June's diary

Wow, what a month June has  turned out to be! 

So much so that it will forever be one of those months that I will never forget and one that back in May I could never have envisaged. 

It’s hard to know how to share as it's anchored with ‘ego’ and my understanding of it and the damage it can cause if you don’t know how to tame it. 

I am not a psychologist, so I find myself fumbling around to find the right words to make sense of what I have been feeling. I share this because it's our egos laced with fear and blame that prevent us from living our best and peaceful lives. 

I closed 2to3days back in December not because it had failed. But because I personally had run out of gas. For those of you who don’t know, my husband was diagnosed three years ago with stage 4 prostate cancer. The Royal Marsden didn’t mince their words. We were told he would be dead in a year if the drugs didn’t work. We have two children who are now 19 and 17. The drugs are working and my husband, despite a few hiccups along the way, is still going strong. But in these three years we have needed to make some big adjustments and it fell to me to do the lion’s share of them. The workload took its toll especially in the first year as we simply didn’t know if the drugs were going to work.  I share this, because out there so many people will have their own life curveballs which derail careers and businesses, but life goes on, different choices to be made and new opportunities arise. 

The rub for me personally was that until two weeks ago I couldn’t see that the only viable choice for me and my family was to stop 2to3 days. I thought I had failed because I was acting like superwoman shouldering it all but inside, I was creaking at the seams. I simply couldn’t do it all, something had to give, or I would have, and that certainly wasn’t an option! 

Closing 2to3days also really hurts. It was my third child; I had worked so hard and achieved so much and remain as passionate as ever about helping women grow their careers and businesses.

My close friends and colleagues could all see that it was the most obvious choice to make, but I couldn’t. I had no perspective, and it has been gnawing away inside making me feel ‘less than’ not ‘good enough’. I knew I needed to get away, but I didn’t realise the power of doing so until I did.  

Passionately interested in nutrition and the impact this has on our wellbeing as well as wanting to try something totally different I was fortunate enough to go to Jason Vale’s Juicy Oasis Retreat in Portugal. For a week I lived off only four juices a day and did between 3 -5 hours of full-on exercise each day. I didn't feel hungry, I didn’t feel tired from all of the exercise. Far from it. I felt full, I felt energised, and I felt alive. I did yoga, spin classes, walked in the woods, swam in the lake and fell in love with the power of rebounding. Yes, I lost some weight but more importantly I gained some wonderful new friends, Annabel Nichols (she, her) Fiona Logan Nicole Le Saout and Harriet Rad and importantly a fresh perspective on life’s events and the encrusted barnacle weighing me down vanished. But what was spooky, and I mean really spooky were the serendipitous conversations I had that have helped shape how the next chapter of my career is taking shape to support women’s careers and businesses. 

So, to conclude I have a question. How’s your ego?  is it in check or is your fear or blame holding you back from living your best life? If so, what’s the one thing you need to do now to help set you on the right path for you? For now, that pesky barnacle encrusted inner critic has vanished. I feel free

What I learnt. 

• The value of stepping out of your comfort zone and growing your network 
• The importance of confronting your ego and recognising when it isn’t serving you 
• The woo - woo inside of me was reminded that the universe does provide when you are on the right path
• Don’t worry, don’t hurry - is a lovely mantra to start the day with 
• The nutritional benefits of juicing! 

What else

• Yesterday I had my first golf lesson, I didn’t disgrace myself, it’s a long road but a good start!
• I read the Clean Gut - an excellent book 
• I am reading Working Identity by Herminia Ibarra, so insightful and a refreshing perspective
• I discovered the Modern Elders Academy (MEA) based in the states that are helping midlifers to redefine the next chapter of their careers
• I am loving listening to The Rich Roll podcast have learnt so much from listening to episode #836 with Phil Stutz – he knows what’s wrong with you and has the tools to fix it. on as well as episode #806 with Chip Conley the Founder of the MEA and why life gets better with age
• I continue to swim

Let me leave you with this; -

“The purpose of life is to find your gift, 

The work of life is to develop it

The meaning of life is to give it away”.  (David Keltner)