December's diary

Happy Christmas

This time last year I had just closed the doors on my business, 2to3days, which I had run for 10+ years and poured my heart and soul into.  I felt relief, but I was exhausted. I also felt incredibly lost.  What next? I hadn’t got a clue. I had been working since I was 21, I had never really stopped, paused maybe, but never stopped, as I had always known what I was going to be doing next. This time round I had no idea but lots of ideas, people wanting to brainstorm, people asking me what next. I  found this all quite overwhelming and scary. My husband was brilliant. He would say to me (frequently) that we all need to be lost so that we can find ourselves - you’d never guess that he read Philosophy at university. 

It’s taken me a year to recharge, to recalibrate and to work out what next. I now have a plan and importantly the right plan for the next chapter of my career. 

So I thought I would round up my year of monthly diaries and share my twelve key learnings with the hope that it will help those of you also looking to recalibrate your careers and businesses. 

1. Taming my fear

To be completely honest with you, I started in January writing my monthly diary as I was scared of becoming forgotten and irrelevant. I knew I was going to build a new business, and whilst I had some ideas, I didn’t have a plan. Everything that is blasted on social media about women of my age, I am 55, is about becoming invisible to the working world. I didn’t and don’t want that to happen to me - or to others - I want to be working for a long time to come. But when you don’t have your next gig lined up, that feeling of being superfluous when you are at home floating around in your uggs can feel quite overwhelming. Fear is rooted in our ego, a place of judgment, scarcity and blame. Over the course of this year, I have learnt to sit with my ego and whilst it never goes away I have learnt not to be defined or driven by it. In doing so it has lost its potency, its hold. 

2. Slow down to speed up

This year’s pause has given me the space I have needed to recalibrate. To work out what I really, really want to do and not do what others expect of me or want from me.  Time to think, time to explore, time to reflect. If I had done what some of us were talking about a year ago it would have been a disaster. 

3. Less is more

Simple is best. Test your ideas, hone them, invite feedback, adapt, stay nimble. Amazon started selling books! 

4. Things take longer than you expect

The old saying ‘we overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can achieve in a year’ is me to a T. I have achieved a huge amount this year. All of it I never imagined. I have learnt to pace myself, to slow down, to become more intentional, more considered.

5. Don’t network, drink coffee (or tea!)

There is so much written about ‘how to network’ and ‘how much women hate networking’. To be honest, I am sick and tired of reading all of it. We get hung up on the word networking - which feels so transactional and insincere. I don’t network. Never have, never will. What I do is create and cultivate genuine relationships. This year I have drunk a lot of my favourite green tea. I have met some amazing people. You don’t click with everyone, that’s OK. You are also after different things, and at different stages and that’s OK too. It’s less of a learning, more of a reminder of the importance of making time to meet with others. It's OK to walk away knowing that you aren’t a fit for one another as there are plenty of people out there who you do fit with.

6. Be curious

So stay open, stay curious, learn and listen. Go to share, ask for support. It's amazing what you will get back and what new relationships will form. 

7. Take care of your health

We are all surrounded by cancer; my husband has terminal cancer. Mental health issues are on the rise. Burnout is common parlance. The world is getting faster and people are feeling more disconnected and sadder. We only get one life. None of us know how long we have. I am learning to put my oxygen mask on me and when I do, funnily enough I have time for everything and everyone else! On top of dog walking, and my gym classes, I have taken up cold water swimming, started yoga, started spin classes and been introduced to rebounding, juicing and drinking kombucha! 

8. Getting out of my head and trusting my heart - instinct combo! 

I dread to think how many hours or even days I have spent lost in my head. The end result is a mojo sapper. However, the more I dial into my instinct and connect with my purpose and passion the greater my clarity, drive and focus. 

9. Take the first step

Whilst you need to have some idea of the direction you want to head in, it’s even more important to take the first step. Momentum then follows. Opportunities and people show up in ways you could never imagine. Ask for help. Being a lone wolf is just that… lonely. 

10. Givers and takers

I am fascinated, as Evie Rosset talks about, by the ‘brighter’ side of human nature - our desire to help others, and how we can capitalise on these tendencies to make the world a better place. I am a natural giver and as I explore my new idea, I have learnt that I am not alone. Others too want to find a way to give back. If this chimes with you and/or you are researching this area I would love to hear from you, so please dm me. 

11. The definition of success

What does success mean to you? To me health is wealth – mental, physical and spiritual. Of course what’s in my bank balance is also flippin important but I also trust, not in a completely bo-ho way that the money will come.. It’s about where you focus your time and energy. I don’t want to be one of the women who get 2% of VC funding. I’m totally cool being amongst the other 98%. Don’t get me wrong. I am ambitious and driven to be a successful entrepreneur but I won’t allow myself to deplete my well being by being driven to work harder, faster, longer. Nor am I driven by fear and expectation. If it takes me longer I am OK with that. 

12. Journal 

This monthly diary started from a position of fear and has ended in a position of love. During the year people have reached out and told me how much they relate and enjoy reading my diary. The value has not only been in the recording of my year, but also the deeper connection I have with myself, with others, and recognising the beauty of being lost.  I also journal in the middle of the night when I am awake confronted by those pesky middle of the night nonsensical thoughts. I write them down. They go and I sleep. 

I am really looking forward to 2025. To harnessing my Mildlife Mojo and  sharing with you my plans for the next chapter of my career - championing women at its heart but more.

Until then. Switch off from LinkedIn and have a wonderful Christmas.