received with kindness and understanding?

Who’s more likely to start a new business? 

Someone who gets insulted every time they fail or someone who knows they will be supported no matter the outcome?  

It’s a no brainer. 

By approaching yourself with kindness, support and understanding, you increase your likelihood to start things and continue with your efforts.

So next time you find yourself trash-talking or being self-critical to motivate yourself, consider that it’s not the most efficient approach.

Consider that in order to get more done and increase your chances of achieving things, a much better approach is to:

BE KIND TO YOURSELF.  

Motivate yourself in the same way you would motivate your best friend.

When you catch yourself saying “you’re so stupid Billie”, apologize and instead say “It’s OK Billie you made a mistake, now keep going”. 

Start recognizing your negative thought patterns and reframe them into constructive ones. 

Finally, and also probably the most underrated form of self-compassion: focus on Self-care. 

Taking care of your physical and emotional needs is the best way to increase motivation. 

Get good sleep, eat healthy, exercise and engage in activities that bring you joy.

Do all of the above and you will become unstoppable. 

Much love,

Alex

PS: What I’m reading: Last Light - Alex Scarrow

What I’m watching: Yesterday (The movie) 

Quote of the week: "The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself." - Steve Maraboli